A new start

2009-05-20T21:43:00.000-07:00

**** Blows dust off the main page of the blog****

Ripples in a pond.

You throw a rock into a pond, you will see a concentric circles from around the central point. The Circles spread and slowly dissipate (through an inverse square relationship) the further they move from the central point to a point in which the energy approaches 0 and then can no longer be seen.

I had retired from the world of blogging, this is due to multiple factors one of which work, as the stories are either clearly inappropriate, heart breaking, or breach certain confidentiality arrangements. The other is time which is not completely indirectly related to the first.

However today i blow the dust off the blog to explore some ideas. I said i would not go back to this, there was so little time and this took so much, but i needed somewhere i could say what i needed to say.

I talk of course of Chris Cariou, who was to blogging, what George W Bush was to welding.

A man who shared so much of his life with us. His tales of family, of common struggles, his bro-mance with another amazing human being Donn. He truly understood the importance of people in your life, mateship, trust and respect. He showed this through his humour and Humility.

Chris has recently had a stroke. It is amazing how we forget how much people mean, until we nearly lose someone we care about. The reports so far are mixed now it is just the waiting game, for Chris, his family and friends. All our thoughts are with you mate, hang in there.

One event, leading to a chain of events, a central splash radiating out to all areas of what is rapidly becoming a very small pond.

2008-07-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

Wow this blog is really falling into disrepair, its not that i am lazy it just i dont have the tie to sit down and blog.

Where i am at now... Well i am 25 and still thinking the same thoughts as were i was when i started this blog... stuck on the concepts of is there a god, do i have free will, why is the world the way it is, can it be changed, why is abbreviation such a long word.

I thought the job i am currently doing would give more answers, however it merely raises more questions, morality is tested, the concepts of justice and the lies we take as truth.

Terry Pratchett wrote an awesome book called the Hog father, in which he makes the point that young people are conditioned to believe in the smaller lies, such as the tooth fairy, Santa clause, in order that they believe in the bigger lies later in life. such as truth, justice and the American Way, or Australian Values. There is so little fairness or justice in the world. Maybe we need to believe in the lies to make the world work, i don't think people could truly go on knowing the truth or maybe it is just easier to believe in the lies.

A few years dedicated to writing and thinking and i still cant find a hard and fast rule, everything has its exception. The natural laws, Physics has it exceptions, quantum mechanics and Newtonian Mechanics don't mesh. Our ideas of biology are continually changing, even mathematics continually advances and changes.

I guess i have a point in here that i am 25 years old and i still know nothing, the harder i look the more questions i find, either the answers i seek are unobtainable or just non existent.

Please note this is not a depressed or down post, just getting some stuff off my chest.

Aidan

2008-05-06T06:10:00.001-07:00

Autobots and Deceptacons

Protect or destroy, Good or evil, black and white.

No shades of grey in the world of the Autobots, our whole lives we are shown a world through TV, teachers, scriptures, and books. Good is always rewarded (except for Job where it is ok to treat someone poorly as long as it is for the purposes of gamblng) and Evil is always punished (except where we try to illustrate eternal reward over transient possessions).

Life when I was a child was simple, people were nice, crime existed but was always caught and punished, life made sense.

Optimus Prime, noble, honest, kind, loyal, selfless in actions would, if he existed today be stuck in a middle management position, up to his eye balls in debt, and . Megatron evil, disloyal, ambitious, dastardly , uncaring, would be the head of a multinational corporation surrounded by money and prosperity.

Now here I am very lost within, fighting morality, still hoping and praying for the simple black and white days of youth, answers to why bad stuff happens, and why shit things happen to good people.

I see a world dying, horrid senseless acts, for money, for street cred, and worse still just for kicks. People trying to live up to a US gangsta image, we have become obsessed with image to a point we follow any image put in front of us.

I want to feel the way I did as a child, hope, oportunity, and innocence. Instead of work, worry, and the harsh realities of life.

**i talked to Stace**

I just looked at an image of a two people black and white, side by side riding a bike up a hill. I feel like crying looking at the picture, freedom of the road, thoughts of my father and life I left behind chasing something I may not even be able to obtain...

Somedays it is just really hard to make sense of it all

2008-04-25T03:26:00.000-07:00

Been a bit stumped for topics so i decided to learn something about every word in the dictionary and try and relate that back to the world around me.... This may be a complete train wreck so please bare with me.

A:

A (black adder the Third) - Impersonal Pronoun it doesn't really mean anything

A (Queensland) - How one ends a sentence in northern Australia, "So you're from Queensland A?"

A - Without eg.- Agnostic, Atheism, Within A.

A - Singular (ie. one , not two, nor three, four is completely out of the question unless you are subtracting three.)

A - The first letter of the Alphabet

A - Musical note amongst the lines of Evelyn Goodwins Butt Deserves Framing, and FACE which make up the spaces on lines for musical notation.

A (with a small circle on top) - Angstrom an atomic measurement equal to 1*10^-10 of a metre, ie. really bloody small. Used in measuring the diametre of George Bush's brain as well as atoms, atomic bond lengths, and electromagnetic radiation.

A -a fictitious Grade applied to school work, as opposed to the grade of "please see me after class" which was applied to my work.

To quote Black Adder

Black Adder : AB
Balrick: "A Buzzing Thing"
Black Adder: Baldrick i mean something which starts with A B.
Baldrick: Honey? Honey starts with a bee.

2008-04-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

I thought my first post back would write itself, there is so much i want to say.

Life up here is so different. The people are different the roads are different, the weather, nothing is the same as the life i left behind. It is scary and auxilerating at the same time. So much lost, the safety net, the friends, old habits and routines. However there is so much to gain, new friends, new adventures, new stories, new ways of seeing the world.

Everything i have been through in the last 6 months is shaping the way i see the world. Sudden shock of learning the world you live in is just a sugar coated topping, that the world beneath that is harsher than you could ever imagine.

Paradigm Shift:

Is changing the way we use information to view a situation. This is best described in the following analogy. (sorry about the vulgarity)

Imagine a small boy reahing up his Grand mothers skirt you see this from a distance, grandma does not seem upset by it and is actively encouraging it.. Perversion is generally your first thought.

Now someone tells there is a bee in nanas skirt, and she is alergic, boy goes from potential deviate to hero.

That's a Paradigm Shift.

That is what i am undergoing, no not geratric entymology, but a change in the way i interpret the world around me. I am hoping this is for the best.

I am still trying to come to grips with so much up here, i am always challenged at work, i am making a lot of mistakes, getting used to new roads and not getting lost. For those who have been to our nations capital this is an easy thing to do.

Any hoo this is my life right now, sorry this post is slightly self indulgent but i am just trying to see the world clearly and give you a heads up into my world at the moment.

tales of physics, chemistry and a perfect life to follow

2008-04-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought it was safe to enter the Blogosphere....

He is back from the dead

Stay Tuned

2007-10-04T17:48:00.002-07:00

I am not one for long winded goodbyes, however this is to be my last ever blog post.

I am leaving for a new job in a couple of days where I will not have net access, nor the time to comment or post. I am exceedingly excited, Stace will not be accompanying me on this new course and I may not see her for the next 3 months.

I have never been good at saying goodbye generally I just disappear save the scandal til the end, leave without saying goodbye. I used to joke about not wanting o be present at my funeral, the truth is I didn’t want to be the only one there. Now as I grow older I realise that people do care, people do notice when I am not around, and it makes walking away a lot harder. However adventure calls, a chance to change the world, to be a good person and make a difference to world which is in desperate need of change.

To all that have posted here thank you for your support, Keshi for your humanity, Within Without your sense of justice and family are a rarity in this day and age, Menchie for showing how you can be successful and a mum, Lee a life with family and Monty Python, Whitesnake for not being afraid to be flawed and imperfect I will miss your honesty, Cazzie for showing history can be fun and listening to my pointless tales, Jewell who I feel is almost a second grandma to me, Shelly angry but alive, Paul who gave me a lifetime of thought In a single post, and Homoesapeons whose writing and life always challenged and provoked my own preconceived ideas. To anyone I missed I am sorry this was written in a hurry, but to all of you, thank you I will miss you all, thanks for showing me your lives and I wish you many more happy posts.

Take care out there to all of you…

Finaly…

Up until three years ago I felt like my life meant nothing, that I was running around in circles lost and incomplete, kind of like a man with only one roller-skate on. My final goodbye is for my beloved wife, without who none of this would be possible, I love you Stacy, I will miss you, if you need me I am only a phone call away…

Thanks for the second skate….

Thanks to Chris Hall and Stabbing Westward for my final song…The song is called Angel.

I believed that love was sacred
As I dove blindly into her sea
You see, that warm embrace felt more like drowning
As endless waves crashed over me

She was an insatiable black hole
Feeding off my mind and off my soul
I find love humilating
Sick and desperate need that drains me
God I hope I never feel again

But I've never been loved by an angel
I've never felt anything so pure
I've never been loved by an angel
Until tonight your heaven filled my room

She showed me love could lift me higher
With a kiss she reparied these broken wings
She revived my fading spirit
Restored my faith in everything

I have never felt I had a home
Even in a crowd I felt alone
I'd almost given up on life
I'm fully determined now
And never thought I'd ever feel again

I believed in nothing
But you believe in me
I thought that life was worthless
But you told me I'm a star

Wish me luck:)

2007-09-08T17:03:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in a man’s life in which he must swallow his pride, humble himself and ask for help. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Blogosphere for me that day is in fact today. Those who have read my posts, have translated my comments, have inserted punctuation where I have refused to use it. Or, deleted, the extra, commas, that I tend to use. Yes ladies and gentlemen I need your help in creating a letter.

The first line in any piece of writing should set the tone for the work at hand.

Please help by selecting the following options..

A) To whom it may concern
B) To My esteemed supervisor and valued colleagues
C) Hey Jerk Wads.

Now to move on to the purpose behind the letter, this should be as positive as possible, showing some of my highlights of the career. With any resignation letter it should also state the effective date of resignation, and any reason for leaving with a positive spin on it.

I am writing to inform you of my impending

A) Resignation
B) Termination of my contract
C) Decision to run as far away from your evil organization as possible.

This is to take effect of today. I would like to say that since I have started working for your company I have

A) Gained many valuable skills, and a heightened level of personal development
B) Collected a vast array of stolen pens, note pads, Company paraphernalia and staplers
C) Been given a positive attitude as I can see how bad life could be if I had to work here for the rest of my life.

However it is time to move on as I have found employment

A) In my dream profession working to serve the community and bring justice to those deserving.
B) Working in a home for the criminally insane and look forward to meeting the management sometime in the near future.
C) Working as a piano player in a hoar house, as this is less embarrassing to tell my friends about.

My time within your company has been
A) an amazing and life enriching experience
B) full of officious and bureaucratic behavior which has caused serious psychological harm
C) just like being drunk, if you don’t see a problem with being drunk, ask a glass of water what it is like.
I would like to take the time to thank the company

A) for the years of training, the good times and friendships I’ve made.
B) For nothing as everything I have done here I have done off my own back
C) For not loosing this piece of correspondence like every other one that I have sent in.

Now the perfect closure

A) Yours sincerely
B) Yours (as in Up) sincerely
C) Cya jerk wads

Aidan I.

There are many people at my job I will miss and I am not truly going on bad terms, many laughs and stupid moments. It is just not me at the best of my abilities, I have a new job which is pending right now… but a man can dream cant he, a man can dream.

2007-08-20T17:16:00.001-07:00

See below

2007-08-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

Image of over all ride to come, once i get my computer up and running

Who's feeling fit?

Excellent saddle up its time for a ride. Bike shorts on do you best Matt Shervington impression, Bike Shoes with cleats, bike top tight as possible mmmm lycra, and of course the ankle socks ( within without may be excuse from these).

Starting point Westfield Southland, opened in 1967 with a handfull of stores, and is now a shrine to consumerism encompassing over 500 stores over three levels and a staggering area of 128,000 square metres. Contained within are strangley enough three Donut Kings, 3 Gloria Jeans, and too many clothing stores to mention. I must make the observation shocking to some that there are no bike stores in Southland. Even the sports stocks have poor fair when it comes to what matters.

Then the treachorous Nepean HWY, 91 km running from beautiful Melbourne, to sorento along the bay from Mordialoc onward. Personal stats on Nepean HWY, I have nearly been cleaned up several times crossing that stretch of road, and once clipped at the intersection while riding. car came accross 2 lanes, and smacked my front wheel, thankfully for him he kept driving.

Down to beach road, a haven for cyclists, if god was to create a velodrome he would name it beach road. Many cyclists call this stretch of track home, including but not limited to Bayside cyclists, Banditos cycling club and the boys from Kennedys. THis is the same stretch were the pedestian was killed earlier this year by the Hell Ride.

Down to Ricketts POint, a massive Marine sancturay and superb tea room, trust me the iced coffee is perfect! The view accross the beach, caffeinated beverage in hand, life does not get much better... Adding some pedals to the chair might help though.

From there onto black rock, home to 3 bike shops, a heap of cafes, and an amazing stretch of coast line. As seen in the image i stole from wikipedia on the left.. There is a superb cafe that makes the most awesome open steak sandwiches, protein and salt, fuel the machine:)

Sandringham is next on the agenda, featured in a Whitlams song.... God drink's at the Sando. but we have to keep pushing on, its mostly up hill now... On through elwood, brighton and Hampton (where my father was born), onto St kilda.

Stkilda Victoria, has so many land marks its hard to do them justice, Luna Park, its amazing beaches, its history steeped in trade and prostitution. Included would be the palace ball room, now closed, however so many artists have graced its halls, One of which Seven dust. MOshing with glee at the thought....I should also mention some of the best dining in melbourne, the prince band room, and the Espy (the last two are great venues).

On through to south Melbourne, for 25 km, spin arround and head home same path full pelt... averaging approximately 36 km an hour on the ride home....

Lock the bike away and into the shower, ok ytou can stop following me now:)

2007-08-18T23:47:00.001-07:00

Home Made Mush Recipe.

Mush:

Several potatoes peeled and chopped

Plain Flour.

Firstly boil the potatoes until soft, drain the excess water. Mash potatoes to a soft consistency and add flout, kneading the mix until it forms almost a potato dough. Continue to work this through until a smooth consistency is achieved.

Pinch off pieces of the dough, roll into small balls and put to one side as shown in the below image. This is the uncooked form of your Gnocchi. You can in the afore mentioned stages add salt and pepper to taste.

While the Gnocchi is being prepared get your gorgeous wife to start on the sauce..

For the sauce you will require

Onion diced

Capsicum diced

Can of tomatoes diced

Black olives sliced

Crushed garlic.

Cook onion and garlic until the onion becomes clear, add the capsicum and cook for a couple more minutes, the capsicum will begin to soften…Add tomatoes, olives and some fresh basil to the mix salt and pepper to taste, cook until the alleged Gnocchi is ready.

Place formed gnocchi in a pot of oiled and salted boiling water, cook until the pasta floats on the surface… Pour cooked Gnochi into a sieve, laugh manically as it goes splat in spectacular form.

Recipe #2:

Open packet of pasta, carefully using a pair of scissors, cook the pasta, then serve.

Spoon sauce over the top of the instant pasta, Be cuddled by your ever loving wife and realise you are loved even when you stuff up.

Life doesn’t always go to plan, sometimes you are ahead, sometimes you are behind. Sometimes pasta works other times, you end up with liquid mash! However sometimes we can adjust our plans, find solutions, open a packet of instant pasta instead of focussing on the giant steaming mess in front of us…

I am sure there is a point in this somewhat over elaborate metaphor I call a blog…

Bon Appetite

2007-08-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

It's official I am now old...
Thank you to mum and dad for bringing me into this world, thanks to my friends for the love anf support to keep going, to the bloggers of the world for listening to my many rants and pipe dreams. Thanks to Stace for making the world a much more beautiful place.

25 amazing years on earth, so much experienced, yet so much left to do.

2007-08-11T19:36:00.001-07:00

Following up on a Tag from Stace:

8 Random things about Aidan...

1) I would consider Myself an athiestic satanist.... IE i love the spirit of rebelion and qyuestioning embodied by satan, however i feel the details of its existence are a bit sketchy.

2) I am alergic to Oranges and orange juice. I have only found one other person who had the same alergy. I met this young man in hospital, who had also broken his arm (same one on the same day) and was in the same ward as me. Very weird.

3) I have very high levels of testosterone, I have the pathology results framed on the wall. I am just below the dangerous levels.

4) I have dyed my hair nearly every colour, pink, blue, red, green, black, and bleached blonde. The only time my parents ever got upset is when it was black they thought it made me look sinister...

5) I ride atleast 40 km most days, with the exception of pouring rain or gale force winds. Living on the coast we generally get the latter. My next big ride will be 210 km in a day. More to come on that topic.

6) I dont watch TV at all. We have one in the house, it has no reception it is there for our bizare movie collection, including such greats as.... Trainspotting, the crow, triumph of the will, hot fuzz, shaun of the dead, hoodwinked, Dark City, Dogma, to name just a few.

7) Anyone listening to my ipod on shuffle would assume i was bipolar. My musical tastes range from The Wiggles to Cradle of filth. Often the ipod will play toot toot chugga chugga big red car, then follow up with suicide and other comforts. I happy bop along to both...

8) I held a civilian pilots licence for about 6 years from 1996 until 2001, i then lost interest and went onto other adventures. I have also held a helicopter crewmans, and jumped out of a chopper from 50 ft into the water to facilitate rescues.... pin drop with the prop wash. Such a rush.

Ok well i hope this has been enlightening, anyting else you want to know just ask....I generaly dont do lists so i am not tagging anyone else.

Aidan

2007-08-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

**** Queue Fanfare****

Tonight on this is your life, we have with us a man who was born on the 18th of July 1918, who spent three decades in prison for his beliefs, and went on to become President of South Africa… Aidan I this is your life.

Aidan: I think that Nelson Mandela’s File.
Host: Are you sure? Might be a bit young for 1918 I’ll concede I just assumed you drank a lot of tea. Have you spent any time in Robben island at all?

Aidan: Can we assume for the moment I haven’t?

Host: Ok; you weren’t by any chance born on June 14 1928, and a South American Rebel leader??

Aidan: Not quite…. Born August 82, does that help?

Host: Leane Rimes?

Aidan: Do I look like Leane Rimes?

Host: A little, maybe if you shaved we could read her file…Ok then who are you?

Aidan: Aidan.

Host: well what’s so special about you?

Aidan: I’m nearly 25 is that something, I survived 25 years? Does that make me special?

Host: You survived puberty good for you.. Did you know Leane Rimes has sold over 37 million albums world wide?

Aidan: wow that’s cool. She turns 25 this year too.

Host: She did all that. what have you done?…

Aidan: Well I um, *hesitates* I got a degree? Does that count? Molecular Biology biochemistry?

Host: lets face it Universities are glorified babysitters. No real challenge there. No plethora of lovers?

Aidan: No, not since I got married.

Host: A romantic story?

Aidan: we got drunk and I dragged her to the back seat of my….

Host: I’ll have to stop you there.

Host: Grammy award?

Aidan: No

Host: Military service?

Aidan: Yes, trained duxed a course, on call for os duty but never deployed.

Host: That’s something I guess.

Aidan: I ride my bike a lot, held a pilots licence and at least 6 people owe me a life debt.

Host:Life debt?

Aidan: I saved their lives through search and rescue or resuscitation there fore in part I am

responsible for them.

Host: That’s odd, Religion?

Aidan: Satanist,

Host: Oh

Aidan: Yeah sorry. I’ve jumped out of helicopters, held a pilots license, been to Asia Europe and

travelled. I’ve seen most of Australia, a heap on foot or Push bike, raised thousands for charity.

Host: Guess that’s ok not really TV material

Aidan: I bought a Leane Rimes Album.

Host: Really !

Aidan: Nah. Sorry to disappoint.

I am Approaching the quarter way mark I am wondering what have I done to deserve this life, have I done enough, do I have enough to show for it. Show much left undone, so many adventures lay ahead. I have a wonderful travelling partner who has made the last 3 years spectacular.
Maybe I am just getting old.

2007-07-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

Francis is on the roof.

My family has always dealt with anything with humour, so when one of the additions to our life passed away a week ago I was informed via text message, Francis is on the roof. Yes it is sad to say the family bird is now in the great aviary in the sky pooping on the cats of hell. Yes Francis, as the Monty python boys would say is an EX parrot.

Francis is on the roof, you say? how is one to arrive at the logical conclusion of the passing of ones pets, from the ambiguous “Francis is on the roof”?

It all comes back to one of the many terrible jokes my father told me when I was a young man which became part of our families identity.

It all starts with an English lord returning from the doctors after hearing the bad news that he was getting too old to work the land, that it was all too much stress on his body, and for his own health he had been advised to hire a caretaker.

So the old lord goes through the paper and finds Dave, the Australian farmer, who is fantastic a little slow but brilliant on the farm, after a few weeks, letting Dave settle in the old lord moves into the town to enjoy the quiet life and leaves his number with Dave just in case anything goes wrong.

Anyway a few weeks pass and the old lord receives a phone call, “hey its Dave from the farm, I have some bad news your cat is dead”. The lord is taken aback, “The cat!,” he cried, “that cat has been with me for 12 years, I loved it like a son, and now it’s gone.” The old lord sobbing into the phone, says to Dave, “look I am glad you told me but that was way too blunt, you need to let me come to terms with it. Next time something like this happens this is what I want you to do. Firstly say something like the cats on the roof, once I am ok with this move on to something like, the cat is in the vet’s care, once I come to terms with this, try the vet did all he could but sadly the cat passed away. It would make the shock a lot less.’ So Dave repeats the instructions back, says he will try his best to reduce the shock of any future passings.

Once again a few months pass, and the old lord gets a phone call. “hey it’s Dave from the farm.” “Ok Dave what has happened “said the old lord. To which Dave Responds, “Well your mum’s on the roof”

So for pets, family members, or friends the shock of death has always been forwarded on the same way. I know it seems morbid, but our philosophy has always been one of celebration of a life remember good moments, friendships, hang shit on people if they succeed just as much as if they fail. Call your mate a dopey prick, but if someone else said it be the first into the Frey.

You can’t take life to seriously or you will never get out alive!

2007-07-05T14:27:00.001-07:00

I sometimes wonder, well firstly why the save now button is slowly creeping across the screen with unknown purpose or intent as I write this, and secondly if i am truly an alien observer in a human disguise.

Yes before you say it it is not a very good disguise.

This has been brought ot my attention through my own behaviour over the last few months, as you all know i am the Stereotypical Australian Science Geek/ cyclist, that is so prevalent in all the Physcology books. However i can be human, you know flawed and imperfect; now before you jump in an say "Aidan thats a lie perfection is crap next to you" please hear me out.

This story like most stories on this blog is about a girl, not the girl i usually write about, my beautiful, intelligent, all round great chick, wife Stacy, but annother. This girl is/was not a a great girl, she was conceited, and opinionated, and had very little time for the hero of the piece (yours truly) , during the time we shared in high school.

However as life has a sense of humour on my daily walk from the station to work i see this girl, neither of us wishing to renew an aquaintence, we did the only mature and sensible thing , we did the blank.

You know you walk past distracted by something else, not making eye contact, staring on ahead as if it is a total stranger or axe murder walking beside you. So we found away round the unfortable "hey, how is life", "Do you remeber such and such", "Wow your butt got BIGGG" kind of small talk we all know and love. Our lives continued on, nothing to be said.

The plan was working perfectly, except, now we walk past one annother on a daily basis, we are now at the recognise each other as regular passer by stage, so now we blank due to past history and the blank of recognition. Yes ladies and gentlemen, fellow alien observers, Canadians , I have created the double blank.

Childish huh?

2007-06-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry ladies and gentlemen this blog is really falling into disrepair.

IN short life is amazing right now, I have made massive progress in getting my dream job, I blitzed the physical although not without incident, I given up that naughty bean we call coffee, without the same level of withdrawl as last time, working hard at new job and cycling takes up whatever time I find left over.

Stace and I are going really well, the last three weeks have been a blur of kisses, hugs, home cooked meals, celebratory dinners and an incident involving 2 bottles of fantastic red and a hickey the size of a tennis ball on my neck, some how those two are related!

AS you may know dad has been out for a bit with the toe, so the moment I found he could get back on the bike it was time for another adventure. 72 km, 2.5 hours, one puncture and a happy non tilted father.

Boys toys never change they just become more expensive.. 1-2 years old, no matter how much the toy cost the wrapping and the box is a lot more interesting and enjoyable. Total cost (of used portion) $3
2-6 Actions figures, including the immortal Einstein action figure, Barbie dolls for our first experience of anatomy, and my beloved Transformers (movie released this week) rough cost between $6-20 dollars.
Ages 6-12 cricket bats (incase of girl attack), soccer balls, football clothes in the colour of what ever team won the preceeding premiership rough price $100.
Ages 12-18 Computer games, consoles, new clothes, Ipods, MP3 players, gadgets and Baterries $100 to $500…

Then the Big boys toys, Cars, computers, women, Airfares, we still compare the toys with our friends, get upset when they get a better one, we still try and trade toys (although women get upset with that arrangement), we are boys with beards lets face it, guys are immature but you love us anyway.

Then you get cyclists, people who think nothing of spending 500 dollars on a seat post (carbon fiber light and strong) , people that a new toy can cost over $7500, GPS, cycle computers, gear sets over 1000 dollars, we get embarrassed when caught reading cycling magazines by our significant others ( I swear I only read it for the articles), we even find lycra attractive.

And back to the ride, 50 km full pelt to catch my father at Safety beach (formerly Shark Bay), a blow out coming round the cliffs and a large piece of skin removed when my thumb got torn open by a rouge tire lever. Ride back through the region I grew up in on the sunny Mornington Peninsula (just an easy 20km). Along the HWY, filling my lungs with salt sea air, passing the shops I new so well, pedaling behind dad, talking bikes. Two big kids with expensive toys out on an adventure. And then the highlight of any training regime…. Breakfast..
WE train big so we eat big, the man breakfast, steak, sausages, bacon, mushies, eggs, nothing green, washed down with an ice cold beer, breakfast of champions!

2007-06-11T00:33:00.000-07:00

Friendship is a dish best served on rice or with concrete favoured muffins..

First and foremost I am sorry for the lack of blogging activity but life has been busy in its own way. Many distractions and adventures, meals and bikes to distract me from my typing…

If you are ever down the best pick me in history is good company, good drink and good food. A mutual friend of Stace and I had had a bad week our solution dinner and trivial pursuit. So present without further stalling to increase my word count…..

Our Potato and Cauliflower Curry…

What you will need….

Entree: pappadams, liquorice allsorts, choc sultanas and peanuts and grapes, orange juice (which I am highly allergic to but others like it)

Mains: Potatoes, cauliflower, ginger, a can of tomatoes, garlic, onion, Greek yoghurt, garam marsala, chilli, coriander, cumin, sea salt, tumeric,

Desert/supper: a chess board, trivial pursuit, and the Questions from the game Balderdash.

First step frantically clean the house from top to bottom to clean away the week of neglect before a friend arrives, Mix up your spice mix, 1 teaspoon of chilli, 2 of coriander, 1 of tumeric and cumin, 1 of sea salt and garam marsala, mix them in a bowl… Take the onion cut into wedges, wash and peel the spuds (about 500g) cut into cubes, heat some oil in a pot, add the garlic, onion and taters, coat with the oil, keep the contents of the pot moving so not to burn the onion. After 7-10 mins, add the ginger (grated) and the spice mix, stirring so it coats all the spuds and onions with a glorious yellow coat. Keep that moving for 1-2 mins, add the tomatoes and half a can of water, stir through…. To the mis add the cauliflower florets, and stir through.

Cook over medium heat until spuds are tender (20-30 mins)… With the recipe you should have dinner ready to go at least half an hour before the scheduled meet up time, do the reputation of your friend of being painfully early.

Serve on boiled rice, round the table telling bad jokes, and stupid word games.

When Your wife leaves the room grab the chess board out, a get a couple of quick games, in win the first in 5 moves, but be seriously out classed in the second. Play trivial pursuit, and balderdash concurrently, Be able to create a meaning to an archaic word while trying to answer the trivial pursuit question correctly. Have both guys at the table humiliated by the only female player by about 3 chips each. Laugh joke and enjoy good fellowship and friendship until the wee hours of the morning.

Thanks for coming over Andrew, the couch is yours anytime you want it…

Concrete muffin recipe, Keshi had mentioned on her blog the strangest present she had received was an egg plant. A mate of mine M. pictured next to the mountain of beer, had decided to become domesticated and decided to cook a batch of muffins, due to the distractions of working life had left them in the oven for a period of several hours. When we finally retrieved these muffins, they were solid. S. the other house mate and I played kick to kick for half an hour without even cracking the surface of this muffin… I kept one of those muffins for 12 months, on his 21^st birthday we had it mounted, with the honorary title of muffin master engraved on the plaque, the muffin is still in tact to this day. His face when we gave it too him was priceless, what are friends for if you can't hang shit on one another.

WE are loosing the ability just to break bread with one another, to communicate, we have a million different methods of communication but nothing really to say. I guess these are two simple stories and one simple recipe, to show what it can be like. Take the time to listen to your friends, make an effort to do something unique, eat out together and enjoy the time you have, you may miss them one day.

Aidan

PS I will try and post more regularly… Good news dad is back on his feet, I was out riding with him on sat… More to come on that one.

This is balderdash...
What does this word mean

Horologem (pr: Hor-O-law-gemm):
If you dont know the meaning be creative:(points awarded for most humourous responce)

2007-05-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

/* Be forewarned the following was writen with an idle hour on a dreary day, and may contain traces of logical thought, and waffle*/

What Do I want to be?

The magnitude of this statement is enormous, Firstly I am asserting that A) there is a being either existentially or conceptually that is in existence. B) that said being has the ability to long or want, C) that the individual in question, Aidan as mentioned in the profile view of this blog has the ability to make a decision, either through free will, or an illusion of the afore mentioned free will as mentioned in the previous posts on determinism or existentialism.
In the statement there is an inherent assumption of time, that in the future I will be something, suggesting D) there is a construct of time E) that time is linear or at least progressing in a forward direction, F) that time will exist further than this point in time.

A) Back to first principles and doubt all that surrounds me, I may not be typing on a keyboard, staring a screen comprising of excited electrons, My senses may just be a fabrication by electrical impulses, or something more sinister. Can I doubt that I am doubting? No I cannot doubt my doubt. There for I must actually be. Now this claim, Is it merely conceptual, potentially I am a character in a novel (full of plot holes and spelling mistakes), or existential. I can accept a level of existence, but cannot prove it’s character. Is this problematic? From a Utilitarian standpoint, one can still function, can still be, the true nature is not important only the way we use it. Absolutism however drives me to know, It may be an existence but not an existence in the actual, as opposed to just the understanding.

B) With a level of understanding, Aidan as mentioned in the opening segment, is capable of what is arbitrary named feeling, the nature or origins of these feelings for purposes of this paper are irrelevant. Although they are potentially shaped biochemically, enhanced or moulded by previous experience (real, conceptual, imagined, or implanted.) Effecting the reception and response to said stimuli.

C) Free will has regularly been refuted through out history..
1) The church and fatalism, Gods great plan. Each individual has a calling a plan as one of God’s soldiers, to do good or ill as the master sees fit. IF the plan is set how can one have free will or a choice. Upon removing the great task the Second is the problem of Omniscience, if God knows all, he will know my future, outside of time he would see all, inside of time we merely have the illusion of choice. Major issues is assuming, one the God exists, see back issues on Teleology, cosmological argument, and ontological arguments.
2) Determinism, All things occur due to events preceding (a nice tie in with cosmological argument and why playing mouse trap makes you a god, part a potential of unifying theory?) This would say given a set starting condition one could predict the end with certainty. We could make a "decision" but the outcome is already known. The decision we make is already known, yes we make a choice, but that is not free will just an illusion of choice.
3) Existentialism that we are free and moral agents, able to make and are completely responsible for our actions. Could we tell with any certainty if the decisions we make are free or not. Answer is unfortunately no, but I direct your attention back to absolutism and utilitarianism. The term want can be justified within the question as there is as we can make a choice, free or not.

D) An increment must exist to measure the passing of events, real or imagined, programmed or perceived. The name time is arbitary.

E) Linear, Time as mentioned above, is perceived as linear. Events seem to have a chronological order, and a linear sequence of events. Are we programmed with gaps between the event? Our perception is not always the reality, in utilitarian terms Time is linear. My world Time is most likely trapezoidal in nature.

F) This one I cannot answer, it is not even a safe assumption. SO far so good on this second though.

To clarify, What, if time continues from this infinitesimally small moment in time, will Aidan either conceptually or existentially become, given free will or at least the illusion there of, if given the choice?

A long winded way to say i need a new job

2007-05-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

Its Official Stace and I are 1.2 times greater than Drew Barrymore and Tom Green and a Staggering 1.7 times greater than Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley. Both of these stats pale into insignificance compared to be being a whopping 180 times greater than the coupling of Britney (oh look at me I'm a Diva Spears) and Jason (people think I was on Seinfield) Alexander. (I know its not george from Seinfeld but his picture was funnier)

Yes ladies, Gentlemen and Canadians of the Blogosphere Stace and I are celebrating our belly button lint anniversary today, a grand total of six glorious months as husband and wife.

With Stace and I, it was love at fifth bottle , a party a few glasses of red, a few risqué trivial pursuit questions, and a drunken pash. From such humble and potentially embarrassing beginnings our love flourished due to many hours of… cuddles, adventure, Monty Python, Red Dwarf, Terry Pratchett and of course many romantic misunderstandings.

We have been together through thick and thin since: travelling Europe, Singapore, learning, growing and loving… Not to mention she is correcting my spelling and punctuation as we speakJ

I guess what I am trying to say is thank you Stacy, I would be lost without you, your love your support the way you bandage me up when I fall (and never seem to learn), the way you hold me when life gets tough, the way you always seem to be able to cheer me up, the way you let me win at chess, thanks for letting me get married in work boots and thanks for an amazing 6 months I can't wait to see what our future holds.

2007-05-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

How to Fold a paper hat..

Take a sheet of newspaper with the fold facing away from you.

Fold the right corner on the diagonal into the centre.

Fold the left corner into the centre.

Fold the remaining inch up towards the point, turn the hat over and repeat, use tape to shape the hat and hold it together. Decorate with leaves, shredded news paper, anything.

Place the hat on your head, walk down the street with two great mates and your wife on the way to a children's concert (well 18+ gig by a 1980's childrens entertainer).

Last night Stace and I saw Peter Combe, for those of you not born in Australia, Peter Combe was a children's entertainer with such hits as Wash your face in orange juice, news paper momma, toffee apple, and Juicy Juicy green grass just to name a few.

Imagine if you will a crowded pup 800 people, all the same age brought together by 2 hours everyday of quality programming during the 1980's. WE are talking the greats, Captain Planet, Widget the World Watcher, the Trap Door (oh globitz), and somewhere in the middle a five minute snippet, a song by the "beatles of childrens entertainment" Peter Combe. 5 minutes with lyrical genius such as …

The Tadpole song…

"What is happening to me
Whatever can it be
I'm not very happy and that's because
I liked the way I was

Now listen - it's really rather nice to be a frog
And live at the bottom of a bog
So don't be concerned or worry about a thing
Come on and sing-sing-sing"

and Juicy Juicy Green Grass (a Sheeps Lament)

Oh juicy juicy green grass (juicy juicy green grass)
Where have you go-one (where have you go-one)
Will you come ba-ack (will you come ba-ack)
Oh juicy juicy green grass (juicy juicy green grass)

Summer's been so dry-y (summer's been so dry-y)
Turned you into brow-own (turned you into brow-own)
Oh will you come ba-ack (will you come ba-ack)
Oh juicy juicy green grass (Juicy juicy green grass)

800 hundred people, half in paper hats singing loudly, dancing, even an attempt at moshing, remembering all the beautiful moments of our youth, how much promise and excitement the world held. In short Australians grew up with Peter Combe, the crowd last night cheered and screamed, 3 encores and a sell out for the pub.

I don’t think I have ever had so much fun at a concert before, laughing and being a kid. Just an amazing night of beer, women and song.

Isn't that what it is really all about?

Peter Combe Music (well snippets)

2007-05-15T21:50:00.001-07:00

Bully, Noun: a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

The Australian government is currently creating new legislation to increase the power of schools to discipline those responsible for bullying.

"Parents are entitled to expect their child is safe at school and that teachers and principals have the authority to ensure a strong learning environment. We want to provide teachers and principals with the necessary support for their essential work."

Mr Howard had said in a recent interview on Australian Radio.

Shouldn't all children regardless of race and Creed feel safe, loved and cared for.. Not just in schools. Children the world over, should be free from violence and fear of persecution. Why stop at children, should not everyone walking the face of the earth be free, from bullies, people who pray upon smaller and weaker people, to make themselves look stronger and tougher…

Imagine if you will, a family, there homes and lively hoods destroyed by war, facing persecution because they do not have the same ideals of those running the show. That family and their friends and extended family, sacrifice everything to raise the funds for "safe" passage to a country that can offer them hope, a new start, a chance for their children to have an education, their own home, simple dreams, things we take for granted. So they raise the funds, they are crammed onto a "boat," often unhygienic, barely sea worthy, barely room to move as others are crammed in together to make the journey as profitable as possible for the people smugglers.

They are intercepted by Australian coastal patrols, terrified not speaking the language as the ship is boarded, men with guns, yelling and screaming. These people risk it all, all there possessions, their homes and their home country on the dream of Australia, a land with "boundless plains to share" , they are greeted by the armed forces, transferred to offshore facilities such as Nauru, or Papua New Guinea, Women and children included, the defenceless. The people of Australia applaud our "man of steel" for his tough stance on Queue jumpers, stopping all these evil asylum seekers from making off with our jobs, benefits and women.

John Howard played the race card during the last election, claiming refugees were throwing their children into the sea, for sympathy to make the Australian people feel hatred and loathing of the evil foreigners and there unAustralian values, it was all a lie, but he had deniability, incorrect information from advisers. The public bought t and applauded the tough stance the government took, kicking those that couldn’t defend themselves, beating up and easy target.

Bully, Noun: a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

Who could possibly be better to advise on the topic of bullying.

Usefull links

Debunking the Myths about Asylum Seekers

Facts and Myths

2007-05-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Governments and the cow

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Thanks to Lletna for emailing this to me:)

2007-05-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Separated At Birth

Mr Sheen

Australian Prime Minister John Howard

2007-05-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight, after 3 months of waiting it is finally here. Nine inch Nails are playing at the Metro in Melbourne tonight, I await the screams of the crowd, the sweat and smells of other fans, the in-depth discussion on the new album and direction.

I await a sea of black, black nails, black lips, black shirts and corsets, black shoes and Multi coloured hair. I await The moment of freedom were nothing matters but the screams of the crowd, the music having its way with me, pulling me toward it lost in rhythm and emotion.

"Hey God
why are you doing this to me?
am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be?
why am i seething with this animosity?
hey God
i think you owe me a great big apology."

Terrible Lie- Pretty Hate Machine- Nine Inch Nails-

Nine inch nails formed in 1988, when Michael "Trent" Reznor was working as a programmer and Janitor for a small recording studio, Right Track Studios in Cleveland. After much pleading Reznor was giving a few hours to record a demo and the Nails were born… From such humble beginnings Nine Inch nails produced 6 Studio albums, From the Angry Purest feeling, to the emotional roller coaster that is the Fragile and onto almost political commentary within the latest album Year Zero. On top of the studio albums, three remix albums, and the live Album, All that Could Have Been.

" I beat my machine it's a part of me it's inside of me
I'm stuck in this dream it's changing me I am becoming
the me that you know had some second thoughts
he's covered with scabs and he is broken and sore
the me that you know doesn't come around much
that part of me isn't here anymore"

The Becoming- The Downward Spiral- Nine Inch Nails

My connection… Believe it or not I have not always been the happy go lucky being the sits before you today. I was confused angry and scared, Nothing seemed to fit, I was being shown God on one hand, and science on the other.

Brought up in a strongly religious household, God was the answer to all problems, I couldn’t shake it, I was drawn to science I could see the proof, the evidence, I could see random patterns no design no god, Nothing could be reconciled, everything around me worked but nothing seemed to fit. Then I heard the music that helped me make sense of it all, I found solace in sounds disjointed but connected, songs that fed into each other, but seemed unrelated. The anger the pain fuel me on through high school, an escape from the bullies, from a world that didn’t accept my thoughts, my opinions, the fact I thought AFL was homo erotic display, or that chess was a sport. It was my escape and my saviour. Music never made you feel guilty for thinking a particular, it gave you freedom.

" Well I use to stand for something
But forgot what that could be
Theres a lot of me inside you
Maybe your afraid to see

Well I use to stand for something
Well I'm on my hands and knees
Turning in the god of this war
And he signs his name with a capital G"

Capital G- Year Zero- Nine Inch Nails

2007-05-06T21:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the infrequency of posts, but we had a fight.

It's all my fault I was looking at another, we had been going so well since the start of our relationship, but now I am paying for it. Yes I know all guys do it, it's instinct, you see something you like and the head turns. The hunter gatherer function kicks in, the head snaps to the location of what you want (even if it is only fleeting). Surely this kind of violence is not warranted over such a small indiscretion. These near mortal wounds inflicted in front of other people too just to add insult to injury… I swear it’s the last time I will look at a passing bike now matter how good the gear set is.

Yes my new bike and I had an Altercation, surely you think it would understand that only truly want to spend time with it, but it seems to get jealous, when I look at other bikes, well mostly their components, and don’t even get me started on the anger created when I get caught flicking through the pages of a cycling magazine, " I swear I only buy for the articles". Cletus never believes me.

Cletus such a lovely name for a bike, they were some of the first words we said to each other. I remember when I was in the shop, the attraction was instantaneous, sitting there, the Tiagra gear set reflecting the light, all alone in a sea of indistinct pedals and wheels. Then when we touched we knew it was something special. The power on the thrusts, the feeling of exhilaration, the little oily deposits on my shins, it all felt so god… But I may have ruined it all.

It wasn’t even my first stupid thing I had done in the relationship, the first was making comparisons to the ex, you know how much smoother the gear change was, how much more padding she had around the seat. That both of you let me wear lycra when we're together, all of which should have really been ringing alarm bells, but being the self guy that I am I refused to listen to the voice and I paid the penalty.

Riding out, our first time, I was so nervous I thought I'd end up doing it all wrong, or the ride wouldn’t be enjoyable for both of us. Questions going through my head like how many riders had it had before? But we both got over the nerves and began to enjoy it.. Then I looked, I saw another bike from behind, and wow… 105's thinking about it makes me drool. Cletus however saw this, and next stop, just as I went to unclip, I couldn’t get my foot out, I panicked, I ripped up, and up, but the foot refused to come out, I began to tilt, more and more, and then with an almighty crash down like a tree falling in the woods, down I came, 2metres onto my hip, on the asphalt, shielding my face my elbow took the rest of the blow, taking with it a fair patch of skin.

I learnt two valuable lessons that day, one never ogle other bikes, (at least in the presence of your own).

Secondly, move your foot to the right to unhook a cleat, not up, if not you look like a complete Bourke. This only gives you the option of writing a bizarre post on your blog about bicycles to try and face some face.

Since our tiff we have made up, we ride every day, and wow can it move… Hopefully in a couple of weeks dad and I can hit the road again.

Thanks for all the good wishes for my father, he is definitely on the mend. Not to mention driving mum nuts:)

2007-05-04T02:58:00.000-07:00

Good evening to all, firstly an apology to all the blogs I haven't visited or visited often this week… It has been crazy, work is bedlam, so no chance to blog there, dad went into hospital on Monday (he is fine more to follow), visiting dad, driving dad, Picking Stace's stuff up from work (4 hours in traffic up and back), I haven't even had a chance for a ride (more to follow), as well as day to day house work etc… well you get the idea.…

The Boeing 777- 200

Length 63.7 m

Wingspan 60.9 m

Height 18.5 m

Seating capacity 300 people

Weight 139,225 Kg

Mass of titanium in construction 58 tonnes

My Father Barry (prototype)

Length 30 cm

Wing span 2m

Height 175 cm

Seating capacity 3 (1 on shoulders, one under each arm)

Weight 75 kg

Mass of titanium in construction 40 g

Titanium, discovered originally as a combination of two metal oxides, in the Cornwal in the UK In the year of 1791.. then again, still as an oxide in Germany in the year 1795 by Martin Heinrich Klaproth naming it for the Titans of Greek mythology.

It was not until an American, by the name of Matthew A Hhunter came along in the year 1910 that we first encountered pure (99.9%) titanium using what is commonly called te hunter process. The young American mixed chlorine and coke (coal, mostly carbon) heated it in excess of 700 degrees to create Titanium Tetrachloride.

TiO₂(s) + 2Cl₂ (g) + C (s) → TiCl₄(l) + CO₂ (g) (thanks to Wikipedia)

The Titanium Tetrachloride is then reduced in the prescence of sodium (electron donor) to produce

TiCl₄(l) + 4Na(l) → 4NaCl(l) + Ti(s)

This is an outdated process but gives a good idea of purification and redox chemistry.

Current chemistry for those still awake

2TiFeO₃ + 7Cl₂ + 6C (900 °C) → 2TiCl₄ + 2FeCl₃ + 6CO

TiCl₄ + 2Mg (1100 °C) → 2MgCl₂ + Ti

The military and transport usages of Titanium were not to come until the cold war, in which soviets first utilised the amazing strength to weight ratio of titanium within their submarine designs.

From there we moved on and found ways of using titanium while not killing one another, particularly Aircraft, space ships, armour plating.. "In fact the titanium 6AL-4V alloy accounts for almost 50% of all alloys used in aircraft applications."

(Borrowed from Wikipedia.)

Due to the high resistance to corrosion titanium also has medical applications, particularly the joint in my father's big toe. Yes the joint has been replaced, dad is looking to make a full recovery and will be back on the bike within 5 weeks (I offered to fit cleats to the surgical boot, it is still being considered) , and we owe it all to that wonderful metal, titanium.

****applauds**** Thanks Titanium

2007-04-28T01:20:00.000-07:00

Hair, hair everywhere
Some have little some have lots
Blue hair, Pink Hair, Polka dots

But there is going to be hell toupee….

Entailed within the following post is the history of a hair-do I like to call The Helmet, a hair-do which grows so rapidly if left unchecked could threaten civilisation as we know it. Yes dear, adoring, blogging public I speak of the messy mop which currently adorns my cranium.

Naturally gifted, the hair started its life head and shoulders above its other appendage rivals, high and mighty it lorded over all it surveyed. And became twisted in the power it beheld, it grew and grew. Bringing with it ridicule for it's wearer, affectionately known as Stack-hat through his high school years, then later known as Grug, named for the hairy little echidna that he was. *

Unlike most hair, the do was not content to grow in length, "any hair could do that" thought the hair, so it made a solemn pledge to never grow to a useful length, but too always become thick and unmanageable to even the strongest of gels and sprays, to boldly grow where no hair has grown before, to never have a consistent colour bleaching in non specific patches giving a genetically altered mouse look. A style years ahead of its time.

The council of Hair dressers, telephone sanitisers, and other miscellaneous middle men convened.

Not Britney Spears------>

"The Hair must be stopped, no matter the cost. We will shave them on the seas and oceans, we shall shave with growing confidence and growing strength in the hair, we shall never surrender no matter what the cost may be." – Wilkinson Swordshill. ***

The offensive lasted all day, the floors covered with hair, the enemy decimated, and receding to the safety of its home land… It had tried many times to escape unnoticed, hiding under, blue, red and Green camouflage, every time it was detected and kept in line with the scissors of peace. It lay, plotting and scheming and awaiting for the chance to rise again.

Today is that day ladies and gentlemen; the hair we have feared is back, thicker and darker than ever. Spreading keratin fuelled mayhem across the blogosphere. But what to do abut it, the old alliances have fallen into disrepair, the telephone sanitisers don’t speak to the hair dressers, (mostly from fear of dirty phones), and no one likes middle men.

I guess this is my way of saying (quite long windedly) that I need a hair cut or a change… Any Ideas?

*side note Dad still to this day calls me Grug.**

** I had a friend with the nick name frosty, due to the snowy peaks of dandruff that occurred on his head, dad still calls him frosty to this day.

*** side note 2: most of Winston Churchill's speeches were written by A A Milne, as in the Author of Winnie the Pooh. "We will fight them on the seas and oceans, Eeyore and Tigger will bring cake for Christopher Robin"
This is Grug, for all those who dont know.

2007-04-20T00:56:00.000-07:00

First and foremost I am really ok…

But I had a brush with death yesterday.. The broomstick of my demise, nearly swept me in to the pan of limbo, into the rubbish bin of eternity amongst the forgotten dust monkeys of history.

Riding my bike along a major road near my home, in the left hand lane (where we drive in Aus) a little bit of speed up, then all of a sudden a car veers from the outside lane, around a car, and into my lane. With an almighty Crack, he clips the side of my bike, which rips the handle bars around, he goes flying past it take all of my strength t right my self before eating concrete, and he keeps driving… I am pretty sure I got his side mirror against my handle bars, I pull off the road.. As the jolt had dislodged the chain, and knocked the bike out of gear… The bike (most importantly) and I are in working condition no lasting damage.

When I got home I started thinking, shouldn’t I have seen life flash before my eyes? Or better yet someone else's, as I've already seen mine. Shouldn’t I be worried about death or trying to change the way I live? The truth is I came home, had a shower, put some more music on my iPod, then did the dishes. No change, no stress, no bad thoughts, a little angry at the PRICK! (sorry) who didn’t stop but that’s it…

I cant remember a time where I have been afraid of death, I have done a thousand stupid things, some of which probably by rights should have landed me in the obituary pages under G… for Gee I am glad that one's gone.

As I have mentioned before I have seen a lot of death in my life, I grew up on a bowling green, my father was a greens keeper, most of my friends as a young man 2-10 where over 80… I thought nothing of having a friend or two die a month that was just the way life was.. People passed on, but they were remembered, for the moments in life that set them apart, a stupid comment, or something ridiculous that happened to them, that could only have happened to them, or perhaps an act of great kindness.

My philosophy is to live your life to the best of your ability, enjoy it, as it is all that there is or will be, enjoy the time you have the connections you make… If you die have no regrets, and give 'em a lot of embarrassing stories to tell at the funeral…

IS it weird to not fear the reaper?

Embarrassing confession

I have actually been "run over" twice in life… the most recent being in London. After 2 and a bit months on the European continent and silly people driving on the wrong side of the road, you get used to looking to the left then the right.. So on return to England, our first crossing, clear left stepped out… Bang, straight into my legs, resulting in some very nasty bruising, a limp for 2 weeks and a frantic (then) fiancé.. A hot chocolate later and she was fine. I how ever didn’t break a sweat..

The first time however I managed to run over my self, upper middle class twit of the year style, riding full pelt on a four wheel motor bike, my leg slipped under, ripped me off and under the bike, and over my legs it went leaving two massive red wheel marks on my legs…. Quite an achievement if I do say so my self.

2007-04-18T02:15:00.000-07:00

I want to show you something

Come with me…. Come with me into a beautiful world, a world without pain, without death, without loss or grief… Even just for a moment forget the horrors of the world and focus on life… Somewhere we lost sight of what it is all about, somewhere along the line we became afraid, instead of enjoying or lives and each other. I want to show you how perfect life can be, what it means to love and show the true beauty of life…

This is Sunday in the perfect world with my beautiful wife in my small but happy apartment, before we saw the horrors life could produce.

Some of the most fantastic moments of my relationship with Stace have been spent in the kitchen, either cooking something to surprise her, or cooking with her, to create a cornucopia of gastronomic splendour; enjoying good food, good wine or ginger beer, and most importantly each other.

Afternoon tea on a lazy weekend, after a morning of hugging, kissing, touching and saying the three words that can hold the world still; we set out to produce an afternoon tea fit for the gods.

Muffins:
2 cups self raising flour
Half a cup white sugar
A mountain of chocolate chips
2 eggs
vanilla essence ( a splash)
Half a cup to a cup of milk.
2 tablespoons of butter (that Stace forgot)

Pre heat the oven to 180 degrees…. Discuss the possible confusion of rotating the over 180 degrees, and the physics of coking on an angle.

Sift flour and sugar together, or get your wife to, while you make a fool out of yourself, singing a modified version of Shinaid O'Connors Nothing compares to you, entitled "muffin compares to you." In a separate bowl let Stace beat milk and eggs together. Add chocolate chips to flour sugar mix….nick a choc chip when wife isn’t looking. Smile with chocolate in your teeth, as innocently as possible.

Combine both bowls and mix thoroughly, this is best achieved when holding your wife from behind as tightly as possible, once mixed spoon into muffin trays, and give the bowl to your husband to lick… Best not to trust him anywhere near chocolate until you are sure you have enough.

Bake for 20 mins. Test with knife, serve with coffee/tea or poison of choice.

After enjoying muffins with lashings of butter and several coffees, and a lengthy stroll to work the fat off dinner is to be decided on… Pizza for preference…

The job of Base making always falls to the husband, as he hold the secret family recipe of the best dough:) containing

Dough:

2 cups of flour
Yeast
2 teaspoons of white sugar
Half a cup of water
Salt
Olive oil
And Oregano (1 teaspoon and a bit)

Preheat oven to 220 degrees

Work up the yeast i.e. put it in a plastic tub, with warm water and sugar, leave covered for 10 minutes, until it becomes brown and frothy…

In a separate bowl add flour, salt, oregano and a splash of olive oil….. mixed worked up yeast mixture in, working it through…. On a floured chopping board kneed the dough until smooth… make a stupid joke… example… "Why did the boy become a baker? Because he kneaded the dough (needed the dough (money)). Smile as a barrage of groans at bad humour fly at you… Leave dough to proof for 10 mins

Chop topping of choice, ham, salami, mushrooms, capsicums, pineapple.

Have a short interlude to explain the 1/R(square) law in terms of a digital flash, then in terms of hearing damage in an iPod.

Create a new invention called the iPatch, watch your wife's beautiful face crack into a smile, and see all the love in the world in her eyes just for you… Think that you are possibly the luckiest man who ever lived.

Get back to the pizza; flatten out the dough into a base, put on greased oven tray bake for 10 mins…. Once baked, cover with pizza tomato sauce, all the ingredients, and then bury in pizza Cheese… bake for an additional 15-20 mins…

Serve in a candle lit room, with home made ginger beer, and Jeff Buckley playing in the background… But most importantly enjoy home made pizza in good company, many laughs, smiles, hugs and kisses.

Thank you for coming along on a short journey into our world, it is easy to loose sight of life in a world surrounded by death, disease, famine and war. Always remember that there are some things truly worth fighting and dying for in life, there are still many beautiful people who enrich our lives… don’t loose sight of that in these darker times.

Aidan

For Keshi: Listening to The Manic Street Preachers- If you Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next.

2007-04-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

All this talk of love and physical activity (not related or with anyone who is related) is probably giving the blog world the wrong impression of my true nature. Sure I ride ridiculous distances, love heavy metals concerts but it's what's inside that counts… And inside me is a man in a cardigan and a bow tie screaming to get out.. This all comes back to a joke I saw in New Scientist ( I swear I only read it for the articles), where a instead of the standard "Wash me" or "If Only my wife was this dirty" written in grime on a white car, some jaded chemist has written "couldn't afford the Titanium Dioxide"…

Amongst much snorting and spilling of ear medication, I had to explain exactly why this was funny… TiO2 is used in many medical instruments, Food preparation surfaces, and air conditioning filters as it is essentially self cleaning. Gunk does not stick to TiO2 in the presence of UV radiation…

It is good to see a university education at work…

Which brings me onto the geekiest bumper sticker I have encountered, in my many years wearing the coke bottle glasses badge of honour… it is best seen to be believed.

/* warning maths and physics ahead*/

First reason this is funny…. It shows an understanding of the Doppler Effect, common example an ambulance siren changes in frequency as it is coming toward and when it is going away from you, the motion of the sound emitter will change the recorded frequency… Emitter moving in the direction of the wave front, the waves contract, and away from the wave from they lengthen… Changing the observed frequency.. see below.

The formula being

Formula.... Velocity of object= (change in Wavelength/initial wavelength)* speed of light (c)

Wavelength of Red Light 700 Nm blue light 400nm

(700*10^-9-400*10^-9/700)C= Velocity of the emitor (or vehicle heading toward)

.42C = Velcoity

.42 of the speed of light.... or .42*1,079,252,848.8 km/h

462536935.2 Km/h
Obviously not driving my Barina. More a combination wheelbarrow and ride of mower than an actual car..

On a side note...just to mess with your head...

Quantum physics at a very basic level… That you cannot go faster than the speed of light Einstein jumps out with a stop sign and says No… This is due to Lorenz contraction. The faster you go the thinner you become (observed from external) as it becomes thinner, density increases, until object --> approaches -->0 in length and density --> Infinity… Therefore an infinite amount of energy would be required to reach the speed of light (in its most basic terms)

See Told you i was a geek

2007-04-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

Memory is an amazing thing, three days ago I sat down to write a long and detailed post about a man I owe so much too, a man who brought me into the world, fed me, clothed me, loved and supported me through out my life, my father..

So I sat down to write; nothing…. I racked my brains, surely I know this man, my father, a hero an inspiration, a voice for social justice and community spirit, but the words failed me… I couldn’t place his face in my mind, so I spouted out weird posts about spell check, made light about riding in the rain, when all the while I wanted to tell the world about the life I have shared and continue to share with dad.

So idly wandering today through the throngs in the local shopping hub, I came across the Easter display and all the amazing memories came flooding back.. The swimming lessons, the bon fires, my first beer (4 ended up giggling for several hours), 30 km bush walks through the Grampians and Halls Gap. It all came down to thinking of a context….

I speak of course of our family tradition of the bourbon bunny, yes the bourbon bunny who stumbles out of the warren once a year to supply bourbon to good boys and girls… Maybe I should back the story up a little…

It was a difficult period in my life, my mother and father were separated, due to certain complications which are omitted here, but it left my father and I to fend for ourselves, over this six months we became very close we talked about everything and built an incredible relationship… However during this time we had to celebrate Easter so my father comes in smiling and hands over a bottle of bourbon, and says "you’re a young man now, I have seen you grow into a man over the last few years and it time to give manly gifts" so sincere and proud of a young man in front of him, I never had the heart to tell him Easter presents are given on the Saturday not the Friday… It made that moment mean so much more, because he got his days mixed up and he thought it was Saturday…

Since then we have walked the overland, 65 km from Lake Sinclair to cradle mountain… on foot. WE have hiked the Bogong High plans, fished all the rivers in Victoria (with and With out rods), been involved in search and rescue, working together to save lives through first aid or rescue, and of course our little bike ride just to name a few..

So tonight, a day before the accidental day before I sit with a bottle of bourbon (vile), and write, about an inspiration, a hero, a best friend, and of course a father…

Thanks for everything dad, I am proud to be your son…

Cheers

P.S: Next year I'm giving you half a days head start, maybe you will keep up:)

2007-04-01T18:56:00.000-07:00

Deer Mr Gates,
Eye wood like two bring too you’re attention the fundamental floor inn you’re Microsoft Word Spell Cheque product… The mane concern is that of it’s inability to two recognize homonyms inn hour daily speech. This particular problem became evident inn my recent sexual discrimination case with the local church.. Instead of typing Hymns spell cheque had failed to pick up Hims, causing much embarrassment to the female parishioners… As ewe may appreciate, the religious community is an open minded and fare group, and this has reflected badly on the parish and its ministry.
Please can ewe pier into this particular issue and make necessary alterations to Anne otherwise sensational product…

Sincerely Aidan

2007-03-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

Image stolen from Staces Blog but it is such an awesome shot...

Welcome back to the 2007 ride to conference brought to you tonight by buryme Cigarettes, try our new kiddybaco… and the Karl Marx Credit card; Share the love and the interest.

Today we have an interesting event, the 114km under water road race, the conditions are perfect for this kind of racing today, with constant rain and slippery roads…. The competitors are up, this year we have a new addition, the first father and son team to complete in such an event, That’s Aidan and Barry in the green.

We are awaiting starter's orders… and they're off, it into the driving rain they go, we are expecting a resounding 27 mm of rain today, already Mount Hotham has had 25 mm… A few of the riders have broken into free style, ones doing the backstroke, yes they are paddling franticly against the torrent, I think I saw one wearing a snorkel….

An announcements been made, one of the silly buggers has forgotten his waterproofs, waiting on confirmation but yes I believe, yes I can confirm, it's Aidan, and he is already soaked t the bone, you can see him at the morning tea, wringing the water out of his shoes and socks, and we have had to turn the cameras away while he wrings out the shirt, not a great image for the weak of heart… The good doctor is coming up to him, and yes, he has handed him a vest, can you believe the human struggle being portrayed here against the elements, he may not turn completely blue after all…..

Back to the ride, they're off for the last remaining 80km now, and it has gotten incredibly hilly out there, 30 degree hills, 3 kilometre climbs, a real test of endurance and stamina, quite a few have gotten on the sad wagon at the back, because the poor old legs have given out, but Aidan, his father and the good doctor have continued on…. Such determination, such single bloody mindedness, they know it will make a difference…

The down hill section is proving difficult as it has been used as a stock trail in the last three days, and the manure is flying, I haven't seen this much bullshit thrown around since the last election. Its flicking back off the tires, yes and Aidan has copped it a giant brown racing stripe is now on the vest… They ride on now for morning tea, the front of the pack it’s the safety car, its pulled in front of the riders, oh the 6 bike pile up, he wants them to make a right turn, down the hill into afternoon tea, and Aidan's losing control the back tire has come right round in the wet, and he just manages to hold it, others hadn’t been quite as fortunate on that hill, one of the best bruised butts, since my time in the naughty hell fire club, the result of that particular hill.. But she will recover.

They are into the final straight now, most are coming across the line looking ragged, the water still pouring off them, sodden to the bone…Quite a few competitors tonight will be straight for the shower and straight to the pub*…

*I fully recommend the BBQ Parma**, just make sure your hungry.

** best served with several icy beers and surrounded by family and friends.

These are my pale little legs hanging out of the bike shorts, and dad's old bike, 24 speed hybrid, beautiful bike, and sensational Granny Gear...

And now a word from our sponsor….

Looking for cheap tubes? Then come see the good doctor he has had a recent increase in stock due to several spectacular blow outs on a charity ride. Two on the bass Hwy one on the hills and one near the beach.. The tires are in spectacular condition easily reusable as they are only flat on one side… Going out for a song…

When you think of cycling think good doctor….

2007-03-26T04:12:00.000-07:00

/* I was struggling to write this particular post, so looked for suggestions for format from the floor the greatest challenge being an instruction manual… so here is*/

How to assemble 65,000 dollars for charity…..

Day one:

Step one: Kiss your beautiful wife for the last time for the week, hold her as she becomes teary, tell her that you love her, and leave before showing too much emotion.

Step two: Taking two large boots, use the pedals in the Automobile (batteries not included) to propel yourself towards the starting position of the event; which also happens to share the same name as a collection of livestock…. Cowes.

Step three: On arrival pour a large amount of concrete into your mattress, as this will provide a more comfortable alternative to cheap hotel mattress. Watch the final on TV (in platinum pack) with your father and the good doctor. Watch until tired, retire to concrete bedding.

Day two:

Step one: Roll out of bed, slide on bike shorts these should fit snugly to produce the maximum size bulge around the groin region, raise arms and lower ride shirt over chest, Ride shirt should be the most gaudy green colour available, one to maximise visibility for passing vehicles, and to make as unattractive as possible to the opposite/same sex.

Step Two: follow your father's directions to the adventure park, the starting location of the adventure, perfectly and end up on the wrong part of the island, call your mother for more accurate instructions, arrive at start point 10 minutes later than expected.

Step three: Saddle up and ride, turn the pedals over for the first 30 kilometres to Grantville for Morning Tea, set a pace of 27 Km per hour (average). Remember to wipe the beads of sweat from your face when required, and keep the fluids up.

Step four: ride on until you reach Warrigal, approximately 104 km from your starting position sometime in the afternoon, attempt to remove bike seat from butt checks, if this cannot be removed don’t worry as it will become lodged again on the next day…

Step five: Kick back at the BBQ sink several beers, retire for the evening, and thank your home hosts for there hospitality, compare their book collection to your own.

Day Three:

Step one: Form up for the ride, if you pretend that your bike shorts don’t smell no one will notice that they still contain the sweat of 104 km from the day before. Head towards the Highway.

Step two: outside of Drouin you should encounter a stretch of road with an incline over a length of road of three kilometres, at approximately a 30 degree angle to the road surface, this should be attacked in a low gear and accompanied by much profanity and sweating.

Step three: Dress one of the exchange students in a 2.5 m high giraffe costume, for Life Education Victoria, ride into the school to the cheers of all the kids, watch as they smile and wave, feel six foot tall and rocket proof for a fleeting moment in your life.

Step four: ride out from the school, ringing your bell like a madman, and back to the highway, continue on for the town of Sale…. Bunk into a cheap caravan park for the night, share in fellowship with the other riders, sink several refreshing ales, down by the Port of sale, over a BBQ with 50 other riders… Sing loudly and proudly, at some point call your wife to say you miss her... Find out she just misses your cooking.

More to follow…. And hopefully dad emails the photos on….

Coming up…. The Tour De Sale bike ride and synchronised swimming event, the good doctor blow-out sale, and the 112 km short cut.

2007-03-15T22:19:00.000-07:00


Well i am off for a about a week i will see you all on my return, very sore and very tired.

Wish me luck

Aidan

I will leave you with the bicycle race by Queen a fitting exit track


Bicycle bicycle bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my bike

I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride it where I like

You say black I say white

You say bark I say bite

You say shark I say hey man

Jaws was never my scene

And I don't like Star Wars

You say Rolls I say Royce

You say God give me a choice

You say Lord I say Christ

I don't believe in Peter Pan

Frankenstein or Superman

All I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my bike

I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my

Bicycle races are coming your way

So forget all your duties oh yeah!

Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today

So look out for those beauties oh yeah

On your marks get set go

Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race

Bicycle bicycle bicyI want to ride my bicycle

Bicycle bicycle bicycle

Bicycle race

You say coke I say caine

You say John I say Wayne

Hot dog I say cool it man

I don't wanna be the President of America

You say smile I say cheese

Cartier I say please

Income tax I say Jesus

I don't wanna be a candidate

For Vietnam or Watergate

Cos all I want to do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my bike

I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride it where I like

2007-03-12T22:32:00.000-07:00

It’s a jungle down there…

Dear Loyal reader(s),

The final phase of any cycling training is of course the most painful…. As Mr Miyagi once said… "Wax on, Wax off" yes ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere before undertaking the ride I must go from this…

To this….

Before you come out with it, this is not a sexual oooh my legs are silky smooth thing, this is a preventative action against the dangers of gravel rash thing… in addition to being a sexual oooh my legs are silky smooth thing… And hopefully I will stand a better chance of winning the upcoming work bikini contest.

My first problem with the waxing is of course the name… Nads wax, it is confusing as to where it is to be applied, and if it means what I think it means in I'm in for some hollering.. In addition everything comes in pink; it is hard to feel manly having your legs waxed.

Gravel rash with hairy legs is a concern, the hairs grow back through the scabs, increasing healing time and greatly increasing the risk of infection, so the preventative actions detailed below are required.

I think the over all process is best described in my ten step plan to hair removal.

Step one: Take a shot
Step two: Open box, read instructions, loose interest in instructions, get confused in what you are doing.
Step three: take a shot, ask wife for help.
Step four: try and convince wife you knew what you were doing all along, and that the trail of wax from the kitchen to the lounge room was there when we moved in.
Step five: Pour hot sticky solution onto legs, take a shot, cover with the fabric hair gripers.
Step six: Rip, in one quick movement, the fabric from the leg.
Step seven: Swear, hop and jump, hide leg from woman with wax, take a shot.
Step eight: allow wife to coax you out of the cupboard with beer.
Step nine: take a shot
Step ten: Repeat until legs are hairless, you run out of booze, you decide waxing your chest is a good idea, or any combination of the above.

Hairlessly yours

Aidan

PS how do women do this all the time?
PPS it is less than a week after this it's straight back on the bike

2007-03-06T19:24:00.001-08:00

Just a short bike ride he said....

Maybe I should take a step back and give a bit more information.... My father a
wonderful and community minded man, not to mention a cycling enthusiast, he sat
me down about a month ago and said.

"Do you want to do a short bike ride for charity?"

The lessen to be learnt for today, if a 67 seven year bike mad father ever says
the phrase short bike ride, turn and run for the hills because it means months
of training, blood sweat and a work synonymous with profanity..... Exercise.

I open the welcome pack forwarded on by email, and the eyes bulge, surely this
is a typo, uming and and arghing whether it is the distance or the phone number
I am staring at it, 700 kilometers, 5 days, the mental maths churning in my
head, that's about 140 kilometers a day... I have been hoodwinked, by a grey
haired Loki of the Bicycle underworld.

Don't get me wrong I am more than willing to do my bit for those in need, and I
am not exactly unfit, I'm 24 and built like a grey hound (after a month of
starvation), but the thought of 700 kms glued to a bike seat did not sound like
fun..

"Dad this bike ride, is there a typo in the heading? There seems to be a couple
of extra 0s after the 7."
"No its 700 hundred last year was a lot shorter, that was only 500.."

So after the shock of the email, my only course of action became clear, I need
to go.....

From This To This

Via this and this

So I bought a pair of bike shorts, (as stated below the only contraceptive to be
made out of lycra), you know the type, the one with the sanitary pad stitched
into the base. Makes you feel like there has been an unfortunate accident,
involving too many prunes. Every day for the last month I have completed a 20 km
(min) bike ride, on an old Malvern star more of an iron oxide deposit than an
actual bike, and approximately 16 kilometers on foot, amongst day to day walking
and fitness. A massive change in diet, moving from the see food diet (I see food
I eat it), to controlled diet fresh fruit and vegetables, and healthy soups. No
fast food, no soft drink, no lollies, or sweet things and a tonne of water
daily. A true health nut for a month. My legs are getting huge and I lost my
puppy fat, I have gone from the one pack to a 4 pack, if I stand up really
straight, and squint:-)

My bottom however is feeling the burn, bruised and batters, and the permanent
impression of a bike seat between the cheeks. Now with only 10 days to go, my
legs march on with much apprehension and dread, in a circular motion toward the
700 kilometers that await.
Despite my complaints and sore muscles it is all in a good cause funds will
support the following...

Romac
Life Education Victoria
Shelter Box
Gippsland Centenary House

Wish me Luck

Keep 'em spinning

Aidan

2007-02-28T16:51:00.000-08:00

A New Start will be back after these brief messages….

Garden over growing with tomatoes? Has one plant taken over half the garden? Too hot to cook anything substantial but your still hungry? Would like to the see that corner of the backyard again?

You need Garden Gazpacho Soup..

Made originally in the sunny climes of Spain now we can bring the taste of the Mediterranean shores to your door step.

As Seen on the hit series "Red Dwarf" when Arnold Rimmer describes the most embarrassing moment in his life, where he in fact, while sitting at the captains table no less, was served a beautiful bowl of gazpacho, which he in turn sent back to the kitchen for being ICE COLD. This he attributes to his failure to become an officer the rest of us realise that it is because he is a Smeg Head.

What you need…

Red onion

3 tomatoes

Cucumber

Capsicum

Olive Oil Splash

Tomato Juice enough to cover everything

Lemon Juice 3^rd of a cup

Garlic about a clove

Hot fresh Buttered bread for a side dish

Firstly chop everything up nice ad small, add to a bowl and mix it all through. Pour tomato juice over the top until all ingredients are covered place in the fridge* then eat. Its that simple, just like playing the lottery, or performing neurosurgery.

And for the special touch if you want her to go all the way, guys you know what I'm talking about, you need its sister product Banana Sunday. Don’t let the name fool you they can be enjoyed anyday… Order Now and you will receive Aidans Greatest romantic meals the cookbook, how to look like you've had years in the kitchen, but are really just taking a stab.

Stocks are limited Order Now

*Leave for 24 hours for best results, management takes no responsibility in the case of catastrophic knife failure, eating too much, or revenge attacks from rogue tomatoes. New start, the words Red and The, are registered trade marks of Aidan Corp (where dreams come true) please note your dreams may differ to those of Aidan Corp and its stock holders.

WE now return you to the usual standard of socialistic clap trap about dream societies without rampant consumerism.

2007-02-22T23:44:00.000-08:00

Five years ago I was a raging rocker… Now I am an aging rocker. Its official I am the pensioner of power chords, a heat pack head banger, the Methuselah of the Mosh pit. Five years ago, I loved hard rock, screaming my prayers to the gods of rock, moshing in perfect depressive sync to bass back bone which drives the crowd, begging for just one more encore. Now on encore number two I wonder why they haven't wrapped it up yet, because the last train leaves in approximately 30 minutes and I have a meeting tomorrow. Five years ago my phone would ring from those I had embarrassed, or impressed the night before, now only my ears ring.

The crowds I once loved seem juvenile, I see young girls wearing Ramones tops, most of which believing it’s a fashion label. Or if they are a "fan", their favourite song is "Hey Ho Lets Go", better known to those of the rock 'n' roll generation as Blitzkrieg Bop. Even the classic "Sheena is a punk rocker" is lost on those who proclaim to be a massive Ramones fan.

I begin to say things like back in my day we had real musicians with artistic integrity, like the Smashing Pumpkins, Stabbing Westward, Marylin Manson, Sick Puppies, and Sevendust… I mention the pumpkins, "sorry I don’t like classical music". Even roadies in my day were better, now they wear belts, cant even see the arse crack, and don’t even get me started on the absence of beer guts in modern music…

Bands that I knew and loved grew old, all of a sudden the Beasty Boys are forty on tour away from wives and children singing "you gotta fight, for your right to party" although "you got to fight for your right to invite a small number of your friends around for quiet drinks" never was going to have the same appeal.

Other bands that remain have sold their souls to the commercial music industry, the best example being The Offspring…

From this awesome number, called Jennifer Lost the War..

"Phoebe lost the war today
There must be some mistake
Say it happens all the time
And it's said and done
Little Miss 15 65 Your soul remains unclaimed
Guess you must have really sinned

Morality won't help her
When she lies silent in a morgue
And all our sorrows left her
But will the morning headlines
Even say that it's a shame
What are we headin' for?"

To this original prankster….

Knock down the walls, it's alive in you
Knock down the place, you're alone it's true
Knock down the world, it's alive in you
You gotta keep your head up through it all
You're gonna
Bust out on it - original prankster
Break out yeah - original yeah
Bust out on it - original prankster
You never stop now, stop now
That's what the main man say

The fashions changed too, my Rocksedo has faded grey, my black jeans a ghost of their former selves, stained with the passion of hundreds of concerts, and the sweat of legions of fans, my black shirt ripped and torn, from the legion of arms of those grappling for a touch of a Rock God; but at least they still fit.

This year is promising to be a big year for me concert wise, I saw Vasco Era, and Howling Bells on Wednesday, I have Regurgitator on Sunday, Reel Big Fish in April.. They are nothing compared to the big one; NINE INCH NAILS are coming back to Melbourne, I bought my tickets this morning, and I feel like a kid again or at least an immature 18 year old… Hopefully I have a few more gigs left in me, but as I always say, and it applies to the fans

"When the ramp is no longer just for the equipment it's time to walk away"

I will always love the music, amazing lyrics, which make me shudder, which make me feel alive. Songs that have reached out when I needed someone, or something to carry on, Reznor who showed me it was ok to be angry or lost, Manson who said being different is cool, Chris Hall who touched my soul with his words, Jeff Martin whose voice and lyrics make my skin prick. They will always be in my life.

" There are so many things

We need so desperately
And the TV preaches
We can't live without them
You tell me what is neat
I'll tell ya what I believe
If I ever were without it
Then I'd be worthless

'Cause you are everything
The only thing that matters
You are everything
The only thing that I need
You are everything
The only thing that matters
Yes you are everything
You are the air I breathe"

Stabbing Westward- The only thing

2007-02-17T20:48:00.000-08:00

It is currently 37 ( 310K) degrees in down town Melbourne…. This heat is causing a high degree of writers block. Who can think of a witty, mature and coherent topic when the puddles of the city are 40% of the way to boiling? Questioning ones existence while pulling your sweat soaked underpants out of your butt crack seems somewhat incongruous.

Maybe I sweat therefore I am… Am I truly stuck to the leather couch, can I trust the perception of hearing the sucky noise as I pull away to fetch another stout is truly what I am hearing? Or is this just the way my mind perceives it.

How about a maths post? The difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius, and why any one would have water boiling at 32 degrees. Or the Kelvin scale and the impossibility of absolute zero, as no temperature would imply no movement, no movement would mean no mass, therefore impossible to reduce the temperature of any substance (as it has mass) to absolute zero.

Perhaps I could write a long and detailed view of the effects of sweat the function and operation of sweat glands. Or compile a list of those that don’t have them. Or the effects of Apocrine Sweat glands when coupled with a pair of bike shorts (The only contraceptive made from Lycra) the break down of the fatty material by bacteria in the particular region. (aka teenage male smell no mater how much deodorant they use they still smell) .

Or maybe a look at my personal favourite sweat gland, the Eccrine sweat glands, which pump gallons of salty, watery material all over your body, effectively cooling via loss of energy in evaporation, particularly latent heat of evaporation. It takes energy to change state, this energy input does not correspond to a change in temp, this energy is called latent heat… When changing from a liquid (sweat) to vapour (water vapour) heat energy from the skin is utilised, changes the state and as a result we feel cooler (could have fooled me) due to a reduction of heat energy.

Stuff it! I think I will just grab a beer and sit in front of the air conditioner… I wonder how it works?

2007-02-16T14:12:00.000-08:00

It is official i am now a GLOGGER.... so far so good, no major crashes, or small fires...
Wish me luck with the my first serious post...

2007-02-13T01:06:00.000-08:00

I know this is cowardly way to end this, public anonymous forum in front of faceless strangers, but as the song goes; I am in fact tempted by the fruit of another. It has been a great relationship; don’t get me wrong we worked so well together over 3 or 4 years, but we are drifting a part. With any long term relationship after a while you crave something exciting and something new. Something which suits the new you… And that’s why I must say good bye, I am sorry determinism I have started a relationship with existentialism…

"come on now don’t look at me like that, I know we will always be friends, remember the time I used to you to explain that criminals are merely a victim of circumstances, and everyone laughed at us?' " fun time fun times." Or when I tried to explain that playing mouse trap actually made you a god? Those times are gone, but we will always have the memories."

Why the change of heart I hear you ask? I guess it’s the little things, I see too many people hiding behind their circumstances; the world is against me, I cant win in an all male world, anyone that says you're paranoid is in on the plot. You were a comfort zone, somewhere I could hide, I was not responsible for my choices when I was with you, sure it may be a factors and influences, but you have to accept I can make my own choices now, more importantly I can be held accountable. Nature and Nurture sure there is a level of that, sure poverty increases crime but there is still the choice between "Right" and "Wrong".
Moral evil and determinism

Yes I know it ties in well with a remote and uncaring god via the causa prima arguments, but what of causa Sui, what about self respect, what about self discipline and control. I have lived by these why do you expect me not to expect the same of others.
What is Causa Prima

I know it hurts, but I am seeing people are responsible for their problems, debt especially, laziness and compliance drives these people, the path of least resistance, they can make an effort but only in an emergency. Why don’t they take control of there own lives?

Yes determinism its over, I promise I'll call you, hey we can even have coffee like we used to when I was at university. Ill think of you always..

The free moral agent

Aidan

2007-02-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

Please note *** indicates audience participation required, if you don’t do it ill know.

This could mean only one thing, either the power bill hasn’t been paid or it is time for another instalment of Super Fiancé. Brought to you tonight by Ping golf supplies; the golf supplies named by a radar.

Look on the floor it’s a sponge, it's a mop…… No its super fiancé oops sorry Husband….Mild mannered consumer finance consultant and blogger extraordinaire by day….

Super grime fighter by night, in our last episode super husband had fought off the evil doctor Dentro and all was well in marriage land, its inhabitants happy living in wedded bliss. However in a fabric wholesaler far far away…***dun dun dun***

The evil Bruno Bad-Day ***boo*** sits and plots against Super husbands Beautiful and Intelligent wife. "And more horrible customer minions are coming your way," he screeches as he send wave after wave of unthinking minions poised to trample even the highest of spirits. Bruno laughs at the thought of the helpless vixen, ahem victim trapped under mountains of tedious paper work. " Never again will you see the enjoyment again" and he cackles to himself.***MWAH HA HA HA***

Meanwhile in the husband hovel…. The alarm screeches in to the night like the forced laughs of art house movie patrons, "What ho? A Foe" he cries out from behind the Ironing. "to the fiancé mobile" ***POW***And epic fight scene breaks out amongst the world of consumers ending in the untimely demise of Bruno bad-day in a freak snow mobile accident (which is of very little interest). The damage however is done, His wife sad and flat and in desperate need of help. ***GASP****

This calls for immediate romance…. *** awww*** He dives into the nearest cupboard and becomes Super Husband.***wolf whistle*** Only with his magical white tie and serving cloth, is he able to bring the beautiful Stacy back around, The protective ring of fire is set around the table to resemble two pin points of light, mood music to defend from the any unaccounted for complaints, non alcoholic wine and food because even superheros get hungry.

The meal is consumed, alas she is yet to recover only one thing can save her, an acient recipe pass on through the generations of super husbands, I speak of course of caramelised bananas, served a top of creamy vanilla ice cream, it is a last effort all the hopes of our young hero rest upon this chance…***silent nervous pause***

Success ***cheering***…. The gorgeous Stacy is happy once more and peace is returned to marriage land, much celebrating and rubbing of backs and feet ensued…

Yes the world was safe but for how long?*** look worried***

IN the next episode, cleaning the hair out of the sink, in which our hero reclaims the bathroom from the invading beauty products… Old questions will be answers and new answers will be questioned in the next exciting tale of SUPER HUSBAND.
***standing ovation*** **** take up golf***
back issue available here

2007-02-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

A room with a brew, and that’s the yeast of my troubles.

It was standard weekend in the home of Stacy and Aidan, Saturday; Russian courses, a date in the city for coffee and then something a bit stronger afterwards, Sunday; late fees on videos, bopping to Beatle’s CDs, culminating in the creation of the best loaf of bread known to man. Yes we took the next step in throwing off the shackles of consumerism by making our own bread. No bread makers, no videos, just a happy couple laughing, mixing and baking, and finally ending with the spoils of the conflict smeared with the yeasty goodness of vegemite and piping hot green tea.

Over the last six months we have made an effort to live a simpler life, not fully intentionally granted, but bringing much warmth into the house.. There is always dinner on the table for whom ever comes in last. Happy meals cooked with love and fresh food, reducing the processing and unnecessary preservatives (salt excluded), everything from veggie burritos, to lasagnes, to soups of all varieties, stir fries, and of course my world famous caramelised bananas. The most recent addition to the happy recipe book of our lives is our own stout.

It is official I am the luckiest man on earth as the male fantasy of living in a brewery with a beautiful buxom blonde has become a reality. Not since my student days has the nectar of the gods flown so freely in my home, with its gorgeous dark colour, pristine white foamy head, and viscous trails running down my throat. Please note always drink responsibly and if you are going to wear a lampshade don’t let anyone get a photo.

You may ask, to what do I owe this great honour? What has given the greatest gift of all? Not the gods, but much, much smaller, I speak of course of that amazing Eukaryote Saccharomyces cerevisiae, better known to the rest of us as Brewers Yeast.

Fermentation: Ethanol (CH3CH2OH) is produced as a by product of yeast glycolysis, under anerobic conditions… The yeast breaks down Glucose, fructose, (sugars), to create adenosine triphospahte ATP, the energy currency of the cell. The pathway is incredably long and complicated so it is much easier to give a qualitative view of the process… I am sure I can find one of old study posters if anyone wants further info.

The pathway is well shown here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glycolysis which leads on the aerobic metabolism, via mitachondria very interesting but has nothing to do with beer.

Overall:
Glucose C6H12O6à 2* pyruvate + 2*ATP + 2 CO2
In production of ATP two molecules of NADH are produced from the oxidation of NAD+ . To reclaim the very usefull NAD+ for further energy generation, the cells ferment the pyruvate to ethanol; and you though they did it just for us.

A very similar process occurs in the body in which pyruvate is fermented through to lactic acid, It would be a lot more interesting if the same pathways of NAD+ regeneration occurred in the body, go for a run feel drunk for the remainder of the day, but as always I digress.
The result as long as the the tub is air tight is alcoholic fermentation, further fermentation occurs after bottling with the priming sugar to create disolved CO2, for that frothy finish. If the Tub leaks it tastes like fruit salad and vegemeite, student beer.

The long and the short of it, I have a beautiful wife, I live on fresh hot bread, home grown tomatos, home cooked meals and superb stout. The down side is my wife now has a taste for stout and I have to share. Life is great.

2007-02-01T17:50:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a couple of weeks since I last mentioned the word BALLS on this blog, and this is a post about the other kind of balls. A change from the small glass ones that tell the temperature, this set of balls we have all seen, some of us have seen more of these balls than others, but I am not here to pass judgement.

I speak of course (of course they cry) of Tattslotto (major Australian lottery).. As the Australians in the audience will know there was the nine million dollar super draw on Thursday; and no this is not a post to say hey I won, compare your lives to mine and cry. This is a Maths Post.

With a spare 10 mins on an idle Thursday I set my self the task of working out the odds against taking out the "big one" … To win you need to correctly select 5 out of the 5 balls drawn from a pool of 45, and then one ball from one out of the 45 in the Powerball bucket.

Odds on the first ball… 1 chance in 45
Odds on the second….. 1 chance in 44 (one ball less as previous ball removed from draw)
Odds on the third…. 1 chance in 43
Odds on the fourth…. 1 chance in 42
Odds on the fifth…. 1 chance in 41

The odds of drawing all balls (regardless of order) can be found by…

One in forty five * One in forty four * One in forty three * One in forty two * One in forty one

Or 1/ (45*44*43*42*41)

Equal to
1/ 146,611,080 one chance in one hundred and forty six million (and a bit)…. Still got that lucky feeling. To further stack the odds we still require the "powerball" the odds of drawing the power ball are an additional 1 in 45 chance..
therefore the odds of all five numbers plus the power ball are given by

(1/ (45*44*43*42*41))* (1/45)

Which equals the staggering

6,597,498,600
One in six billion (and a bit) chance of winning.. The current population estimate 6,552,533,873, if every member of the human race was given a single combination there would still only a 99% chance that someone of the human race would hold the winning combination…

Sometimes I wonder about humanity, is this the hope we have left, a one in 6,597,498,600 that we may be happy and afford every we are told we cant live with out.

2007-01-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

In my dreams I see a beach, it is night time, I can see a few paces in front but from there it all fades to darkness. In front of me I see a trail made of foot prints stretching into the darkness, glowing silver as if lit by the moon, the outline glowing against the darkness. I take a step it lands in the pre made foot print in front, every step lands, as if guided by some unseen force into the pre existing foot steps. I try and hold my feet in position not take that next step but I am pushed on, I reach for the sand to slow the momentum, my actions; futile, the steps must continue on. Every step I take is inevitable and leading inescapably into the ominous darkness.

Please forgive my flair for the melodramatic; however two days ago I was struck with the thought as if for the first time… One day I will grow old and One day I will die. I picture my death bed confession, of social upheaval and the destruction of consumerism at my hand. Then reality kicks in and it will be more along the lines of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

The stupidest part of it all, was what brought the thought on, something so simple. I saw my mother and fathers wedding photo next to the photo of Stace and I on our wedding day. From there I saw a cycle, another life moving forward, the other life slowing down. Eventually my life will slow down, one day my life will end, all that will be left are photos, bizarre blog posts, and my organs transplanted into those who need them.

I have discussed absurdity previously but I see with a whole new clarity, why live why fight for ideals, if one day all that remains is dust. Yet my resolve is strengthened for the same reasons. One day I won't be here to fight, one day only the memories of the fight will remain. All that I loved will one day cease to be.

Live your life, make your obituary as interesting as possible, one day they may even remember that you were here.

2007-01-21T21:18:00.000-08:00

To whom it may concern,
I am writing this letter as an open resignation from the real world. Please find enclosed the following items, My IPOD, credit cards, and designer underwear. I have found a better position, through a secret portal in my cupboard, to a world full of magic and wonder. With better conditions and better defined boundaries.

In this world it is easy to pick the heroes as they are dressed in white and the villains as they have beards, are followed by sinister music and have shifty eye movements. In our world there are no heroes just people surviving doing what must be done.

In my new world evil is always defeated and the principles of friendship are held in the highest of esteem. Exploitation is only done by the ones with the beards, and those of noble descent truly care for their subordinates. There is no commercialism and people are happy to just spend time with family, money has less value than a beer with your friends in an inn.

The language is simple as long as you remember to add an e on the end of most words. The position is a lot more exciting than my old job in finance, as I get to work with a more diverse section of the community elves, dwarves, wizards, gnomes, and goblins. In addition to meeting new and interesting people I get to quest for damsels in distress on a regular basis, fighting over hill and dale, against a plethora of evil for which I am thanked.

I wish you all the best with the petty squabbles of your common ancestry and hope you can find someone to fill my position as good natured door mat.

Yours sincerely
Aidan

2007-01-15T23:03:00.000-08:00

Such a complete balls up. It is really making me testy. Actually it is driving me nuts to say the least.

I have some bad news to share with the Blogging community; yes today my balls dropped.
It hit 40 degrees and the brightly coloured balls of the Galilean Thermometer are at an all time low. The principles of the Galilean Thermometer took a while to work out. I assumed that it would work on density expansion and contraction of the liquid leading the rise and fall of the balls. It took me a whole three days to get my head around it. Stace will attest to my outburst the other day.

The following story is true only the characters, locations and words have been changed because I can't remember exactly what happened...

Act One Scene one
Enter: Aidan the hero of the play and his beautiful and buxom wife Stacy.

Stacy: 22 across Tatting is back in olde Calcutta
Aidan: (Yelling) the density of the surrounding fluid.
Stacy: huh?
Aidan: The Thermometer, I know how it works. Change the density of the fluid it is all suspended in.. not the balls. I am an idiot.
Stace: Lace
Aidan huh?
Stace 22 across is lace
Aidan: I am glad we had this conversation.

The principals of buoyancy.
Buoyancy is an upwards force generated by the displacement of a fluid. (ever wondered why ships weights are given in displacement?) Buoyancy will be driven by two factors the volume of the object (balls) and the density of the fluid (what they are floating in).

Analogy: a hot air balloon, as we all know hot air rises, ( if you believe this you will believe anything, hot air does not, contrary to popular opinion have the ability to levitate, it is merely displaced by the cooler denser air.) it is "rising" due to the surrounding medium being significantly cooler (denser) than the air contained within the balloon. Less dense goes up… Now lets keep the density in the balloon the same and change the background (the air around)…. If we reduce the density to such a level that the surrounding air is less dense than that of the balloon the balloon will descend. Are you with me so far? In this analogy you can see the back ground responsible for the fall of the balloon.

Galilean Thermometer: Each ball in the solution has the exact same shape and displaces the same amount of fluid… however contained in each ball is a different weight of coloured liquid. The weight force (downward) remains constant for each of the coloured balls. Each of these are kept afloat by buoyancy… As the temperature increases the density of the surrounding fluid decreases, and therefore the amount of fluid displaced decreases. As a result of the reduction of fluid displacement the net upward force is reduced (less buoyant), the force becomes a net downward force (weight (down force) > buoyancy (upforce)) and the ball sinks. Simple.

2007-01-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

In the darkest of times there have always been heroes. Lancelot in the dark
ages, Joan of Arc against the English, people who have always shined through and
been a example of times of peril. Their acts Selfless and noble, fighting for a
cause that they believed in. As we progressed so did our heroes, war created
heroes to bring hope to soldiers facing overwhelming odds, the socialist agenda
created those who would sacrifice a life filled with wanton hedonism: to better
the human race through science (Watson & Crick, Blaise Pascal, Isaac Newton, and
big Papa E), or social progress (Mother Teresa, Bill Gates) or both (Fred
Hollows).

Then along came the action figure; heroes immoratalised in plastic...
Plastic versions of our great heroes, the selfless acts of GI Joe defending the
free world from Communism and sharing. Barbie Dolls showing the young women of
our generation that even the blondest and biggest breasted could still be
doctors and Lawyers. We could recreate adventures and feelings of hope, we could
prove to the prosthetic world that there was a little hero in all of us, and the
forces of evil were no match for our spring loaded Weapons of Mass destruction.

Now our heroes side with the enemy. The biggest offender is of course the Bratz
doll. Selfless acts replaced with consumerism. A compliant consumer, looking the
same as all her friends, with no greater aspirations than to look pretty and
purchase happiness. Gone are acts of bravery; gone are acts of kindness to make
the world a better place. We are left with Bimbos whose sole purpose is too look
like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and consume like everyone else. IS
this the role model we should be giving our youth?

My favorite action figure: The Albert Einstein doll comes with action cardigan
and chalk to fight the forces of calculus. I have a strange feeling that Albert
has been assembled from other products, a troll doll head and the body of a Ken
doll that had let itself go. This is the role model we should give our kids.

Albert Einstein March 14 1879- April 18 1955.
Nobel prize recipient in 1921 for physics, and best known for the theory
E=MC2*(super script and blogger don't mix)
*Better known as Einstein went to the Moscow Circus Twice.*

Which relates energy and mass in the universe and explains how energy is
transferred in nuclear Fission reactions... small loss of mass = heap of energy
due to the speed of light square.

This may also explain why Second hand bookshops become a black hole which no
book can escape.. Knowledge=power=energy=Mass.... Mass distorts the region of
space-time and attracts more matter. Hence why second hand bookshops
(collection of knowlege) take great lengths (cracked floors, dimly lit, and
dank) to not actually sell any books, as it may adversely effect the space-time
continuum.

We are in times of turmoil.... a world of apathy and selfishness. Our world is
slowly destroying itself, evil runs unchecked, people cry out in the night but
no one comes to their aid. The heroes of old are dead and gone, leaving only a
memory of times in which we had hope, now we know there is none left. We need a
new hero; a hero who shrugs off consumerism, who is happy to wear non designer,
who questions everything, who is not content just to watch the world destroy
itself... If he existed would the masses even listen.

Solution: The bureaucrat action figure; more powerful than an electric stapler,
able to chop red tape in a single swipe, equipped with a bullshit awareness
sensor... someone who could reform the system a give us hope once again.

Until then, I will continue to play with Albert and his bizarre love triangle
with Barbie and her open-minded twin sister.

2007-01-06T19:18:00.000-08:00

My first actual non list orientated post for the year… I had started on a lengthy rant on the dangers on consumerism and its relation to the Albert Einstein action figure on my bench. However, given my tendencies to follow a random tangent at any given opportunity it became a post of my first romantic deed for the year…

/* warning MUSHINESS to follow*/

Breakfast in bed: an easy option to impress the one you love, something simple such as toast or cereal served on a tray, flowers and Tea from Raffles tea room (Singapore).. delivered by scantily clad waiter with a dint in his chest.. (Aside: I have a deformed sternum it is sunk nearly 6cm from my ribs and applies pressure to my lungs)..

So the scene is set the woman awaits patiently unknowing of the delicious cornucopia of gastronomic splendour that awaits her. Until the phone rings, she is out of bed, she up, and decides to shower. Breakfast in bed and impromptu romance is destroyed…

As it is said "If Mohammad wont go to the mountain, the mountain must come to Mohammad."

If my wife wont go to the bed, the bed must be reassembled around the dining table.

Breakfast in bed without the bed....

What a great start to 2007, I am young, alive and I have an incredibly beautiful wife who I love more than anything else in the world. This is shaping up to be a great year for the both of us.

2007-01-02T02:43:00.000-08:00

The bloody unbelievable Aidan's unpredictable predictions for 2007-01-02

Politics

1. America will bomb another place half of their population can't find on the map and the other half can not pronounce.

2. Australia will help in the interest of "national security".

3.The citizenship test will be implemented.

4. All free thinking Australians will fail.

5. John Howard will move the last foot, and disappear entirely up George Bush's Arse.

Celebrities

1. Britney will remarry

2. Britney will divorce

3. One and two will happen again.

4 A someone will come forward claiming to be the only man not to sleep with Paris Hilton

5. No one will believe him.

6. Dan Brown will photocopy another best seller.

Stars and Weather.

1. The drought will break in march.

2. A comet will destroy Canberra

3. No one will notice.

Personal.

1 I will write at least one concise blog entry with some kind of relevance to society or the world at large.

2. it will be accidentally deleted.

3. I will draw ever closer to my schemes of world domination.

General…

1. The world will continue to turn. We will horde the resources that could make the world a better place, and ignore the pleas of those who need us the most. We (as a race) will remain, as always self absorbed and driven by consumerism. I guess not that much has changed since last year.

2006-12-26T15:15:00.000-08:00

I owe I owe it's off to work i go.

A day of celebration in Australia today as Shane “Warnie” Warne took his 700th test wicket, the ashes are ours after a long 12 months, and Australia is now at 150%….

Yes that’s right we have finally, after years of trying, hit ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY percent. Retailers are celebrating nation wide like a drunken bowler with a cricket stump, as our debt to income ratio sits happily at 150%. Making us the highest debt to income ratio in the world…

Before you go “oh no finance and numbers post”, I am going to keep it simple.. Put bluntly for every 10 dollars that you earn, you are borrowing 15 dollars.. The “Aussie” dream of owning your own home, as shown in the Castle. Is quickly becoming the Aussie nightmare as personal debt spirals out of control.. On average Australians have 4 (up to 12 maxed is not that uncommon) credit cards and will regularly payout one card with another transferring the debt across…. To see the state of Australian Debt do a search on seek for debt collection positions, 333 current vacancies. Adds constantly for consolidation we are in trouble to say the least.. Working with debt has opened my eyes, seeing up to 20000 dollars revolved at 25 % interest but they still try to borrow more..

What is creating this cycle of debt? Why are we driven to consume? What do we get from it? Is it our culture?

“There are so many things we need so desperately and the TV preaches that we cant live with out them” –TV - Chris Hall – Stabbing Westward. Very true though, every day we are shown images of people happier than us, they look like us, but they have product X , the logical inference is that Product X is causing the opiate release. Maybe it is status, like the magpie, hording many coloured objects to show our wealth and attract a mate… Many objects = great success = better to sleep with.

Finance is available for those incapable of saving, interest free terms buy now pay nothing for 12 months, only 20% of consumers pay this off the rest revolve at 27- 30%… with no real idea of what they are getting into. Gimmicks and marketing hide the truth that it is DEBT! Which in my opinion is not a good idea. Should they read the fine print, yes, should it be intentionally misleading, No.

Government? The Australian Government has actively encouraged debt to fight rising inflation, similar to that of America in the 60s and 70s (a major contribution to third world debt). Australian Government in the face of insane inflation began the home buyers grants 10,000 dollars to buy the first home, marketed as the Aussie dream huge debt was generated and the inflation dropped. In response to falling inflation interest rate goes up. The dream falls apart.

Irresponsible lending? Credit cards, personal loans, store cards all available at the click of a button confirming the most basic of financial details. Income and out going, age and outstanding debt (only on cards). No details to see if someone could really afford it. How about IQ and personality test? Are they smart enough to use a credit card? Will you understand a credit contract? Are you a shop-a-holic? Are you genetically predisposed to spending? Statements are misleading asking for minimum monthly payments, the way to avoid interest and get out of debt is hidden. The money is shown to be your own, “your available credit is” its your card, personalised cards. The terms and conditions are long and drawn out, we think of it as our card. Somehow they convinced us that debt was cool. My suggestion is that terms and conditions need to be as bright and colour full as the adds for the card.. Make people interested in what it means to have a card, how it all works, how interest is applied.

Where do you draw the line between corporate, government and personal responsibility? Are smokers responsible for their cancer, when the dangers of smoking were hidden for so long? Are consumers responsible if they are forced into a toxic environment?

2006-12-19T02:03:00.000-08:00

Ho Ho Homophobia

My sincerest apologies for the lack of posts of late, but the weight of the holiday season is upon us and with it old fears and anxieties raise their heads. It is with great fear and trepidation that I write this post baring my soul and fears most dark to the world. The illusion of the fearless blogger in search of truth; who laughs in the face of danger, who tweaks the nose of terror, has been shattered. I have handled snakes, jumped from helicopters, been in rooms with no oxygen pumped full of noxious gases, I have seen death in all its forms. Nothing of the afore mentioned has filled me with the terrors most foul of the December months…..

I talk of course of Santa Claus… As early as I can remember I have always been scared of Santa, my earliest photos of myself crying in horror as I am forced to endure the endless questioning of my wants and desires until my parents snatched me from his vile clutches. Even now as I approach my 25th year upon the earth the image of the jolly fat man still fills my soul with fear of unimaginable terror.

What is it about the fat man with the midget fetish that I find most horrifying? I believe it comes from the song entitled "Santa Claus is coming to town" and I quote…
"he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake" – Surely I am not the only sensible being to find this sentiment creepy. If it was anyone else you would take out a restraining order. In addition the song indicates a general air of menace. "He knows if you have been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake" as the penalty is so horrible it is omitted from the lyrics.

I remember as a young fellow setting traps for Santa involving an elaborate series of trip wires placed around the fireplace, coupled with an alarm made of falling marbles into an echoing tin can. But despite my best efforts the beast eluded me, however I did manage to cause significant bruising to my mothers shins with one of the wires that had less give than I thought it did.

To combat this phobia I was forced to face my fears at 17 years of age, my parents made me dress as Santa and lure small children with candy to various forms of Christmas marketing… I believe I still hold the record for the skinniest Santa ever.
As explained by my father
"due to recent medical complications Santa has had to lose weight, the triple by-pass has led to a dramatic decrease in the cookie intake of Santa's diet. " but this was to no avail, I continued to avoid Santa in all shopping centres.

As we approach the 25th preparations are being made: roof to reindeer missiles are being installed, the chimney has been blocked to prevent the annual break and enter in the name of generosity, and we are at elf alert 5 at all sections of the building. Only a few more days remain of avoiding Santa, until we are forced to suffer the easter bunny; that how ever is another tale.

2006-12-07T20:32:00.000-08:00

After lengthy reading of Bill Bryson's The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid has lead me to also reminisce of my own child hood and the stupid moments in growing up… entitled flight, projectile motion and dislocated shoulders…

Science was always a big part of growing up: how did things work, could I reproduce similar results from experiments and TV shows I had encountered? This lead to the fascination with flight…

What I wanted to happen:

How lift is produced. In hind sight this was the information a child needed to reduce the danger from homemade hang glider injuries.

Lift is produced by an aerofoil. You will notice the odd shape of the aerofoil: it is curved on the top surface and flat on the bottom surface. This is used to exploit a difference in air pressure as follows… Analogy: picture a running track, you are running next to your friend. If the two tracks were the same distance you would have to run at the same speed to arrive at the finish at the same time.

Now we lengthen one track by curving it outwards. Two runners start at the same position and must cross the finish line at the same time… In order for both runners to arrive at the same time the runner with the longer track must run at a faster pace, to cover the longer distance.

Under pressure (also an awesome track by queen). Pressure, in ley terms, is the amount of collisions per molecule per second on a surface. Air pressure is no different if you compress gas molecules you reduce volume and increase the number of collisions with the side of the container. Now if we pass a gas over a surface, very slowly we get a lot of collisions and a lot of pressure or quickly a few glancing blows and a low pressure.

It we apply this to our running track, on the longer track the molecules move faster therefore low pressure (few collisions). On the shorter track air moves slowly, more pressure (More collisions). Put the shorter track to the bottom of the wing. More pressure below than above, net upward movement, and therefore lift is generated.

What actually happened…
Projectile motion:

Throw a ball straight out in front of you, what happens? The ball takes a curved trajectory to the ground.

Now picture a 12 foot high retaining wall with a young man running full pelt (approx 12 km an hour) off the top of it, strapped to his back two large white shopping bags and length of wood, of a 3 meter wing span…
Time for some maths….

We need:
acceleration due to gravity 9.8 ms-2
Initial velocity in ms-1 12km equals 3.3 ms-1
Height in meters 4m (approx)
Ignoring the following
Air resistance
Number of poles from the near by veranda the wings clipped rotating our hero through 720 degrees bringing the shoulder more forward of its previous position.

Over to Newton..

The time to fall 4 meters will be given by the formula…

H= ut +.5aT^2 where h is equal to height (4m), u is the initial downwards velocity 0, a is the acceleration due to gravity 9.8 ms-2 and T is the time taken to fall.

To fall 4m

4=0t +.5(9.8)T^2
4=4.9t^2
t=0.9 seconds
(funny it felt a lot longer)

The distance covered on land will be given by

Ut=d where d is the distance travelled horizontally, u is the initial (unchanging) velocity and t the time taken to do so.

D= 3.3*.9
2.97 meters flight distance, slightly shorter than needed for the Atlantic crossing.

In short, 4 meters down 3 meters horizontal clipped a post on a veranda turned through 720 degrees and nearly popped out my shoulder. Realised that two shopping bags and a plank of wood was not a suitable substitute for a glider. Found, however, that 6 bags and jumping from a tree could act as a parachute as long as I landed on a mate's sister to cushion the landing.

2006-12-05T02:23:00.000-08:00

4-[4-(4-chlorophenyl)- 4-hydroxy-1-piperidyl]- N,N-dimethyl- 2,2-diphenyl-butanamide

Loperamide the active ingredient in almost all anti diarrhoea products such as immodium and gastro stop. It is an opioid with reacts in an agonistic fashion within the myentric plexus within the large intestine. On binding it reacts to reduce the amount of intestinal motility via a protein kinase cascade. Reducing the amount of movement in the intestine allows the faecal material to shed large amounts of water and allows the material to solidify reducing the risk of dehydration. reducing movement can also help to stem nausea, reduce vomiting.

This is possibly one of the most useful drugs in human history allowing people all over the world the ability to go to work, get on aircraft and enjoy a honeymoon, without the embarrassment of diarrhoea.

However once your wife passes out on an aircraft on arrival at Singapore, looking pale, there is only one real option. Hospital and cancel the flight.

Ladies, gentlemen and Homo Escapeons, we did not make it to South Africa, a few less baboons got counted. But we managed to salvage what could have been a disaster into a few amazing days in Singapore, enjoying the food (black pepper crab), the people(my brother in-laws gf is a local and played tour guide), the world class zoos (we even saw baboons) and the amazing specials on; well everything (50 Singapore dollars 1 gig memory card).

We are now back home alive and well, and are now playing the happy couple, setting up house buying furniture, cutlery and a new dinner set with all the gift vouchers we received.

My fathers advice to me on the wedding day was...

"Son on the first night you are asked to do dishes as man and wife, drop two of the most expensive dishes you own and you will never be asked to do them again. Never do anything well you do not wish to do again."
I am sure stace over heard this as the new set is nearly an inch think stone ware, but the black and purple looks awesome.. Dad's advice also concerns me as I am also (biological) an only child... hrmmm.

2006-11-24T13:25:00.000-08:00

I am getting married in approximately 6 hours, so this will be my final post as a single man. I thank everyone for there kind thoughts, and please have a beer for Stace and I tonight.

Toot Toot Chugga Chugga Big Red Car- By The Wiggles

1 Toot Toot chugga chugga big red car
well travel near and well travel far
toot toot chugga chugga big red car were gunna ride the whole day long!

Murrys in the back seat playing his guitar.
5 Murrys in the back seat of the big red car.
toot toot chugga chugga big red car
well travel near and well travel far
toot toot chugga chugga big red car
were gunna ride the whole day long!

10 Jeff is fast asleep hes havin a little rest
we better wake him up so lets all car out WAKE UP JEFF!
toot toot chugga chugga big red car well travel near and well travel far
toot toot chugga chugga big red were gunna ride the whole day long!

Anthony is eating hes got soo much food
15 hes eating apples and oranges and fruit salad too!
toot toot chugga chugga big red car well travel near and well travel far
toot toot chugga chugga big red were gunna ride the whole day long!

Greg is doing the driving singing Shoobie Doowa
Greg is doing the driving of the big red car!
20Toot toot chugga chugga big red car well travel near and well travel far
toot toot chugga chugga big red car were gunna ride the whole day long!

This is the first canto of the wiggles uncompleted masterwork, entitled TOOT TOOT Chugga Chugga big red car. One of the most complicated pieces created by the skivie wearing poets The Wiggles. It is not only complicated rhythmically but also in the sublety in which the writer broaches on some of the more pressing issues of public safety.
Line 1-3 The use of colloquial language truly highlights this under rated authors intended audience. The word Chugga is used to great effect to conjure images of the working man, lost in the fifth beer of the evening, and then contemplating the drive home.

Line 4: " Murrys in the back seat playing his guitar" the dangers of distractions while driving should not be understated. The clever double play by the writer here is so very subtle; only one with a deep understanding of the writers work could ever hope to grasp, in the use of the back seat reference the writer also shows his feelings to recent changes to VSU (volunteer student unionism) where the arts have truly taken a backseat to other courses. This is a topic of conversation known to be dear to our writers heart.

Line 10 " Jeff is fast asleep he's having a little rest" Public safety is once again proving to be the primary focus, the dangers of narcolepsy in public has had very little media attention of late. But is obviously still weighing heavily on the writers mind due to personal tragedy. The main characteristic of narcolepsy is overwhelming excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), even after adequate night time sleep. A person with narcolepsy is likely to become drowsy or to fall asleep, often at inappropriate times and places. Daytime naps may occur with or without warning and may be irresistible. These naps can occur several times a day. They are typically refreshing, but only for up to a couple hours.* The effects can be seen through out the wiggles work, shown here only in part for a more detailed look at some of the wiggles underground work entitled "Wake up Jeff" a sad and sometimes disturbing look at a Narcolepsy sufferer.

Line 14-15: We come back once again to public awareness and safety, but not in an immediate sense. A healthy diet is preventative for many forms of cancer, in particularly colon cancer. High levels of fibre lead to reduce "transit" time and reduced exposure to potential carcinogens. A good source of fibre is fruit which the writer stresses in the diet " hes eating apples and oranges and fruit salad too".. There is a second point made in this unique couplet that of the dangers of Obesity, the stress is on the word food in line 14, bringing our attention to the dangers of over consumption, cleverly this is also set within a car, the trade mark of the western world, we are over consuming in more was than one. The excessive nature of the western world is shown in lines 3, 9, 13, 17, 21.. The car is driven needlessly for the whole day purely for enjoyment with no consideration of the potential negative effects on the environment. In a single year a standard vehicle produces 4.3 tonnes of CO on average, a larger vehicle such as the big red car will produce much more.

Line 18 "Greg is doing the driving," driver fatigue one of the greatest killers on Victorian roads after speeding and alcohol. We see Greg unsafe promoting unsafe driving habits by not resting every 2 hours, sharing the driving, it is dangerous and inconsiderate of his passengers. Our writer makes the dangers obvious to reinforce safe driving practices.
Sometimes I wonder is I do think too much
*Clearly ripped off from Wikipedia ( I hope they don’t mind)

Thank you for all the comments on the previous post, I will hopefully get a chance to respond before taking off for beautiful South Africa tomorrow . Thank you for all your well wishes it means a lot to Stace and I. Take care see you all in a month.
Aidan

2006-11-22T02:32:00.000-08:00

It is now only 3 days until the wedding and I need to relax, the stress is high, the butterflies have morphed into winged elephants I breathe in and release the meditative mantra… ommmmmmmm
Breathe
Ommmmmmm
Breathe
Ohm
This is a nice lead into Ohms law and the circuitry of life.
V=IR Voltage is equal to Current (I) multiplied by the Resistance in ohm. For any constant voltage, current and resistance will be inversely proportional…I now intend to prove that this is applicable not only to electronics but to the masses.

Electronics 101:
How to understand a circuit. I struggle to think in terms of the intangible, infinite number of electrons belting round a circuit at break neck speeds so I take a simple analogy, and the world becomes less complicated.

From this point in time…
Battery is now known as a UN Peace keeper Camp.
Current is the number of soldiers passing a point per second
Voltage will be measured in mars bars.
And resistance is merely the size of the swamp to traverse.

Rules of engagement.(ROE)
1 every soldier will be issued with the same number of mars bars
2 every soldier must consume all of the mars bars on the round trip
3 no soldier will deviate from the patrol routes defined on the diagram
4 if there is a junction in the paths it at the soldier's discretion as to which path to take.

In a series (no choice) circuit:
All soldiers are issued the same number of mars bars from the base camp and head out on patrol, They approach the first swamp and consume the number of mars bars they need to get them across. As the current (number of soldiers) is constant the amount of mars bars consumed will vary due to the size of the swamp. V=IR if R goes up so must V, directly proportionate. If more swamps are put into the patrol route, it will decrease inversely proportionate. In short current is a constant but voltage is shared across the resistors. True to life, more swamps that people need to cross the less people will to do so, except for the one or two oddities who scream out "I love swamps" and march happily out.

In a parallel (choices) circuit all soldiers still leave with the same number of mars bars… they travel along and come to a fork in the road. To the left is a path with 50 swamps, on the right a path with 100 swamps. On either path the same number of mars bars will be consumed (roe) , but the number of soldiers taking each path will depend on the number of swamps. Being Lazy in the UN most soldiers take the path with the least number of swamps. The two crazies screaming I love swamps the rest saying screw that I am taking the bridge. If the number of mars bars are the same (V), then the number of soldiers (I) will be inversely proportionate to the Resistance. (R) If R goes up less soldiers will take that path. The Path of Least resistance.

Humans and the Path of Least Resistance.
Everyday we are given choices of what to do with the day. Do we chat with our partner or do we watch TV in silence? Do we work hard, or watch others pick up the slack? Do we reduce the amount of CO2 that we produce each day by riding to work or taking public transport instead of driving? Do we think for ourselves or let the media do it for us? Do we do something proactive about the socio economic unfairness facing the world, or do we just cheer when others finally make the effort? How many projects have you put off because you couldn’t find the time? Do we live our lives to the best of our ability or do we merely take the path of least resistance?

2006-11-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

[Deep voice over]
New start chat is proudly brought to you by……
Tonka… the ultimate Christmas gift… or don’t you love your children enough?

And

Diva.. Spend 30 dollars or more on our tween range and your first Planned Parenthood meeting is free.

Theme music plays, applause……

[Host] welcome back, as promised we have a very special guest tonight. The creator of such thoughts as, "Everyone else is having sex bare me", and "I didn’t yet the job because of my religion". Every ones favourite anthropomorphic personification Paranoia.. Welcome to the show.

[Paranoia] It's good to be back…stares… what is that lump on your neck?

[Host]What lump?

[Paranoia]That little grey scaly one, don’t stress i am sure it is nothing cancerous. Guess they all say that at some point, then well you know..

[Host]What, what happens, who says that?

[Paranoia]You know they, them the opposite of us.

[Host]Ah oh ok, moving along… touches neck

[Paranoia]Don’t worry you can barely notice it… stares at neck….. not like that hair piece. Most of the front row has noticed it, the two girls down the end are giggling at it, or maybe it was just that witty remark you made, guess we will never know.

[Host]Re positions hair piece… Last time we saw you was shortly after Cronulla, some of your better work if you don’t mind me saying so, how on earth did you turn people so quickly, I think that’s what people are really wanting to know? It only took two years then people were diving for cover at the sight of a turban, people starting fights with people who didn’t even fit the stereotype, but did just for that day… amazing stuff.

[Paranoia]Actually I can't take all the credit for that one; I had a lot of help from my friends Fear and Miss Information., a lovely set of girls. All we had to do is associate the turban with murder and terrorism, make their customs seem alien and incompatible. The media were great in that one, people like to be afraid and feel like they are winning a war no matter how intangible the enemy. WE had to show vast armies of enemies franticly firing machine guns in the air, not the boring non paper selling Muslims, like Cab drivers, lawyers and surgeons, make the religion look a bit rough round the edges, show the older parts of the Koran, the death and suffering parts… Little saying that start with everyone knows… Then all we needed was one little spark and off it went.

[Host]Surely people would think back to all the Muslims they had known, the non paper selling ones, back before they had always been the enemy?

[Paranoia]Think… think that's were fear comes in. they react first and then think. Self preservation is the strongest natural urge. Fear drives it, the body cannot put fear to good use, as it converts it to anger as the adrenalin rises, it is all so simple.

[Host]Ok playing on racism and peoples small minded tendencies is one thing, but turning people against their own government that is an achievement.

[Paranoia]Hey those two girls that were laughing at your hair piece they have moved on they are now laughing at the purple shirt.

[Host]What?

[Paranoia]Don’t mind me I am just observant, I think it is great that you feel that comfortable with your own sexuality to wear purple.

[Host]What's wrong with purple? pulls at collar

[Paranoia]Against politicians and corporations is easy. It comes down to what is easier to believe for the common man, personal responsibility and ones own capabilities. Bad things happen to good people; people get laid off, children starving in far away lands, destruction of the environment. It conjures up ideas of smoky rooms; full of rich, powerful and bored men; plotting and scheming. It is easier than thinking of people like you and I, people with kids, torturers have families; even totalitarian dictators still love their children. It is just a part of human nature to deny what we are capable of. Not to mention everyone loves a good conspiracy.

[Host]What about when I feel the whole world is out to get me, how do you pull that one off?

[Paranoia]Are you trying to be taken seriously as a journalist, I am sure it wont last long.. I just play to the ego of people, you are of course the centre of the universe, even god watches your every action, He keeps tabs on how many times you swear and bat off. If everything revolves around us, why shouldn’t the conspiracy? An example a man on train writing in a blue note book stolen from work, looks at you, smiles and goes back to writing in the book, you automatically believe he is writing about you, not what was out the window behind you.

[Host]We are running out of time, before we go what's next for you?

[Paranoia]Politics there is always room for more paranoia in politics especially around election times, maybe another leadership challenge never know who wants your job Johnny.

[Host]Everyone lets here it for paranoia.

Applause cut to commercial.

2006-11-08T17:29:00.000-08:00

Thanks for your time mr howard.
after the break we have a fantastic guest, all the way from a political tour of The western world Paranoia.... but to take us to the break here is the Sisters of Mercy CHoir with a song which is the entry for one of the writers wedding..... "a change in my life"

* queue music*
singing

Standing cold and scared on top of the hill
Then came the moment when I lost my will
I prayed for mercy please don't take me away
Give me the sunshine when I only see rain
The past had a hold on me
It can't be denied
And the changes didn't come easily

I've been lonely, I've been cheated, and I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, I've been put down, and told I'm no good
But with you I belong
Because you helped me be strong
There's been a change in my life since you came along

Now I don't mind working hard every day
And I don't pay no mind to what people say
â€˜Cause after all the pain I've been through
I gave up everything to love only you
See, all my life I've walked with my head bent in shame
But since I found you, with you I've been made

I've been lonely, I've been cheated, and I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, I've been put down, and I've been told I'm no good
But with you I belong
Because you helped me be strong
There's been a change in my life since you came along

Now a man gets crazy when his life is all wrong
And the heart gets a little weary when it doesn't belong
And the road gets a little bit rocky but you've got to keep on
And let the new light shining on you

I've been lonely, and I've been cheated, and I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, and I've been put down, and I've been told I'm no good
But with you I belong
Because you helped me be strong
There's been a change in my life since you came along

Can you see it (well I can see your love around me)
Can you hear it (I hear it in my heart)
Can you feel it (well I can feel the power around me)
Let the new light come shining on me

I've been lonely, and I've been cheated, and I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, and I've been put down, and I've been told I'm no good
But with you I belong
Because you helped me be strong
There's been a change in my life since you came along

2006-11-04T19:09:00.000-08:00

While the cats away….

The mice will… listen to heavy metal music, play computer games, drink beer and feast on seafood.
The closest we ever came to breaking up was very early on in the piece, I offered Stace a prawn from the dish I was eating… and she said
"Sorry, I don't like seafood"
I was taken quite a back, my mind starts to pulse.. "You don’t like seafood?" what if this become serious a life with out seafood, no prawns, oysters, crayfish, muscles, panic sets in.. I calmed down, I knew I could eat seafood when ever we went out. It would be ok, I could still eat it at home, we just wouldn't eat it together. I was ok with this, time passes and we move in together. It was great, fun times, many laughs, and lots of romantic misunderstandings. But no seafood in the house.

Stace is currently up with the out laws celebrating Wool Week in her home town. SO it has been nothing but heavy metal, beer and Seafood Paella.

In order to make a good paella. Firstly crank the heavy metal to full volume, a good selection should involve, Nine Inch Nails, Slipknot, Korn, Anthrax, Machine Head, Cradle of Filth, and some Rammstein to be fully multi cultural.

Open a bottle of Carlton draught, and shuck a half dozen oysters, these should be enjoyed over 20 mins or so. Oysters may only be served natural, Kilpatrick should be banned under international law, as it destroys the natural flavour and texture of the oyster.

For the paella, in the pot, add 3 cups of fish stock, one cup of water, and a teaspoon of saffron. Heat over medium to medium-high heat. Open and consume a beer.

In a frying pan, add a table spoon of olive oil, cook fillets of firm white fish but into 2 cm cubes until golden turning after a minute. Take fish from the pan, place it on plate.

TO the frying pan add a little more oil, slice onion, 2 cloves of crushed garlic, cook until the onion is soft and clear. Add two cups of rice, a can of diced tomatoes and a teaspoon of paprika. Add half of the fish stock mix to the frying pan, shake the pan to allow the solution to filter through the rice, cook uncovered on medium heat for 10 mins or until the solution is absorbed.

Add a hand full of green prawn cutlets, rings of squid, and several de bearded muscles to the mix push them into the rice mix, keep adding the fish stock mix at five minute intervals, half a cup at a time, until you run out of mix, approx 25 mins…. Add the fish and half a cup of frozen peas. Open and consume a beer.

Allow to stand for 5 mins, serve with fresh black pepper and beer.
Enjoy.

The final step is cleaning up the mess you made before she gets home, which is in approximately 5 hours….. wonder how much I can fit in the cupboard?

2006-10-30T16:38:00.000-08:00

Keep having huge moments of writers block, I wonder how HE and WW do this every day.

Today is the sudden realisation of that I am no longer meant to be a kid… it is now a grand total of 25 days left to go before saying good bye to the single life, sitting around in my underpants and a wasting my life watching the adventures of my fellow bloggers. It is of course 25 days to the wedding, the rings have been bought, although I believe the language of Mordoor would have been more romantic. The flower girl is getting more excited (yes that is possible), the best man is keyed up for the bucks night, the celebrant has been worded up, the photographer is practicing his aim… It is all falling into place. But….

Shouldn’t I feel like an adult…

Growing up, primary school, days of wedgies, wet willies, and songs with the words whoopsa daisy in them.. a time were the Mullet rained supreme as the height of fashion, you could wear bike shorts and not own a bike, a child in the eighties, time passed I filled my head with knowledge, history of Australia, basic mathematics, the deep and disturbing look into the caterpillar psyche which is “The Hungry, Hungry Catterpillar”.. Bows, arrows, toy guns and surf life saving… Maybe once I hit high school I’ll feel like a young man.

High school a time of beatings, long bus trips, noticing girls not noticing me, sex education *snigger*, erratic grades, quake, doom and MIRC. Meeting the best mates I have ever had in my life, most of which I still see. First kisses, well more a saliva exchange program, shouldn’t It happen then the responsibility of somebody heart, shouldn’t one feel more responsible then. First break up, it came down to Blizzard Entertainment’s Starcraft or her, but it was a great game. Search and rescue, carrying corpses, picking up suicides, bits occasionally falling off, face to face with death at the age of 15 surely then… but no I just had stories to make my female friends go green. Flying aircraft, the life of friends and family resting in my hands, mum had to drive to the airfield I would fly a plane by my self for an hour, then mum would have to drive me home, as I was not old enough to drive. The death of a friend, I thought that would change things, I lost a really good friend when I was 16 he was 15, killed by a car collecting money for charity. Still not sure how that affected me, even thinking back now, I smile when I think of his antics, and I still think about the last thing I said to him. I had seen a lot of death, my early days I spent on a bowls club (lawn) helping my father, it wasn’t unusual to loose a friend a week, but they were all in their eighties+ had live rich lives, at 16 years of age it struck me how much promise and potential was lost that day. Even surrounded by death I still did not see my self as a man.
Then the 90s were amazing times, the DVD killed the video star, the murder of the radio star still remained unsolved, boy bands roamed the earth in search of greener pastures. My love affair with Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson began, first concerts and great nights.

Maybe you become a man when Loosing your virginity? It was 15 minutes in pure ecstasy, inclusive of the time to put my clothes back on and eat the pizza.

I thought to my self, after high school, university is what makes you a man. One bad semester, most of which a blur, of big nights and socialising, scrapping some study together in the end passed most classes. Decided uni was not for me, for I joined the Air Force, nothing makes a man out of you like military service, so I was told, so I yelled and screamed and shot plastic targets with high accuracy. DUXed the college, but I still felt the same I was just stronger and fitter.

I saw that you got nowhere in life without that bit of paper, I went part time military, and back to the books, 5 changes in majors in the course. Meteorology, physics, chemistry and finally settling on Molecular Biology, yet my secret love with philosophy, couldn’t let the science nerds know that. 3 years of advanced study, surely then I would be a “man”, I met Stace in my final year, you would think taking 6 months later I proposed,
Transcript:
Me.“will you marry me?”
Stace “Yes”
Me “really?”
Stace “yeah ok”
Me “oh I guess we are engaged then”

Engagement parties and the “shock” of friends, surely now I would feel adult, grown up, mature. No shortly after I was swimming in a public fountain. World travel and new horizons, still no change.

Now I am 24, getting married, living away from home, doing grown up things but I still feel like a big kid. I still act like a big kid, I still do silly things for my friends and Stace’s amusement… maybe after I’m married, if not there is always kids…

Now where did I leave those underpants?

2006-10-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

I need some elbow room.
Although the population density of the universe is zero (area is infinite and the population finite, finite number divided by an infinite number is close enough to 0 ) and any people you by chance come across are merely a figment of a deranged imagination… but yet it is feeling awfully crowded down here.

I am setting out today using first order calculations that we have in fact filled the earth The facts:

Surface area of a sphere S=4(pi)R2 radius in meters
Radius of the earth 6378 km
Habitable surface area (not ocean, desert, or ice) approx 20%
Amount of space required to sustain a single person enough space to be comfortable and self sufficient (vegies and some live stock) approximately 25 m2

Current population estimate 6,552,533,873

Firstly we need the surface area of the earth

First order……

S= 4*3.142*(6378)2
Surface area of the earth = 511252214.112
* 1000 to m2
S=5112252214112 m2

OF which habitable, so, not a desert, not an ocean, not too hilly, habitable is approximately 20% of the surface.

(20/100) *5112252214112= 102250442822.44 m2 of habitable land
divide the total habitable land by the land to sustain an individual

102250442822.44 /25= 4,090,017,712 individuals

APPROX 4 BILLION INDIVIDUALS AT CAPACITY…. Currently sitting at 6 billion.

Not a bad 8000 years effort filling an entire planet. I sometimes wonder if Adam and Eve were shown a random cross section of the people today; the whiny, self-important masses known as the human race. Do you think they would have bothered?

2006-10-19T19:52:00.000-07:00

Nothing matters…..
Wow that should sound depressing instead of a long drawn out speech on atomic theory…
In beginning of atomic theory, a man dropped a vase. The vase not surprisingly broke into many pieces being of inquisitive mind (Very similar to my uncle who died shortly after saying hey y’all look what I can do), he took forth a hammer, and laid the pieces to waste. After a while he became bored with this, and thought to himself, there must be a point in which I can no longer break this vase… The word Atomos was born, meaning indivisible, the smallest building block available.

Science progressed many more vases broke and theory continued to develop. We found we could break the vase further, we found protons, neutrons, electrons… We decided to cram them all together and hoped it would all balance out, the WSOGMM* model other wise known as the plum pudding model. Protons, electron and neutron in harmony in close quarters the atom however was chaotic and crowded, so the electrons moved out. Possibly due to the personal the personal habits of the neutrons or the unbearable positive attitude of the protons, but they moved to the edge of the known reaches of the sphere.

A young scientist got bored with breaking vases and decided to pelt it with balls. His name was Rutherford, he fired Alpha particles (Helium nuclei) at a sheet of gold, back when science was given funding over arts grants to paint the rocks green. He released that not as many particles were bouncing back, he was ducking for nothing…. He surmised that the mass must be centralised as most seemed to pass through. He came to the conclusion the electrons orbit the outside of the atom and the majority is merely empty space. As like reflects like, he could also establish that all positive charge was centralised in the centre of the atom.

Bohr, who wasn’t one, played with the idea of discrete energy levels, quanta, essentially he burnt things realised putting in energy changed the amount of electron excitement, like a lingerie calendar in an all boys primary school. I stood to reason al electrons would have a level of energy and the Bohr model was born, centralised nucleus containing protons and neutrons and orbiting electrons at discrete energy levels.

Quantum then developed, Heisenberg (gashuntite) uncertainty arose in which if you know something with certainty, you will loose the accuracy of the other. If you know the speed of an electron, you no longer know position with any certainty.
Joke: Professor Heisenberg flying down the road in his car, copper pulls him over and says “ Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg says “no but I know exactly where I am”.
If there is a bad quantum physics joke I haven’t heard it.

Orbits became uncertainty clouds and unpredictable and dangerous. Electrons span til they got dizzy. The scientists did the same trying to predict them.

Where this post is going, it has become the history of atomic theory, what I wanted to say was, the atom is made up of empty space mostly nothing, the equivalent of a pea in the centre of the MCG. Completely different to peeing in the middle of the MCG. It is hard to think of something coming from nothing, but everything is made of atoms, which are essentially nothing, the truth is nothing came from nothing and were here in proof of that.

*Whole sort of general mish mash

2006-10-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

I am still alive sorry about the absence of posts I have been busy and work is watching my stats.

Morality and Moral responsibility…
If there is no free will then there can be no moral responsibility.
Our actions regardless how trivial are not in fact free, all events are dictated by those that proceeded them, if this is the case how can we punish those who go against our own morality. To punish one who is not at fault is unjust and outside of the Modus operandi of a civilised society.

Utilitarian Morality.
An example five of the greatest minds of our time, lie awaiting organ donation, they are incapacitated due to there illness and cannot continue their noble work unless they receive a transplant. Amongst these five lies the potential to cure cancer, control global warming, and the answers to Australia's drought. Every day the doctor treating these five geniuses passes a young homeless man, healthy of body but destitute. Would it be justifiable to take a single forgotten life and save five "important" lives. This is of course an extreme example of utilitarian morality but one we must adopt to allow logical punishment.
Prisons are there to detain – ie. Remove undesirable elements from the society, yes it unjust to remove one not at fault, but the society as a whole must be preserved . This is a greater good morality. Secondly Prison systems serve to reform an individual shape his/ her influences and create a functional member of society.

Legal system and Hard determinism..

Majority of crime is property related; theft, burglary, and vandalism. Violent crime is in the minority and is usually linked with property related crime, such as assault with a deadly weapon during a hold up, or assault during a robbery. What motivates theft, a lack of fund, or the lack of means to earn property lawfully? Law is based on common sense, would a man break into a home, risk the wrath of the owner or his dog, the wrath of the law, risk injury crawling around in the dark in unfamiliar surroundings, if there was an easier way to obtain money? It makes sense that if people were given the chance, and the ability to live (own land, good pay and conditions) that crime would in fact reduce. I am not saying, however, that crime could be totally eradicated we will always need prisons, there will always be some which cannot integrate into society, due to genetic defect or other product of their nurture.
An example of this in practice is Australia, they took thousands of the "no hopers" revolving convicts, and took destitute women and transported them to an island. They were given the chance to live they were given their own land, the ability to make an honest living, without sacrificing everything. The convicts flourished they them selves built prisons, churches, a basic socialist utopia. If we tried it today no doubt that wer would achieve the same results. The ability to live is slowing being taken from us, great minds forced into menial jobs, PHDs working in call centres, while the reach protect their wealth.. No one can sway my belief that 10% should not control 90% of the wealth this is grossly unfair and a major part of the problem.

Through out history, we have been in a state in which when the divide between the rich and poor became too great the poor would rise up. The poor will always win en masse. Even this has been taken from us, Unions are banned under the guise of industrial relations reforms, any protest is portrayed as a bunch of no hopers, or "un Australian" and the media keeps the rest docile with endless entertainment to distract the masses from the true socio economic unfairness of the situation.

Where to from here?
As George Orwell once said if there is hope it lies with the proles.
To make a difference we must change the factors which shape our world if we wish t change the outcome. We need to bring people out of their own little worlds, make them unafraid of their neighbours, make them see the difference between an asylum seeker and queue jumper. We can take away the fear with the snip of a cable, take out television think for yourself, stop watching current affairs programs that breed fear and hate. Introduce work place reforms that protect the workers not the hip pocket of the investors(good working conditions, reasonable hours and pay someone could live on.). Black list companies (internationally) that exploit workers, such as Nike. Ban religions which perpetuate the class mentality, "The meek shall inherit the earth, what a good reason to ask for more." Educate the masses that we are being swindled while those that have always had, continue to have, and just hope its enough to make the difference.

You should always end with a quote, mostly I cannot say it better.

"working men of all countries, Unite"- Karl Marx the Communist Manifesto

2006-10-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

Be weary weary quiet were hunting paedophiles… ehehehehe

The home of a convicted rapist was burnt to the ground on Thursday, as the towns folk watched on. Beers in hand the crowd cheered as the home of Terrence Allan Ellis was reduced to smouldering rubble. Terrence Allan Ellis was recently sentenced to 3 and a half years jail after raping a young woman from the town..

I am not by any stretch of the imagination a paedophile sympathiser, nor am I so heartless to assume that a crime of this magnitude would not shock a town to its core. However taking justice into ones own hands is were I take stock.
“grab your pitch forks and torches, kill the ogre” have we really taken this step backwards towards cavorting druids, living in caves and dung for dinner.

I do not always agree with the sentencing in this country, it is not always appropriate to the crime, white collar crime theft of millions is a slap on the wrist, john lunch pale who holds up a petrol station to pay his bills spent life behind bars. Our justice system does need an overhaul, but we must remain calm think things through, act on good information not out of fear.

Our prison systems serve three purposes, firstly to deter, secondly to punish and thirdly to reform, what chance will a convict have of reform with no home to return too, no hope for his/ her release.

On a final note, it is funny to watch a media organization after something like this, a group which has fuel fear and hate of sex offenders, making us feel like they are around every corner lurking to steal our children. The pump the masses full of fear and hate and then wash their hands when a tragedy happens. This was apparent with a Cronulla race riots, every day pumped full of fear about Arabs, Muslims and asylum seekers, then people get scared, then angry people get hurt and killed, the media says it’s a shame.

2006-09-28T01:08:00.001-07:00

Look on the floor it’s a sponge, it's a mop…… No its super fiancé….
Mild mannered consumer finance consultant and blogger extraordinaire by day….

Super grime fighter by night;

More cleaning action than detergent, greater scrubber than those found on the streets of St Kilda, Able to remove tough syrup stains with a single swipe. He fears no dish, there is no meal he cannot prepare, the unstoppable powerhouse in the kitchen…

In today's Episode…. The evil Doctor Dentro has inflicted serious pain on our damsel in distress, "I have a filling you would be dropping in, mwah ha ha haha" The evil doctor laughs maliciously.

Our damsel watches helplessly as her teeth are scraped and filled, "will I ever chew again," she cried. Our hero dashes to the aid, of the beautiful buxom blonde bombshell. "Never Fear super fiancé is here" he cries as he gallantly prances (in a very masculine way), towards her.

It is too late, the filling is complete, all is lost, all he can do is drag her to bachelor cave… "I need 500 grams of jelly stat," barks super fiancé, "and ice cream dammit, where is it?". The blonde bombshell is nursed back to health, Doctor Dentro escapes to fight once again in a even more sinister battle but super fiancé will be ready always on guard for those he loves.

All is well in the universe, Super fiancé gets the girl, (when her teeth are fixed), but what ho a knock…

Its captain best mate, and super fiancés only weakness steak and beer….
*gasp*

Will out hero avoid temptation? What is the mystery ingredient in the veggie lasagne? Why is abbreviation such a long word? Answers to these questions and more in the next instalment of super fiancé………

2006-09-27T00:05:00.000-07:00

The battle of Stalingrad.

Unknown private.
Dear diary, It has been three days straight in this hole, the shells are continuous, I haven't slept, I am down to the last three rounds. I have never been so frightened, every explosion, shakes the shit out of me. Think I would be used to it by now.. The Germans push up, we push them back, surrender is no longer an option, if we stay still we die, if we try and run we die, it is a choice between bullets. I wrote a will yesterday, bequeathing all my belongings to my mother and father; I know I will never see them again. Another push, wish me luck.
November 25th 1942

Artillery Officer Ivan Fyodorovich.
Dear Sir,
I write in concern of recent targets given to members of my battalion on the 25th of November 1942. My major concern is the proximity of all targets in relation to our ground forces. Radio signals from the front indicate the majority of our fire has been falling on the wrong half of the city causing needless causalities amongst our ranks. More detailed intelligence is required to avoid needless episodes of friendly fire.

With All due respect
Artillery Officer Ivan Fyodorovich
25th of November 1942

Commander Aleksandr Vasilyevskiy.
To whom it may concern,
I write this letter to inform you of my displeasure at the selection of red wines that are available in the officers mess, we are currently entertaining a British officer, who for the sake of security will remain nameless. The support of the British is vital to the war effort, and it is insulting to all those involved if we cannot properly entertain our allies diplomats. Please in future maintain an adequate selection, or I shall be forced to pursue the mater further.
Commander Aleksandr Vasilyevskiy
November 25, 1942

Aidan in a brief and poorly worded essay.
The battle of Stalingrad was possibly the bloodiest conflict in human history, both sides soviet and the axis forces lost in the order of 750,000 men. The city itself was nearly destroyed during the German bombing campaign. This was then followed up by intensive shelling from the axis forces. 90% of the city was captured until the soviet counter attack code named operation Uranus. The German allies had become spread too thin across the defensive line and easily succumb to the Russian counter attack.

The over all victor: the Russians
German forces consisted of Germany, Italy, Romania and Hungary.
The soviets stood alone.
German Casaulties 740,000 killed or wounded, 110,000 captured
Soviet 750,000+ killed, wounded or captured, 40,000+ civilian dead
Aidan 27th of September 2006.

Imagine trying to explain my point of view to the unknown private.

2006-09-25T17:08:00.000-07:00

Attention fellow citizens…
As the new minister for music in Homo Escapeons Marxist (Groucho) and Leninist (John) empire, I should lay down some ground rules

1. Firstly Rap is outlawed, talking is not singing.
2. Techno is outlawed, as are DJs, I don’t care how well they can press the play button on the machine.
3. Girl groups are to be returned to the cloning vat from which they came.
4. Music will accept a restraining order against reality TV, Reality TV is to have no contact with music, talk about music, or create any show about music.
5. The recorder is not an instrument, regardless if played nasally.
6. Rock achieved perfection in the seventies so saith the minister
7. Individuality will not be defined by the contents of the Ipod
8. Punk rock, reached perfection with the Ramones.
9. All music with have soul and substance, 13 year olds signing about how painful a break up is, and who she hooked up with the next night will also be outlawed.
10. The unofficial Anthem for sporting events will be Punk Rock song By BAD RELIGION.

PUNK ROCK SONG

have you been to the desert?
have you walked with the dead?
there's a hundred thousand children being killed for their bread

and the figures don't lie they speak of human disease
but we do what we want and we think what we please

have you lived the experience?
have you witnessed the plague?
people making babies sometimes just to escape
in this land of competition the compassion is gone
yet we ignore the needy and we keep pushing on
we keep pushing on

this is just a punk rock song
written for the people who can see something's wrong
like ants in a colony we do our share
but there's so many other fuckin' insects out there
and this is just a punk rock song
(like workers in a factory we do our share
but there's so many other fuckin' robots out there)

have you visited the quagmire?
have you swam in the shit?
the party conventions and the real politik
the faces always different, the rhetoric the same
but we swallow it, and we see nothing change
nothing has changed...

10 million dollars on a losing campaign
20 million starving and writhing in pain
big strong people unwilling to give
small in vision and perspective
one in five kids below the poverty line
one population runnin' out of time

Yes Imagine is the official anthem but this has a better beat.

2006-09-21T00:50:00.000-07:00

I think therefore I am…… I think – Detritus the Troll- Terry Pratchett (Discword)

Before taking off on a philosophical tangent I must say that the feline is out of the sack, in addition the cat is out of the bag. For those of you yet to catch on Stace is in fact my beautiful wife to be. We are to be married on the 25th of November this year. We have been engaged for a little over 18 months. Thank you for all the good wishes and congratulations.

This is a photo of the two of us taken in Edinburgh (Scotland) at Christmas last year; we may be slightly inebriated I'm not sure if we were I have no clear memory of that night.

Rene Descartes, some would deem the founder of modern philosophy, came up with a simple but brilliant idea. Doubt everything. Take it back to first principles deny every thought and theory and start from scratch.

I exist, thought Descartes. Or do I, he came to the conclusion that he could not doubt that he was doubting for therefore must exist. This f course led to the most famous philosophical axiom….

Cogito Ergo Sum
I think therefore I am

Often confused with the Monty Python axiom taken from the drunken philosophers song I drink therefore I am.

Do I exist?, I think, I doubt, so therefore I am. Yet what if I only think that I am thinking?

"I think that I am thinking there for am I actually being?" –Arnold Rimmer (Red Dwarf)
Descartes although a legend in his time makes no claim to the nature of existence, perhaps I am merely a character in a novel, perhaps, Aidan does not exist it is merely a pseudonym of a reclusive author.

Conceptually millions of possible Aidans exist as alluded to on H E's blog earlier. In the mind of everyone who has ever met me, or read my blog, or has had any contact, has an Aidan stored in their head. For some it may be merely physical messy dyed blue-black hair, blundstone boots, 182 centre metres, fine build. Some may have met me on a big night, and remember how painful karaoke can be. Some may have had a religious debate with me and found me an interesting yet unusual man. All descriptions of me are true all these versions of me are true, yet contrasted none are true. Stace's or my own conceptual Aidan may have more details, intimate thoughts, strange habits, knowledge of my stationery fetish, it is impossible to define a true self.

AT the end of the day one must accept a level of existence, even be it only conceptual. If this is just a movie/story and we are merely characters it is an honour to perform along side you, I just hope it has a happy ending.

2006-09-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

An amazing Sea Horse picture...
Sorry the new of late has been too depressing for thought provoking blogs.

2006-09-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

Ah blog things.com I forgot how much time one could spend, working out which crappy Christmas present you would be, or which back street boy are you most likely to marry. That last one was a surprise to me as well. Although it is a good distraction while waiting for inspiration it is time to move on with theories of all things life related.

The older I get, the more I learn, the less I actually I know. I still remember a time were my father was the greatest font of knowledge in the known universe, any question from plastics to botany my father would know an answer. I knew that god watched down over my mortal life and everything would be ok for me and my friends if I trusted in god. That god made the world in seven days there were some dinosaurs god made as a side project but lost interest. Then influences such as La Vey, Bertrand Russell, Watson and Crick shook those foundations, the apparent hypocrisy in all organisations strengthened my resolve, the final nail was the answer was always God. Why does the grass grow? Answer God. Why is the sky blue? The will of god. Why do bad things happen to good people? Two answers for some mystery Gods ineffable will or acts of Satan. All of a sudden the answers seemed too simple, so I moved to physics where the answer is either 1 or zero but at least it is something concrete. The Satan answer changed. When we couldn’t explain something, it was no longer Satan but a new scape goat Quantum.

Teachers at school passed on their wisdom of biology and chemistry, In school I knew human gestation period was 9 months. Then I hit University, hang on I cried 40 weeks that’s 10 months. Another theory crashes down around my ears. Chemistry a simple nucleus and electrons like a merry go round happily circling, All of a sudden we cant even tell where they will be, only a probability of there position or speed and knowing one changes the certainty of knowing the other.. Heisenberg.

Quantum physics joke.

"Doctor Heisenberg was flying down the road in a Ferrari, copper pulls him over and says "do you know how fast you were going? Dr Heisenberg says "No. But I know exactly where I am."

Even the people of the world changed. Where I grew up, the population was predominately Anglo-Saxon and retired. There were a few Greek families all of which owned milk bars, a few Italians who either own restaurants or concreted for a living, and a Chinese family who ran the local Chinese take away. That is how I saw the world. I moved to Melbourne around 18 years later. All of a sudden there are heaps of Chinese people, but I couldn’t find the restaurants. Greeks and Italians who studied medicine, I wondered how they fit it in with all the concreting .

Even with everything that I have learned, I've seen a lot of the world, held several different jobs, studied at university been engaged, about to be married, spoken other languages with varying degrees of success. Yet I am still at a loss as to why a peak hour train is possibly the quietest place in the city. Why most people don’t know the names of any of there neighbours. Why people read tabloid papers, and why we enjoy being afraid?

Every idea, every thought I have ever had has been changed, questioned resolved, re evaluated. To say that I know anything at all is quite a strong statement.

Socratic axiom - All I know is that I know nothing.

2006-09-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: Highest
Fashion Geekiness: Highest
Music Geekiness: High
Gamer Geekiness: Moderate
Geekiness in Love: Moderate
General Geekiness: Moderate
Internet Geekiness: Moderate
Movie Geekiness: Moderate
SciFi Geekiness: Moderate

How Geeky Are You?

2006-09-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

I awake, my silk pyjamas from Ralph Lauren fall to the ground, I shave my face using the mach 3 as it has three blades for less irritation, the shower runs, I exfoliate, with a loofah from The body Shop. I wash using lynx Africa, with the volcanic particles, mostly because I like the smell. I use Tommy Hilfiger aftershave and dress for work. My shirts come in various colours all from Portobellos Australia; I choose the blue because it is the most striking and masculine. I have a grey Pierre Cardin Tie which goes perfectly with the blue, and to top it off pants from Casual guy, I prefer casual guy as most of the clothes give a sense of individuality, in colour and style.

Breakfast and onto the train I see people everywhere wearing the exact same things, trite ring tones, some cheesy adlib mono tone, I on the other hand have Beethoven's 5th symphony as a real tone, and the sound through my PDA phone is amazing. I went with Beethoven as it has a sense of class and individuality, something which I see in my self.

My MP3 player has tracks which truly define my life, ranging from Simple plan, you know true loss to Robbie Williams I know he doesn’t write his own stuff but his voice is incredible. Sometimes I read, I flick through the pages of the Da Vinci code and try and predict the end, I learn my history from the popular section, but unlike the rest I have all his other books. So I have a better understanding of the Author.

I flick open my wallet at the station to go through the barriers, Billabong has always been the best quality for wallets, I gives me a feel of my home having the surf label having grown up on the beach and all. My credit card is an odd shape and is bright purple I choose it out of the 6 available colours just to be different, my mates card looks crap in comparison.

I trun left towards work, I think people must see me as such a unique being.

2006-09-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

It's all here in blackwhite.

In George Orwell's novel 1984 computers are used by governments to enslave humanity, it is an awesome read with some very cool concepts one of which is Newspeak. My al time favourite term and one very relevant to this day and age and in particular this post is Blackwhite.

Blackwhite- The ability to accept whatever "truth" the party puts out, no matter how absurd it may be. Orwell described it as "...loyal willingness to say black is white when party discipline demands this. It also means the ability to believe that black is white, and more, to know black is white, and forget that one has ever believed the contrary." George Orwell 1984 Principles of newspeak.

We are currently facing a media frenzy in Australia over the death of Steve "crocodile hunter" Irwin who lost his life perusing footage of a sting ray in Australia's North. Just over one year ago it was known that Steve Irwin was a buffoon, an international laughing stock and irresponsible father, See HWT February 24, 2005** . Prior to the death of Steve we knew and had photos to prove he would recklessly dangle infants in front of crocs, who continuously provoked animals without reason, We had footage of him making a fool of not only himself, but of Australians on the world stage, His feature movie.. *shudders*

The last few days we have been shown a new "truth" A gentle man, who loves his children, a fantastic father, a family man, a conservationist, who would never provoke an animal, a simple bloke, modest to the end, all of the large billboards with his photo on them had been airbrushed out, to show that humble side of the man. A man so noble he refused a state funeral from the grave.

In one story we see a man looking deranged and dangling a helpless infant into the jaws of a crocodile, today we see the same man cuddled up around his children and wife, looking happy and a candidate for father of the year. The same people who wrote letters condemning his irresponsibility now sing his praises, in a moment the masses have forgotten ad moved on. From village idiot to model Australian in two swipes of a stingray's tail.

***disclaimer this post is not Steve Irwin Bashing it is merely a good example of human conditioning and ignoring contradiction. Such as army intelligence. This is not to belittle the loss of life of a man who although led a life full of egocentricity and bizarre antics, but did do a lot for conservation in Australia and the world. In truth my heart goes out to his family and children left without a father, not to mention the shamefull media circus circling around his carcass ***

** http://www.smh.com.au/news/National/Steve-Irwin-baby-concerns-prompt-law-change/2005/02/23/1109046983142.html

2006-09-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

Inspired by my incredable wife to be thank you for an amazing weekend

The Joy of Snacks….
(AKA the perfect marriage)

Ingredients;
A heap of olive oil

Chorizo and Apple Cider
500g Chorizo Sausages sliced
Apple Cider
Bay leaves*4

Tortila
Desiree potatoes 400 grams thinly sliced
Brown onion sliced and diced
6 eggs lightly beaten

Escavilla
3 capsicums quartered
egg plant cut into thin strips
cherry tomatoes halved
red onion sliced
sherry vinegar. splash
Several beers (Mexican or Spanish) opened and consumed with a slice of lime/lemon in the top. To be consumed through out the process

Start the morning with a long and frank discussion about where you want to be in three years, and how hard a back packers would be to set up. Fantasise about the perfect location argue over Brisbane or Canada. Describe how awesome it would be to bring kids up around many fascinating people. Argue over what their first language will be French, Spanish or something else. Start preparing capsicum, while partner is not looking steal a piece, pretend they havn’t seen it try and look dignified and say I love ou with a piece of capsicum in your mouth, “uh wuv oo”.. Wait until partner does same pretend it is abhorrent and unhygienic. Kiss her on the forehead. Prepare all the above ingredients as specified. In a sauce pan, fry up onion and eggplant strips in a quarter of a cup of olive oil. Important note any time olive oil is mentioned one must do a bad pop eye impression a ga ga ga ga. Cook until egg plant is golden brown and the onion goes clear Grill capsicum until the skin blisters and burns transfer to a plastic bag seal and leave sit for 5 mins, peel the burnt skin and slice length wise. Point at chopping board, advise you are bored. Listen to respective groan dodge respective punch. Add cherry tomatoes and vinegar, cook for a couple more minutes add capsicum strips and heat through for 5 minutes. Stare lovingly at your partner, until she giggles. Serve garnished with parsley.

Thinly slice the potato, and fry up the potato with onion, in a fair quantity of olive oil (not forgetting pop eye), lightly beat the eggs. When asked to stir the potatoes stick tongue out and go nah nah… Listen to respective groan dodge respective punch.. After 20 minutes the potato will have softened and the onion will have gone white. Add Eggs cook until tortilla begins to set. Pour in fry pan with high sides, cook until fluffy. Alternatively burn the eggs and spend the next three days scrubbing potato from the pot.

Slice up chorizo sausages, drink to silly dreams and the absurdity of life. Chink glasses and kiss. Begin to fry sausages until brown, drain excess oil, add apple cider cook until it becomes syrupy.

Serve in front of Madagascar (DVD), laugh about time in Spain, and watching it in Spanish with a train load of people singing and laughing. Finish last beers, snuggle up, and just enjoy the greatest gift we have…life.

2006-08-25T21:16:00.000-07:00

Is there a worse 3-letter combination than why? We wake up, we go to work, we come home, we worry about finances, we sleep and worry about work, we live our lives with such passion and such fury, we take all we do with such seriousness, we believe in the importance of our actions..... Then one day one word throws us off our feet. Why? Then we see it our real importance, we are so tiny and insignificant, rapidly spinning around a very unimportant and un regarded star. We notice how futile and merit less our actions are no matter how morally just.. We forget for one horrible moment how to live. Why am I doing this, as it will effect nothing? Why should i love as all i love will also pass? Why should I struggle and strive for greatness as all memory will be lost like tears in rain?

We despair, all is meaningless all is lost, god does not exist or care....

*Click*

The mental protection kill switch engages...we cant cope with the truth, we know the truth deep down, but we choose to ignore it, we go back to living our lives, pretending that everything we say and do means something. The collision of pretence that our lives are important and the reality that our lives are insignificant and meaningless.....

The true absurdity of life....

Life as absurd. Many would say that life is absurd due to it length, nothing could be further from the truth, consider the mouse if you will.... Due to high levels of mitochondrial oxidative damage its life expectancy is significantly shorter.. Approx three years, but we do not consider its life absurd. It eats, it shits, it bonks it dies.... Simple. Or if will consider the life of a cocky they live a comparable life expectancy to us, yet we do not consider their life absurd. No the Absurdity of life must come from something universal.

Our lives are absurd due to their lack of meaning, yes life is meaningless, but meaning less does not always equate to absurdity. As an example moving a all the cups from one cupboard to another may be meaningless if just done on a whim, but it is not absurd, merely pointless.

Meaning: What if we are food for an advanced species, some of us a light snack others a three course meal. Our lives would have meaning, but it is subjective our lives have meaning but only to those who wish to consume us. In terms of objective meaning our lives would only be meaningful if the beings which consume us had meaning. Our lives would have meaning if our lives had meaning to God. History has shown evidently that we don’t mean that much to our creator. Perhaps god is a societies kill switch instead of facing the indignation of our meaningless existence. We cant cope with the truth so we create a god in our image to give our lives some point or purpose.

Absurdity survivors guide......

1) Lighten up, sure your on a forgotten dust bowl surrounded by psychotic apes, but it can be a lot of fun. Enjoy your life realise that truth that nothing matter and all actions have equal merit, live for the moment stop reading blogs and take up extreme sports.

2) Revel in your absurdity: dye your hair blue, make a fool out of yourself, go to dinner parties in your dressing gown, run a cactus for local government (cant do a worse job). Life is absurd cant beat em join em.

3) If nothing truly matters than neither does this. By worrying about your life you are merely feeding the absurdity of pretence and reality.

2006-08-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

Many years ago there was a helicopter pilot named bobby. Bobby was flying amongst the skyscrapers of the city and became frightfully lost, he could no longer remember where he airfield was, and he was running low on fuel. In desperation he decided to ask a young man in an office window for directions. Grabbing a piece of paper from the chopper he wrote WHERE AM I? in big bold letters and held it to the window. The young man looked at the note, looked at Bobby scratched his head and wrote back YOU'RE IN A HELICOPTER. From there bobby grabbed the stick and flew straight back to the airfield.

How did you know where you were from those instructions the other pilots asked. Bobby said "it was simple. I knew who ran the building and could work out my location. That had to be the Microsoft technical support building the information was accurate but useless none the less."

Which leads me onto Pascals Wager, the information is accurate but useless none the less.

There is a game of chance being played at an infinite distance to us, win an infinite prize, or suffer an infinite punishment, all for a finite stake.

The argument is simple logic, you believe that god exists, you adopt a Christian lifestyle, if god exists you get it all paradise and infinite rewards, if you are wrong you might loose out on the sex drugs and rock and roll side of life, but not a great loss. If you choose to say God doesn’t exist you may gain a little an impious life has its benefits as we know anything you enjoy is either illegal, immoral or fattening, but the gain is only finite, but if you are wrong and god doesn’t exist (you are in for such a smiting) the punishment is infinite, Hell. So logically you such bet on the better reward, as long as the probability of god is greater than zero, your logical bet is on the belief in god.

E=pR+g
Where E is the enjoyment factor of life inclusive of afterlife, p is the probability of god, R is the reward positive or neg infinity and g is the earthly gains.

Major problems:
I cannot force myself to believe in God just because of a logical argument. Just as I cannot believe John Howard is a far and honourable man regardless of the reward that is offered. This does hold true but in accepting the wager one must accept a Christian way of life, take communion, enjoy fellow ship and you will come to know gods greatness.

Mercenary character: If I was god I would smite those who signed up merely for reward. This is true, this is not faith, but as above adopting the lifestyle will lead to a pious life and a true love of the almighty.

Many Gods Problem: which god does one bet upon, imagine a reclusive god who has vowed to smite all that follow him, his probability is not zero, so the logical bet is for disbelief. The Probability of any omnipotent being is not zero therefore the wager holds true for all religions. One should have faith yes but in what. Logic once again comes through to save the day.
Maybe we take it as a job interview look for the highest volume of work, the most experience as a god. Jesus has only been around for a few thousand years, so RA really has the experience over him. Perhaps we should aim most sightings, more believable God, and of course the theistic bikini contest . Although I do not believe one can know god and it is arrogant to assume otherwise. How can one claim knowledge of what is intrinsically ineffable.

Unfortunately this is where the wager does fall short. Due to the nature of infinite rewards.

Infinite reward problem. I am having a raffle the reward a wallet of infinite money and splendour, all it will cost is everything you will ever own. Logic says, finite stake, finite chance of winning, infinite reward, logic says go for it. Yet I don’t think I will sell too many tickets.

Pascals wager is a charming yet crudely applied logic, it does suggest that logically it is in your best interests to have faith, but is unfortunately a little hazy on the details due to the nature of the infinite rewards. My bet is to live a good life, think for yourself and follow the parts of any religion which seems right, and just hope it is good enough for gods high standards.

2006-08-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

The story you are about to read is not a happy tale. If you are looking for a story full of smiles and sun shine you should look elsewhere. Our story is a tale of misplaced faith, a tale of betrayal and of pettiness. Our story in fact is the story of a man from Uz, a man who hated evil, loved his family and quite rightly so feared god. This man's name was Job.

Job was the quiet pious sort, not a care in the world, wealthy having seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, and of course five hundred she asses. Not only was he rich in material possessions, Job had an amazing family seven sons and three daughters. Job was a man who had it all, until one day……

A fallen angel arrived unannounced or invited to a heaven work function on the outskirts of Uz, there was much to drink so the extra tag along had not effected the party budget. God after sighting Satan said to him, "that is Job down there in the valley, he is pious and there are no other servants like him in the land, he praises and loves me." To which the lord of darkness replied "he only loves you because of what you have given him, take t away and he will curse you" God says to Satan "that sounds like a bet your on."

Back in the land of Uz Job is visited by three messengers, the first approaches job to tell him, that all of the oxen had been slain and the she asses. Not only that but the bandits had put his servants to the blade. Before Job could deal with this grievous news a second messenger arrives to tell job that the fires of god had consumed his sheep and that only he had survives the flames. Job was over come with grief, but as they say bad luck always comes in threes. The final messenger arrives to tell job his family had been crushed, the roof of his brothers house had collapsed there are no survivors. Job of course distraught, did want any father would do, he shaved his head and prayed to the God that had taken the joys of his life from him.

God speaks to Satan once more, "You have cursed him yet he still loves me, he praises me, by the way you owe me a Tenner." To which Satan replies "double or nothing, he still has his health what if I curse his body surely he will hate you then." God says "ok but I will watch over him, leave him his life and we shall see."

Satan strikes Job down with boils and blisters and curses his health. All is lost to Job no family no health nothing except the desert. Job curses God and wishes for death, Satan wins the bet. Job is covered with the blisters and boils, he turns his back on god, speaks ill of him. He is left in this state until he repents for cursing god.

God in turns gives Job not just his old crappy family but a new family, with more sons and more daughters, and more oxen and she asses and Job lives to a ripe old age a happy man.

This is a story with mixed messages, is it a story of great faith will be rewarded or the folly of faith. This story is analogous to that of a wife coming home to an abusive husband, stays from great love or great fear. The trials of Job are not productive and not within the Modus operandi of omni benevolent being.

2006-07-30T00:04:00.000-07:00

Guide to life:
1. Obtain a small plastic tub
2. Puncture the tub using a small knitting needle, creating four small holes in the base of the tub.
3. Fill your tub with a small amount of potting mix.
4. Fill a saucer of water and place the tub containing the potting mix in it.
5. Allow the soil in the tub to soak, so it is moist right through.
6. Take some seeds and place them approximately 1 cm beneath the soil surface.
7. cover the tub with a lid which has also been punctured to allow air flow, place this in a warm dark cupboard.
8. Every few days check the water levels to make sure that the soil does not dry out.
9. Eventually the emerging plant will puncture through the seed coat and move towards the surface.
10. On the emergence of leaves the plant may be moved into full sun.
11. As the plant grows it will need transplantation into a larger container, it will also require shaping and moulding through years of care.

Life even simple life never ceases to amaze me, Inside a tiny seed is contained all the genetic data to create a giant tree. The information for different cell types for the root, for photosynthetic cells, for nutrient transport, and to allow the passage of gases. In a world where there is so much death and destruction to focus on sometimes we forget to focus on the real miracles. Life

2006-07-25T00:06:00.000-07:00

Recent Editions to the oxford esoteric dictionary
Thanks Stacy for the email.

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot
of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb
success and advancement by sucking up to the boss
rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something
loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over
the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to
applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children
and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no
boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being
stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking
the crap out of an electronic device to get it to
work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions
that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the
dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested
document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've
hit 'reply all')

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking
home after a booze cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe
arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too
drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and
where you've come from.

BOBFOC. Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually
after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your
bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every
10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple
of Britney's please"

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence,
the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant.
The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that
staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their
level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e.
extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but
there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in,
you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night
while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks
away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly
packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on
Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the
stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed
instead.

NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her,
so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SALAD-DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

2006-07-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

Moral Evil and Free will.

The bible and the first sin: Genesis 3:16-17… And the lord commanded the man saying, of every tree of the garden thou mayest* freely eat. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it, for in that day thou shalt sure die.

First problem. Is there any guesses as to what happened shortly after? This is analogous to placing a large red button in the middle of a kinder garden and saying "What ever you do not hit this red button, I'm not telling you fully what it will do, just don’t press it." How long do you believe it would take before little hands found it? Maybe 5 or 10 minutes?

The second is an offence to logic. Yes it is the tree of good and evil, but how would one know disobeying god was a sin unless they had partaken of the fruit? Would it be fair or in the modus Operandi of an omni benevolent being to punish one who did not know that their actions were in fact wrong? This does not absolve god** of moral evil, if anything God is too blame for its entrance into the world.

God, Omniscience, and fate: Almost all world religions have an aspect of fatalism. All of our actions are predicated by the Gods. Our actions good or ill, are already known and written in the heavens, sometimes relayed to those on earth, angels visiting Mary, the dreams of Joseph and Pharaoh, the book of revelation, and the promises to Moses. Fate removes free will; perhaps we are free to choose if we accept our fate? Perhaps, but many of the bible seem cruelly coerced into doing the bidding of the master. Death in the family, war and famine all leading onto "Gods great plan."

Moving on from biblical references God in most religions appears to be an omniscient being. God is all seeing all knowing, so the future has already been revealed to God. How can we still have free will if our future and fate is already known? Our future is inescapable; we march towards our doom blindly. We can not change our future anymore than we can change our past.

Illusion of Free will: You are free to minimise this window… to stop reading this blog…what if I said the minimise button was disabled? I gave you a choice, yet only one path was actually feasible. Is that free will, I knew and was able to predict that you would wish to continue reading this idle Tuesdays work, instead of minimising and doing something else. How many people have just pressed the minimise button to make sure?*** This is a nice lead in to Determinism.

Determinism: We are lead once again back to mouse trap. Why does the cage fall? Because of elderly gentleman breaking his neck diving into an empty tub, so on and so forth….all the way back to the turning of the handle. All events happen due to events preceding them, from social problems, alcoholic parents having alcoholic children, to world wars. Why did you bomb them? Because they bombed us. Why did they bomb us? Because we bombed them. All things happen for a reason unfortunately we tend to look in front to find it, the past controls our future. Any "free action" could have been in fact predicted once we understand everything about everything. Genetics, chemical signalling, the electrical impulses in our brains, physics and chemistry, we will be able to predict with 100% certainty the actions of the individual or group, when we fully understand such maters.
There comes a time in the life of a philosopher or other person with his head in the clouds, to make an actual point. Moral evil is only an extension of natural evil due to an illusion of free will. The suffering we impose upon each other does not come from free or moral choices, regardless of religious (fatalistic) or philosophical (determinist) ideals. The "choices" we make are determined by multiple social, economic and genetic factors, and given an infinite knowledge of said factors we could accurately predict the so called free choices of any individual or group. As indignant as it sounds we are merely cogs in the machine that is our Earth, Yes we make decisions but these decisions are not in fact free, it is merely an illusion.

* Mayest: This was in common usage until human beings discovered spell check.
** The creation story not only tries absolve god of guilt it then tries to shift the blame onto woman. Eve is the foul temptress that lures Adam into sin. In many ways the bible can be a misogynistic handbook.
***Nostradamus eat your heart out.

2006-07-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.notgoodenough.org
I read from the site Not Good Enough Dot Org. I am filled with a sense of hatred and loathing for my fellow man. I hear their petty complaints they screech at me, they hurt me. Words wasted on such triviality, people complaining about delays in airports rude service, companies taking products off the market because they don’t sell.

Pathetic wretches, completely oblivious to how amazing it is that they are alive, the incredible improbability of their own existence, their complete ingratitude that they are ok, in one piece. In thanks of the miracle of life; they complain over things which are of no consequence. Imagine their live if they had something truly worthwhile to complain about, every day we illegally detain refugees in this country, imagine a day in their shoes, imagine their thoughts of someone who's most pressing concern was a 5 minute wait at the bank. Imagine having to live a week in the war torn west bank, your most pressing concern is survival, not the delivery time of your pizza. It is all a matter of perspective.

We have been given great gifts in our lives, the ability to think, to speak, to be conscious of our own existence. With communication, we gripe, we complain, we loose all perspective wrapped up in our own personal pointless struggles, we flounder like the fat pigs that we are. Our intelligence and our minds we squander, we stare idly at coloured boxes for hours on end instead of challenging ourselves, we let people tell us what to think instead of thinking for ourselves. We destroy our minds with intoxicants and drugs because we can no longer face ourselves. We pay heed to advertising, and the petty escapism of reality TV instead of facing the true struggles of our time. Poverty, crime, wars in country names we can't pronounce these things do not trouble us, not if we have credit cards, cars, microwaves and digital televisions.

We are selfish, horrible and unworthy of the infinite love of any being, until we can find ourselves, we are nothing. The distractions of life will always prevail.

Know Thy Self

2006-07-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

Genesis 1:26
And God Said. Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: but lets make him from a distance, lets try and design the earth over my shoulder using a mirrow, or perhaps just by proxy while chilling out with the other gods.

Welcome to Irenaean Theodicy. Which states that we were made at a distance to our creator, not a spacial distance, but an epistemic* distance. If man kind had been created in the direct presence of god and recieved the full force of his grace we would have no true freedom from God. Humans making free and moral decisions is ultimately more valuable than a world created in which all decisions could only be good.

It is suggested that this earth is one of soul making, one in which we are come freely to God making our own choices independent of the will of the maker.

This distance seems contradictory to our (xtain) conception of God. This is almost a reversion to the remote god of Aristottle, not one which someone could build an inter personal relationship with as most evangelistic christains believe.

As per usual moral evils are rescued by the existance of free will. For now. But what of natural evils, the pain and suffering that plaugues our lands. Fossil records indicate the presence of disease, arthitus and various medical conditions before man had set foot upon the earth, was this suffering nesscessary. Unfortunately here is where this theodicy falls drastically short unless we subscribe to a being that finds
the needless suffering of animals to be nesscessary, or a God of inconsistancies (see the bible) god will never be absolved.

*a distance in this case in knowlege. Not all of Gods Grace, or goodness in terms of knowlege.

2006-07-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

There is many references within this to John Hick and The Problem of Evil.

Continuing on from the actual problems itself there are many Theodicys to combat the problem of evil or at least lessen the blow.

Augustinian Theodicy: This holds firstly that the universe and all things contained within it are good. It was created by a good god for what was clearly a good purpose.
Augustine uses the example of blindness.

'The only "thing" involved is the eye, which is in itself good. The evil of blindness lays in the improper function of the eye.'

Put simply evil is the perversion of what is good.

How did evil come about, why did god permit evil to come about? Evil came about due to the existance of free will, which is "good", that is the free will of humans and gods angels (lucifer). This fall from gods grace is the begginings of moral evil. Free will goes a long in explaining moral evil, but what of natural evil? Augustine attempts to answer this seeing evil as. "All evil is sin or punnishment of sin"

He goes on further to tie in the existance of hell, saying the punnishment for sin corrects the dishonour of sin. This is a moral balance cancelling out sin, restoring god perfect and good universe. This takes the responcibility from god and places it with us, the sinners.

Omnipotence is the fatal flaw in this theodicy, would not a perfectly good god, design the best, and good creatures. Surely an omnipotent being could design perfectly good creatures, being who would not stray. The universe is not how god wished it to be, therefore either god is limited. God still created the beings who went evil, (knowingly due to omniscience) so god is still responcible for the evil.

Punishment of sin? Unfortunately, as avidly shown in fossil records, disease, starvation, and natural evil, existed well before the time of man. Unless god has decided the suffering of animals is nesscessary?

Punnishment of sin cancelling out the existance of sin. Firstly i have a huge logical objection to the concept of hell. Eternal Punnishment serves no logical purpose. Prisons and punnishment are there firstly to deter one from a less than moral life, secondly if the deterent fails to reform one back onto the "right Path". My second objection is a matter of scale, how can a finite crime be punnished by an infinite punishment. Surely this is incongruous with an omni benevolent being. Punishment does not cancel out sin, it merely provides more suffering, a universe of infinate suffering for an infinite time.

2006-07-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

*** This post has appeared previously and was deleted due to the original shambles I made of it*****

Our world runs rife with evil, companies profiting from the misery of others, children exploited in sweat shops to produce shoes, women forced to choose between destitution and selling their bodies. We live in a world full of crime, full of anger and injustice how can an omni benevolent being permit such atrocities to continue.

Before we dive head first into a topic that is very close to my heart and the hearts of other atheists / agnostics, the Problem of Evil; we need to explain certain terms and what is classed as evil….

Evil can exist in 2 forms. Moral evil and Natural evil.

Moral evil is the actions of men, the things that we do individually and collectively to each other and to other groups. Examples of these include theft, murder, rape, John Howard's IR laws, war, duct taping someone to a chair and making them listen to Celine Dion's greatest hits album for an entire day. Put simply the actions of people which lead to suffering of varying degrees.

Natural evil is what we have no control over which leads to suffering on the planet. Some examples are earthquakes, Tsunamis, horrible accidents (for example the derailment of the Spanish train last week), Celine Dion. All of which has happened without the intervention of man.

Why inaction is evil. Inaction is not inherently evil, for example; there is a house on fire, a man stands idly by while the occupants bash against a door blocked on the outside, the man could without risk to himself open the door but refuses to do so. These actions are not technically evil, it was not him who set the blaze, or he was not the man who blocked the door, he is absolved of guilt from the cause of the fire or the cause of death. However one could not say that he had acted in a fashion that one would call good. Is there truly and excuse for the inaction of god?

To take a reasonably current example... the 2004 Tsunami, which took a mind numbing toll of 186,983 dead . How could an omni benevolent stand idly by and watch such suffering?

"It is all part of god's plan" Possibly the biggest cop out to an actual answer that the church has ever put forward. In terms of moral evil, any successful action (an action which achieves it's aim) was right in happening, if it was not part of god's plan it would not have been permitted, men would be absolved of guilt from even the most heinous of actions. . By this excuse of god inaction we could actively, kill, maim, steal and all of the other horrible things we do to one another, safe in the knowledge that if it wasn't meant to happen god would not allow it...

"It's ok they all went to heaven" Christianity uses this when there is great suffering of an individual and the family is in need of some solace. This is ok for the individual, but misses/ misdirects the point of the argument. Not the reward of the individual but wether the suffering was necessary, and can god be justified in inaction. Does it excuse god when he could prevent the suffering yet does nothing.
Maybe god feels if he actively contributes we will loose faith. God says, "I don't need proof, proof denies faith and with out faith I am nothing"

Mental images begin to form as the hand of god sweeps the drowning victims from the water and back to the firmament. The people cheer, the church is vindicated, everyone buys an I heart god T shirt. For god to not be inactive it does not take an event of astronomical proportions. George bushes re election could have been avoided due to a small yet subtle heart attack. The suffering of the Iraqis under Saddam, a freak accident the people are saved no one suspects god. Faith continues the world is happy. God does not need to show himself to be active in the world.

"God uses suffering to produce a form of moral urgency/necessity" We do see some of the greatest moments of human achievement within the darkest hours of our time. Heroes, people risking their lives for others. Governments putting aside petty struggles for the "common good*" donations flooding in the help the people in need. Could this be done on a lesser scale, why the loss of life, why not the risk of loss of life, the same urgency is needed to avoid disaster. One would expect the same from a near miss as a hit for someone crossing the road, both will learn the lesson adequately with a lesser degree of suffering. A caring parent will allow a child to scrape it's knee to learn the dangers of riding a bike, however one could not say the same of a parent who tried o kill their child to teach the same lesson, or lesson to other children.

This also poses the problem. What happens when the levels of moral urgency drop below the desired levels, would we expect and omni benevolent being to take active part in causing evil, to bring us all together, to increase the level of moral urgency. Surely we could no longer see this as omni benevolence.

Free will: OK this is the knottiest of all topics, I do not actually believe in free will, this will discussed ad nauseum at a later date. This may excuse the actions of men.

*Yet even the bible takes a fatalistic view point that all fates are pre decided, that we are just part of gods plan. Moral evil and Judas. Without the betrayal of Judas of Jesus the church would not be as big as it is today. Jesus tells Judas of what his future actions will be it is predestined, how can an action in which you have no choice in be immoral, the overall cruel premeditation of the plan comes from the top. *

As for natural evil, free will has no impact on that’s outcome, there fore we shall move on.

This is quite a long topic and will be continued at a later date.

Enjoy

Aidan.

2006-07-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Argument derailed......

I was going to continue on with the problem of evil but I have decided i am beging to take myself to seriously.. Also the post was a tad disjointed so i wish to revise the original....

Today is a look at a hobby of mine, watching people miss trains.

All aspects of the human condition for good or ill can be seen within something so simple.

Ambition: our runner see his goal, he knows what must be done, the eyes narrow, the head lowers he begins to run. All his hopes pegged on a single attempt, it's all or nothing, it is his moment.

Fear: The beeps,the horrible beeps, the doors are closing, he knows its too late, he will never make it.

Persistance and absurdity: He knows now his efforts are futile, still he runs, the absurdity coming from the pretence and the reality that he wont make it.

Hopes and Dreams: Even though he wont make he stil holds that one slither of hope, the driver may see him, god may be listening, someone might take it upon themselves to hold the door. Even in failure we still have hope.

Anger and desparation: He missed it, the briefcase come crashing down, "again" is the battle cry.

Absence of personal responcibility: Bloody (insert train provider here) ran early, 15 seconds early cant believe, they are always late thats why i took my time. Obviously their fault. Not enough trains running i have to wait 15 minutes now. Because of them i will be late.

Paranoia: It only happens to me, surely the driver saw me, he did it on purpose.

I love watching the full range f emotions, its funny how such a trivial event can produce so much, when people in the most stressful of circumstances generaly react calmly to survive.....

2006-06-29T00:40:00.000-07:00

This is a little out of sinc with the topic but here is a small diaglouge i wrote in my early days on Teleology....

This was written some 12 months ago as part of a uni elective.

Enjoy

Ecats: There is no proof of god

Nadia: The proof of god is everywhere: the wonders of the world, the miracles of life, the mind numbing vastness and beauty of the universe.

Ecats: All of which can be explained naturalistically, by chance and random patterns forming the beauty which we see in the night sky, or smiles of a new born baby.

Nadia: All things can be used to prove god by design, this is known as teleological argument. Take for example the human body. It has complex chemical signalling systems, and the sheer brilliance of design of the eye is astounding. It is a body designed to be the perfect caretaker of the earth.

Ecats: Perfect? Hardly! Take the knee for example, perhaps the most crudely designed of hinges. Even a simple carpenter could design a more sturdy and reliable hinge. Are we to believe that an all powerful God is a simpleton? Surely an omnipotent being would only design a perfect being. What about organs without function or a redundant function? Organs such as the appendix or the spleen(1) . Their functions are superfluous and unnecessary; the body would function just as well without them. What is the purpose of retaining them? How about disease, or cancer and defects, this surely adds doubt to this form being a design?

Nadia: A fair criticism, and to answer such points I shall employ an analogy, which was originally put forward by William Paley (2) . Think of a watch: many complicated working parts, working towards an overall function. It doesn’t matter if all the parts don’t always work, or we do not always know the function of the parts in question, the interaction of the parts alone shows intelligent design. Design of such perfection and complexity could only come from a perfect being, such as God.

Ecats: A good analogy, but there are naturalistic explanations, without falling back to the supernatural; where better to look for the answers to nature than nature? For example, evolution and natural selection. Centuries of evolution and many natural selection events may have led to the design of our current form. Using naturalistic explanations we are able to gain hard evidence by use of fossils and an observed conservation in the DNA of many evolutionary ancestors, such as an 98% synteny (3) between humans and chimpanzees. Also why must there be a designer? If the designer is in fact perfect, surely this is further evidence of design by your same logic, and should lead to the designer of the designer and so forth.

Nadia: Congratulations you have created an infinite regression, which is of no use to us at all, which is as hard to envisage as an infinite series. You argue natural selection and evolution as if proven, however many links within the alleged origins of our species are still unaccounted for, even after hundreds of years of searching.

Ecats: Well the fossil record is far from incomplete and each day we find more evidence towards the theory.

Nadia: Consider a man being tried for murder, would a jury not convict the man on the strength of the argument that more evidence may turn up to clear his name at a later date?

Ecats: Possibly not, but the fact still remains there is still more physical evidence to support a naturalistic argument, than to rely on the explanation of creation through a supernatural being.

Nadia: Each to their own dear Ecats, each to their own.

1 Neither is totally functionless, the spleen creates lymphocytes and acts as a filter of red blood cells, the appendix also has immune functions and is utilised in digesting raw plant matter. Their functions are however non essential and the body can continue to survive without their presence.
2 Paley, W. (1802) Natural Theology, or Evidences of the Existence of a Deity Collected from the Appearances of Nature.
3 Presence of conserved genes between 2 different species of regions of chromosomes with the genes in the same order.

2006-06-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

Ok people are now reading this i have to make the words count....

Cosmological argument (causa prima) *first cause*

This is an idea that has been thrown around since the time of Aristottle, the first case argument. AKA why Playing "mouse trap" makes you god..

The cage falls, because the man jumps in the tub, only because a ball falls on the board via a bath tub, which of course only happens because annother ball ran down the stairs and onto a big red slide, but surely this couldnt happen unless a boot (not the canadian about) kicked a bucket, which does not hapen unless the handle is wound.

The mouse trap falls, via a series of intermediates, the root cause is the winding of the handle. The begining of the sequence, god.....

Time like all things needs a beggining a middle and an end. It is impossible to to think of a infinite regression, it had to start at "sometime, " and come from somewhere and the only logical possibility is god...

First problem: We can not envisage the infinite, one would expect by definition that we couldnt. Just because we cannot imagine an infinitately long history it does not mean it can not exist..

Causa prima alpha: If god caused everything what caused god? Then what caused gods god, and so on and so forth at some point on either a theistic or atheistic standpoint one must accept at somepoint something can from nothing...

*As a brief aside when we boil right down to it all things are really made of nothing, consider an atom, majority is empty space, a Pea (the nucleus) in the size a football stadium.**

Remoteness of god: If god created the universe, it was created before time, time and space being related. Where does this leave god? A remote or impersonal god is not the common perception, outside of time god would merely be. This is not the god of the Christians, a god which you can build a personal relationship with. This remote god if not dead would be as good as....

First and final flaw: Is simply within the analogy, it is a matter of scale, how can one take the finite to prove the infinite. How can one relate a finite effect to an infinite cause? (David Hume)

The gears will turn the cage will fall, but it is not God that drives this. Mouse trap will be put away, it caused too many fights when my firends hogged the dice as the cage was falling so i couldnt move my piece....

2006-06-25T18:02:00.000-07:00

The arrow, for example, requires an archer. Everything in nature, therefore is directed to its goal by someone with understanding, and this we call God..

This is part of a simple teleological argument, put forward by St Thomas Aquinas. Teleological arguments in terms of theology can be best expressed as proof by design.

Take for example the human eye, Photosensitive cells, incredably complicated signaling pathways, Various cells types, the formation of a lense, the protective layers, and even colouring for a LEVEL OF INDIVIDUALITY. Something complicated, something which you would look at and say "Something so incredible could not merely have happened by accident. How could this be anything other than designed or pre meditated. Who else could create something so amazing except god."

For me this seems a tad simplified, imagine if you will a puddle of water. It takes on the shape of its crater, "wow" thinks the water, " this hole in the ground fits so perfectly it must have been made for me."

Yes the world can be an amazing place, but why do we search the heavens for answers that can be found at our feet. Everyday we adapt to our environment, the environment the planet is NOT suited perfectly to our needs, we burn foosil fuels to stay warm, wear clothes, Manufacture products to make our lives easier. Perhaps these ideas come from god. Perhaps god is not the archer but merely one who guides the arrow.

Evolution and god.
If god was controlling evolution what would we see. Perfection, no cancer, no defects, no unnesscessary changes to genetic structure all things would have a place and a purpose. What we see, 1.5% of the genome is actual coding, the rest junk or repeats. Cells which due to changes become uncontrolled and invasive, even colonising other tissues. We see children being born with birth defects, people who noww have t adapt to furter adversity in an all ready challenging world.
God is an answer to a question when logic cant prevail. WE cant see the answers as yet, we have "theories". Evolution being a main one and a lot of evidence to suggest that, endosymbiotic cell signalling, synteny between species, fossil record ( granted with a few glaring records and a history fraud), but their is evidence. For god their is nothing but a calm feeling and an intangiable answer to make us feel better..

Design flaws.
Reasons why i am glad god is not an designer.

The knee:
When aguing from teleology, we take something complicated and say wow it is amazing how this was designed. What about something simple. The Knee. It is one of the worst designed hinges in history, a drunken architect could design a better hinge. Are we really to belive this was the best an omniscent, omnipotent being could come up with.

The Cocunut. The coconut posibly one of the most useful things on the planet, you can eat the flesh, drink the fluid, and the shells are useful as bowls or utensils. Now; lets put it all the way up there. Was god high, maybe this is just for a laugh like the producer of a reality tv show.

And the less said about the penis the better...
If that is the best design i would hate to se the others

Things just come about becasue they are forced too, we find a way to survive it is what compels us on, plants on, anmals on. Nothing more nothing less. We can explain it with god taking an active interest in the grass growing.......