Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A New Start will be back after these brief messages….

Garden over growing with tomatoes? Has one plant taken over half the garden? Too hot to cook anything substantial but your still hungry? Would like to the see that corner of the backyard again?

You need Garden Gazpacho Soup..

Made originally in the sunny climes of Spain now we can bring the taste of the Mediterranean shores to your door step.

As Seen on the hit series "Red Dwarf" when Arnold Rimmer describes the most embarrassing moment in his life, where he in fact, while sitting at the captains table no less, was served a beautiful bowl of gazpacho, which he in turn sent back to the kitchen for being ICE COLD. This he attributes to his failure to become an officer the rest of us realise that it is because he is a Smeg Head.

What you need…

Red onion

3 tomatoes



Olive Oil Splash

Tomato Juice enough to cover everything

Lemon Juice 3rd of a cup

Garlic about a clove

Hot fresh Buttered bread for a side dish

Firstly chop everything up nice ad small, add to a bowl and mix it all through. Pour tomato juice over the top until all ingredients are covered place in the fridge* then eat. Its that simple, just like playing the lottery, or performing neurosurgery.

And for the special touch if you want her to go all the way, guys you know what I'm talking about, you need its sister product Banana Sunday. Don’t let the name fool you they can be enjoyed anyday… Order Now and you will receive Aidans Greatest romantic meals the cookbook, how to look like you've had years in the kitchen, but are really just taking a stab.

Stocks are limited Order Now

*Leave for 24 hours for best results, management takes no responsibility in the case of catastrophic knife failure, eating too much, or revenge attacks from rogue tomatoes. New start, the words Red and The, are registered trade marks of Aidan Corp (where dreams come true) please note your dreams may differ to those of Aidan Corp and its stock holders.

WE now return you to the usual standard of socialistic clap trap about dream societies without rampant consumerism.


Thursday, February 22, 2007

Five years ago I was a raging rocker… Now I am an aging rocker. Its official I am the pensioner of power chords, a heat pack head banger, the Methuselah of the Mosh pit. Five years ago, I loved hard rock, screaming my prayers to the gods of rock, moshing in perfect depressive sync to bass back bone which drives the crowd, begging for just one more encore. Now on encore number two I wonder why they haven't wrapped it up yet, because the last train leaves in approximately 30 minutes and I have a meeting tomorrow. Five years ago my phone would ring from those I had embarrassed, or impressed the night before, now only my ears ring.

The crowds I once loved seem juvenile, I see young girls wearing Ramones tops, most of which believing it’s a fashion label. Or if they are a "fan", their favourite song is "Hey Ho Lets Go", better known to those of the rock 'n' roll generation as Blitzkrieg Bop. Even the classic "Sheena is a punk rocker" is lost on those who proclaim to be a massive Ramones fan.

I begin to say things like back in my day we had real musicians with artistic integrity, like the Smashing Pumpkins, Stabbing Westward, Marylin Manson, Sick Puppies, and Sevendust… I mention the pumpkins, "sorry I don’t like classical music". Even roadies in my day were better, now they wear belts, cant even see the arse crack, and don’t even get me started on the absence of beer guts in modern music…

Bands that I knew and loved grew old, all of a sudden the Beasty Boys are forty on tour away from wives and children singing "you gotta fight, for your right to party" although "you got to fight for your right to invite a small number of your friends around for quiet drinks" never was going to have the same appeal.

Other bands that remain have sold their souls to the commercial music industry, the best example being The Offspring…

From this awesome number, called Jennifer Lost the War..

"Phoebe lost the war today
There must be some mistake
Say it happens all the time
And it's said and done
Little Miss 15 65 Your soul remains unclaimed
Guess you must have really sinned

Morality won't help her
When she lies silent in a morgue
And all our sorrows left her
But will the morning headlines
Even say that it's a shame
What are we headin' for?"

To this original prankster….

Knock down the walls, it's alive in you
Knock down the place, you're alone it's true
Knock down the world, it's alive in you
You gotta keep your head up through it all
You're gonna
Bust out on it - original prankster
Break out yeah - original yeah
Bust out on it - original prankster
You never stop now, stop now
That's what the main man say

The fashions changed too, my Rocksedo has faded grey, my black jeans a ghost of their former selves, stained with the passion of hundreds of concerts, and the sweat of legions of fans, my black shirt ripped and torn, from the legion of arms of those grappling for a touch of a Rock God; but at least they still fit.

This year is promising to be a big year for me concert wise, I saw Vasco Era, and Howling Bells on Wednesday, I have Regurgitator on Sunday, Reel Big Fish in April.. They are nothing compared to the big one; NINE INCH NAILS are coming back to Melbourne, I bought my tickets this morning, and I feel like a kid again or at least an immature 18 year old… Hopefully I have a few more gigs left in me, but as I always say, and it applies to the fans

"When the ramp is no longer just for the equipment it's time to walk away"

I will always love the music, amazing lyrics, which make me shudder, which make me feel alive. Songs that have reached out when I needed someone, or something to carry on, Reznor who showed me it was ok to be angry or lost, Manson who said being different is cool, Chris Hall who touched my soul with his words, Jeff Martin whose voice and lyrics make my skin prick. They will always be in my life.

" There are so many things

We need so desperately
And the TV preaches

We can't live without them
You tell me what is neat
I'll tell ya what I believe
If I ever were without it
Then I'd be worthless

'Cause you are everything
The only thing that matters
You are everything
The only thing that I need
You are everything
The only thing that matters
Yes you are everything
You are the air I breathe"

Stabbing Westward- The only thing

Saturday, February 17, 2007

It is currently 37 ( 310K) degrees in down town Melbourne…. This heat is causing a high degree of writers block. Who can think of a witty, mature and coherent topic when the puddles of the city are 40% of the way to boiling? Questioning ones existence while pulling your sweat soaked underpants out of your butt crack seems somewhat incongruous.

Maybe I sweat therefore I am… Am I truly stuck to the leather couch, can I trust the perception of hearing the sucky noise as I pull away to fetch another stout is truly what I am hearing? Or is this just the way my mind perceives it.

How about a maths post? The difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius, and why any one would have water boiling at 32 degrees. Or the Kelvin scale and the impossibility of absolute zero, as no temperature would imply no movement, no movement would mean no mass, therefore impossible to reduce the temperature of any substance (as it has mass) to absolute zero.

Perhaps I could write a long and detailed view of the effects of sweat the function and operation of sweat glands. Or compile a list of those that don’t have them. Or the effects of Apocrine Sweat glands when coupled with a pair of bike shorts (The only contraceptive made from Lycra) the break down of the fatty material by bacteria in the particular region. (aka teenage male smell no mater how much deodorant they use they still smell) .

Or maybe a look at my personal favourite sweat gland, the Eccrine sweat glands, which pump gallons of salty, watery material all over your body, effectively cooling via loss of energy in evaporation, particularly latent heat of evaporation. It takes energy to change state, this energy input does not correspond to a change in temp, this energy is called latent heat… When changing from a liquid (sweat) to vapour (water vapour) heat energy from the skin is utilised, changes the state and as a result we feel cooler (could have fooled me) due to a reduction of heat energy.

Stuff it! I think I will just grab a beer and sit in front of the air conditioner… I wonder how it works?

Friday, February 16, 2007

It is official i am now a GLOGGER.... so far so good, no major crashes, or small fires...
Wish me luck with the my first serious post...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I know this is cowardly way to end this, public anonymous forum in front of faceless strangers, but as the song goes; I am in fact tempted by the fruit of another. It has been a great relationship; don’t get me wrong we worked so well together over 3 or 4 years, but we are drifting a part. With any long term relationship after a while you crave something exciting and something new. Something which suits the new you… And that’s why I must say good bye, I am sorry determinism I have started a relationship with existentialism…

"come on now don’t look at me like that, I know we will always be friends, remember the time I used to you to explain that criminals are merely a victim of circumstances, and everyone laughed at us?' " fun time fun times." Or when I tried to explain that playing mouse trap actually made you a god? Those times are gone, but we will always have the memories."

Why the change of heart I hear you ask? I guess it’s the little things, I see too many people hiding behind their circumstances; the world is against me, I cant win in an all male world, anyone that says you're paranoid is in on the plot. You were a comfort zone, somewhere I could hide, I was not responsible for my choices when I was with you, sure it may be a factors and influences, but you have to accept I can make my own choices now, more importantly I can be held accountable. Nature and Nurture sure there is a level of that, sure poverty increases crime but there is still the choice between "Right" and "Wrong".
Moral evil and determinism

Yes I know it ties in well with a remote and uncaring god via the causa prima arguments, but what of causa Sui, what about self respect, what about self discipline and control. I have lived by these why do you expect me not to expect the same of others.
What is Causa Prima

I know it hurts, but I am seeing people are responsible for their problems, debt especially, laziness and compliance drives these people, the path of least resistance, they can make an effort but only in an emergency. Why don’t they take control of there own lives?

Yes determinism its over, I promise I'll call you, hey we can even have coffee like we used to when I was at university. Ill think of you always..

The free moral agent


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Please note *** indicates audience participation required, if you don’t do it ill know.

This could mean only one thing, either the power bill hasn’t been paid or it is time for another instalment of Super Fiancé. Brought to you tonight by Ping golf supplies; the golf supplies named by a radar.

Look on the floor it’s a sponge, it's a mop…… No its super fiancé oops sorry Husband….Mild mannered consumer finance consultant and blogger extraordinaire by day….

Super grime fighter by night, in our last episode super husband had fought off the evil doctor Dentro and all was well in marriage land, its inhabitants happy living in wedded bliss. However in a fabric wholesaler far far away…***dun dun dun***

The evil Bruno Bad-Day ***boo*** sits and plots against Super husbands Beautiful and Intelligent wife. "And more horrible customer minions are coming your way," he screeches as he send wave after wave of unthinking minions poised to trample even the highest of spirits. Bruno laughs at the thought of the helpless vixen, ahem victim trapped under mountains of tedious paper work. " Never again will you see the enjoyment again" and he cackles to himself.***MWAH HA HA HA***

Meanwhile in the husband hovel…. The alarm screeches in to the night like the forced laughs of art house movie patrons, "What ho? A Foe" he cries out from behind the Ironing. "to the fiancé mobile" ***POW***And epic fight scene breaks out amongst the world of consumers ending in the untimely demise of Bruno bad-day in a freak snow mobile accident (which is of very little interest). The damage however is done, His wife sad and flat and in desperate need of help. ***GASP****

This calls for immediate romance…. *** awww*** He dives into the nearest cupboard and becomes Super Husband.***wolf whistle*** Only with his magical white tie and serving cloth, is he able to bring the beautiful Stacy back around, The protective ring of fire is set around the table to resemble two pin points of light, mood music to defend from the any unaccounted for complaints, non alcoholic wine and food because even superheros get hungry.

The meal is consumed, alas she is yet to recover only one thing can save her, an acient recipe pass on through the generations of super husbands, I speak of course of caramelised bananas, served a top of creamy vanilla ice cream, it is a last effort all the hopes of our young hero rest upon this chance…***silent nervous pause***

Success ***cheering***…. The gorgeous Stacy is happy once more and peace is returned to marriage land, much celebrating and rubbing of backs and feet ensued…

Yes the world was safe but for how long?*** look worried***

IN the next episode, cleaning the hair out of the sink, in which our hero reclaims the bathroom from the invading beauty products… Old questions will be answers and new answers will be questioned in the next exciting tale of SUPER HUSBAND.
***standing ovation*** **** take up golf***
back issue available here

Monday, February 05, 2007

A room with a brew, and that’s the yeast of my troubles.

It was standard weekend in the home of Stacy and Aidan, Saturday; Russian courses, a date in the city for coffee and then something a bit stronger afterwards, Sunday; late fees on videos, bopping to Beatle’s CDs, culminating in the creation of the best loaf of bread known to man. Yes we took the next step in throwing off the shackles of consumerism by making our own bread. No bread makers, no videos, just a happy couple laughing, mixing and baking, and finally ending with the spoils of the conflict smeared with the yeasty goodness of vegemite and piping hot green tea.

Over the last six months we have made an effort to live a simpler life, not fully intentionally granted, but bringing much warmth into the house.. There is always dinner on the table for whom ever comes in last. Happy meals cooked with love and fresh food, reducing the processing and unnecessary preservatives (salt excluded), everything from veggie burritos, to lasagnes, to soups of all varieties, stir fries, and of course my world famous caramelised bananas. The most recent addition to the happy recipe book of our lives is our own stout.

It is official I am the luckiest man on earth as the male fantasy of living in a brewery with a beautiful buxom blonde has become a reality. Not since my student days has the nectar of the gods flown so freely in my home, with its gorgeous dark colour, pristine white foamy head, and viscous trails running down my throat. Please note always drink responsibly and if you are going to wear a lampshade don’t let anyone get a photo.

You may ask, to what do I owe this great honour? What has given the greatest gift of all? Not the gods, but much, much smaller, I speak of course of that amazing Eukaryote Saccharomyces cerevisiae, better known to the rest of us as Brewers Yeast.

Fermentation: Ethanol (CH3CH2OH) is produced as a by product of yeast glycolysis, under anerobic conditions… The yeast breaks down Glucose, fructose, (sugars), to create adenosine triphospahte ATP, the energy currency of the cell. The pathway is incredably long and complicated so it is much easier to give a qualitative view of the process… I am sure I can find one of old study posters if anyone wants further info.

The pathway is well shown here which leads on the aerobic metabolism, via mitachondria very interesting but has nothing to do with beer.

Glucose C6H12O6à 2* pyruvate + 2*ATP + 2 CO2
In production of ATP two molecules of NADH are produced from the oxidation of NAD+ . To reclaim the very usefull NAD+ for further energy generation, the cells ferment the pyruvate to ethanol; and you though they did it just for us.

A very similar process occurs in the body in which pyruvate is fermented through to lactic acid, It would be a lot more interesting if the same pathways of NAD+ regeneration occurred in the body, go for a run feel drunk for the remainder of the day, but as always I digress.
The result as long as the the tub is air tight is alcoholic fermentation, further fermentation occurs after bottling with the priming sugar to create disolved CO2, for that frothy finish. If the Tub leaks it tastes like fruit salad and vegemeite, student beer.

The long and the short of it, I have a beautiful wife, I live on fresh hot bread, home grown tomatos, home cooked meals and superb stout. The down side is my wife now has a taste for stout and I have to share. Life is great.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Well it has been a couple of weeks since I last mentioned the word BALLS on this blog, and this is a post about the other kind of balls. A change from the small glass ones that tell the temperature, this set of balls we have all seen, some of us have seen more of these balls than others, but I am not here to pass judgement.

I speak of course (of course they cry) of Tattslotto (major Australian lottery).. As the Australians in the audience will know there was the nine million dollar super draw on Thursday; and no this is not a post to say hey I won, compare your lives to mine and cry. This is a Maths Post.

With a spare 10 mins on an idle Thursday I set my self the task of working out the odds against taking out the "big one" … To win you need to correctly select 5 out of the 5 balls drawn from a pool of 45, and then one ball from one out of the 45 in the Powerball bucket.

Odds on the first ball… 1 chance in 45
Odds on the second….. 1 chance in 44 (one ball less as previous ball removed from draw)
Odds on the third…. 1 chance in 43
Odds on the fourth…. 1 chance in 42
Odds on the fifth…. 1 chance in 41

The odds of drawing all balls (regardless of order) can be found by…

One in forty five * One in forty four * One in forty three * One in forty two * One in forty one

Or 1/ (45*44*43*42*41)

Equal to
1/ 146,611,080 one chance in one hundred and forty six million (and a bit)…. Still got that lucky feeling. To further stack the odds we still require the "powerball" the odds of drawing the power ball are an additional 1 in 45 chance..
therefore the odds of all five numbers plus the power ball are given by

(1/ (45*44*43*42*41))* (1/45)

Which equals the staggering

One in six billion (and a bit) chance of winning.. The current population estimate 6,552,533,873, if every member of the human race was given a single combination there would still only a 99% chance that someone of the human race would hold the winning combination…

Sometimes I wonder about humanity, is this the hope we have left, a one in 6,597,498,600 that we may be happy and afford every we are told we cant live with out.