Saturday, September 08, 2007

There comes a time in a man’s life in which he must swallow his pride, humble himself and ask for help. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Blogosphere for me that day is in fact today. Those who have read my posts, have translated my comments, have inserted punctuation where I have refused to use it. Or, deleted, the extra, commas, that I tend to use. Yes ladies and gentlemen I need your help in creating a letter.

The first line in any piece of writing should set the tone for the work at hand.

Please help by selecting the following options..

A) To whom it may concern
B) To My esteemed supervisor and valued colleagues
C) Hey Jerk Wads.

Now to move on to the purpose behind the letter, this should be as positive as possible, showing some of my highlights of the career. With any resignation letter it should also state the effective date of resignation, and any reason for leaving with a positive spin on it.

I am writing to inform you of my impending

A) Resignation
B) Termination of my contract
C) Decision to run as far away from your evil organization as possible.

This is to take effect of today. I would like to say that since I have started working for your company I have

A) Gained many valuable skills, and a heightened level of personal development
B) Collected a vast array of stolen pens, note pads, Company paraphernalia and staplers
C) Been given a positive attitude as I can see how bad life could be if I had to work here for the rest of my life.

However it is time to move on as I have found employment

A) In my dream profession working to serve the community and bring justice to those deserving.
B) Working in a home for the criminally insane and look forward to meeting the management sometime in the near future.
C) Working as a piano player in a hoar house, as this is less embarrassing to tell my friends about.

My time within your company has been
A) an amazing and life enriching experience
B) full of officious and bureaucratic behavior which has caused serious psychological harm
C) just like being drunk, if you don’t see a problem with being drunk, ask a glass of water what it is like.
I would like to take the time to thank the company

A) for the years of training, the good times and friendships I’ve made.
B) For nothing as everything I have done here I have done off my own back
C) For not loosing this piece of correspondence like every other one that I have sent in.

Now the perfect closure

A) Yours sincerely
B) Yours (as in Up) sincerely
C) Cya jerk wads

Aidan I.

There are many people at my job I will miss and I am not truly going on bad terms, many laughs and stupid moments. It is just not me at the best of my abilities, I have a new job which is pending right now… but a man can dream cant he, a man can dream.



Blogger Within Without said...

Ha Ha Ha!!! Fascinating and congratulations, mate.

As a professionally trained super-editor with many years of experience and impeccable grammar and punctuation skills -- which you clearly do not share -- here is your letter:

Saturday, Sept. 8, 2007

Hey, Jerk Wads:

I am writing to inform you of my decision to run as far away from your evil organization as possible, effective today.

I would like to say that since I have been working for your company, I have collected a vast array of stolen pens, notepads, company paraphernalia and staplers.

I am also leaving with a positive attitude, because I can see how bad life could be if I had to work here for the rest of my life.

However, it is time to move on, as I have found other employment working as a piano player in a whore house.

This is less embarrassing to tell my friends about and I have obtained the permission of my wife, Stace.

My time with your company has been just like being drunk. If you don't see a problem with being drunk, ask a glass of water.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the company for not losing this piece of correspondence as it has every other I have sent in.

Cya Jerk Wads.

Aidan I.

6:21 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Love it!
wondering how it would read over all:)

Probably wont be the one i submit on my last day though....


6:26 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

I was going with C's all the way down. You need OUT, baby, kick 'em to the curb!! hehe

6:28 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

By the way, honey, is it ok if I'm a red-head by the time you get home tonight?

6:28 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

hrmmm tempting just like april from the ninja trutles? can you wear a yellow jump suit?

6:36 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

I don't own a yellow jumpsuit. I consider this a good thing. However my mother used to, I may be able to borrow it if she still has it. WHAT AM I SAYING, of course I'm not going to wear a yellow jumpsuit. Yeurck!!

6:51 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

spewing... what about dressing as Jessica Rabbit?
hrmmm red dress, red hair....

Pixelated satisfaction

7:07 PM  
Blogger Within Without said...

Can I interrupt your little love talk to say I want pix posted of Stace in red hair and a yellow jump suit?

7:45 AM  
Blogger TidalGrrrl said...

HAHA!! I love the whole concept of this letter. However, perhaps you could leave it as a multiple choice questionnaire? That would impress!! =)

Speaking as a Dishwater Blonde to light dishwater Brunette - head, go for the RED, baybee! WooT~!!

8:44 AM  
Blogger Moonroot said...

So is your new job going to require lots of composing of letters? I ask as you obviously have the knack!

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the 'A's for an AA letter.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Menchie said...

I wish I had this when I wrote my resignation letter at the crappy company I couldn't wait to get out of!

Good luck.

1:27 AM  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

LMAO, has to be C in all sectors, lol. Hope they make a cake for you..if they don;t make them one and lace it with some laxettes, lol...only kidding.

3:49 AM  
Blogger lee said...

I would have liked it if there had been an All Of The Above option ;). If your creativity at that job was anything like the creativity you displayed in this post your boss has lost a good bloke.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Within: no i may need those photos to keep me company, hense this letetr:)

Tidal girl: I actually went orange looks strangely cool:)

Moonroot: english has never been my strong point.. The new job involves more talking than writing.

Menchie: I still dont think i should hand this one in, the job is ok its just the customers i deal with which are the issue.

Cazzie: One way to get me out of the office i guess.

Lee: I got a lot from them they got a lot from me but it is time to move on. The letter was more in fun and a cheer up on a flat day.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

LOL good stuff mate. I loved it Aidan!

However I wudnt even give em a choice...I'd just say 'FUCK OFF, I'm done with u wankers'.


12:25 AM  
Blogger Frank Baron said...

Good luck with the new job Aidan.

Might want to save a copy of this letter just in case....

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Hildegarde said...

It must have felt real good to write this log, like letting off some steam. Dream Aidan !!! I hope you find a dream job IRL soon !

8:43 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

Glad you're moving to something you like better and sounds like you're leaving on civil terms despite temptation.

I never did get a chance to do the "take this job and shove it" routine. My sister did when she was in college - some low wage job overseeing the popcorn and snacks at a movie theater. I guess the supervisor was a complete jerk. Obviously nothing was at stake in terms of her future career so she at least got the satisfaction! Don't think it involved actually throwing popcorn, but I recall that it was abrupt...

1:48 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

and I forgot to say



11:07 PM  
Blogger homo escapeons said...


I would pick all of the C's too.
You need to add a few more references to remind everybody about all of the highly incriminating personal information that you have collected and that their opportunity to be famous on YouTube is just one click away.

Veni, vidi, vici
"I came, I saw, I conquered"
psst...don't forget that those v's sound like w's and that's a hard c at the end.

10:26 PM  
Blogger Jewel said...

Well, I've only actually ever "walked out" on one 55 years! Wow....but it was horrid. If you didn't sleep with the boss you got the grunge jobs. It was a factory. This was way before sexual harrassment was even thought of, so that wasn't an option. Anywayyyyy, he had put me on the last horrible job I was going to do. I turned off my machine, was in the washroom cleaning up to go and he came in there all concerned and worried and apologetic only because he was afraid I might squeal on him or something, but I just told him to bug off and I quit. It was such a great feeling. I had some savings and soon found another job. I said all of that to say, "There are other jobs out there, Aidan. Don't spend one more miserable day doing something you don't like." You are so intelligent! Personally, my favorite part was "Hey, Jerk Wads" though that is not something that I would normally say! LOL
And I loved reading yours and Stace conversation! You two are so cute! *smile*

7:20 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

KEshi: i will keep that elegant line in mind for the next job i quit:) Thanks for the heart felt congratulations.

Frank: hopefully i will never need a letter like this again.

Hildegarde: I am sorry i can access your blog from work, it loads super slow on the home PC. Thanks for the support really appreciated.

Paul: LOving the IDea of a pop corn fight on the way out the door, maybe i should bring poop corn on my last day:)

HomoEscapeons: Then the office farewell party..

Veni, Vermini, Vomoti

I came, i got ratted, i threw up!

I wonder just how many people are unhappy at work?

Jewel: i could see you being firey when pushed, would have loved to see the look on his face when you quit. The new job is going to mean time apart from Stace this is going to be the biggest challenge.

Thanks to all for your support when chasing my dreams, you are alll a world away, but i am glad i could share this with you all....

2:07 PM  
Blogger Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

I think I am the, "To whom it may concern", type. I might fear I would offend anyone even if I weren't leaving under bad terms. Oh let's call it the lady in me.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Aidan I dun think u'd use my line at all. LOL!

Anyways, thanks for ur comment in my stalker post. The last line cracked me up hahaha!


8:12 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Inside our hands, outside our hearts : my actual letter was a lot nicer, and a bit more positive dont burn bridges but sometimes you just need to let off some steam.

Keshi: I am just glad you are ok...

2:02 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Aidan come steal something from me mate...


8:19 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Yeah, "poop corn" could be even better, lol... those little rollers from the kitty litter box??

11:16 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Aidan read my reply to u in 'The Intruder' post ok :)


11:54 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

ty for doing the homework for me Aidan! I'd ring em up soon.


10:50 PM  
Blogger Bla said...

Cool post!

2:01 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

hows ya Aidan? Hope u and Stace had a good weekend.


7:38 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Aidan I hv just updated my blog abt my friend...the DV case. Have a read when u hv time. TNXX!


11:32 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

No updates Aidan?


8:00 PM  

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