Saturday, July 14, 2007

Francis is on the roof.

My family has always dealt with anything with humour, so when one of the additions to our life passed away a week ago I was informed via text message, Francis is on the roof. Yes it is sad to say the family bird is now in the great aviary in the sky pooping on the cats of hell. Yes Francis, as the Monty python boys would say is an EX parrot.

Francis is on the roof, you say? how is one to arrive at the logical conclusion of the passing of ones pets, from the ambiguous “Francis is on the roof”?

It all comes back to one of the many terrible jokes my father told me when I was a young man which became part of our families identity.

It all starts with an English lord returning from the doctors after hearing the bad news that he was getting too old to work the land, that it was all too much stress on his body, and for his own health he had been advised to hire a caretaker.

So the old lord goes through the paper and finds Dave, the Australian farmer, who is fantastic a little slow but brilliant on the farm, after a few weeks, letting Dave settle in the old lord moves into the town to enjoy the quiet life and leaves his number with Dave just in case anything goes wrong.

Anyway a few weeks pass and the old lord receives a phone call, “hey its Dave from the farm, I have some bad news your cat is dead”. The lord is taken aback, “The cat!,” he cried, “that cat has been with me for 12 years, I loved it like a son, and now it’s gone.” The old lord sobbing into the phone, says to Dave, “look I am glad you told me but that was way too blunt, you need to let me come to terms with it. Next time something like this happens this is what I want you to do. Firstly say something like the cats on the roof, once I am ok with this move on to something like, the cat is in the vet’s care, once I come to terms with this, try the vet did all he could but sadly the cat passed away. It would make the shock a lot less.’ So Dave repeats the instructions back, says he will try his best to reduce the shock of any future passings.

Once again a few months pass, and the old lord gets a phone call. “hey it’s Dave from the farm.” “Ok Dave what has happened “said the old lord. To which Dave Responds, “Well your mum’s on the roof”

So for pets, family members, or friends the shock of death has always been forwarded on the same way. I know it seems morbid, but our philosophy has always been one of celebration of a life remember good moments, friendships, hang shit on people if they succeed just as much as if they fail. Call your mate a dopey prick, but if someone else said it be the first into the Frey.

You can’t take life to seriously or you will never get out alive!

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Blogger Jewel said...

Oh my word! I can't stop laughing! I will be using this one, Aidan. "Your mum's on the roof" Poor fellow. LOL Thanks for sharing!

10:30 AM  
Blogger Menchie said...

Well it's certainly original. :D

7:47 PM  
Blogger Whitesnake said...

I ain't dead yet!

12:12 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

u r seriously FUNNY Aidan. LOVE YA!

**, but our philosophy has always been one of celebration of a life remember good moments, friendships...

that is such a good philosophy mate.


12:31 AM  
Blogger Lletna said...

It's an old tale - but a good one - it also works with the guy ringing up from aboard - asking how the family is - and being told the cat is dead - moral is the same.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Jewel: Glad i could bring a smile to your face, i am sure my father knows every bad joke in existence.

Menchie: original and my father go hand in hand, he is 65 and getting his first tatoo as a sign of rebelion.

Whitesnake: good to hear id miss your comments.

Keshi: It works, try it.. It can be very hard to forgte the bad though.

LLetna: No where near as bad as the triffle bizaar joke on saturday. Thanks again for coming round for the potter-a-thon, hope you had fun!

3:23 PM  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Too funny, and I did see that show on telly a few months ago or so. I had seen it before, when I was younger, my dad and I used to watch it when it was on telly.
Cannot live without humour..and sometimes, If I did not laugh, especially at work, I would surely cry!

5:37 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

I know..but u keep reminding me what to do...and thats great. tnxxx!


9:15 PM  
Blogger Within Without said...

A great family tale, Aidan.

And the part about calling your mate a dickhead but being in the first into the fray if anyone else was to say it...

Bang on!

Pardon me, I hear something on my roof...

9:14 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Cazzie: Which show was this? I am not sure who told us the joke originaly but i sense the taint of plaguarism in the air...

Keshi: i think that is my job on earth sometimes, I tend to get thrown into peoples lives make them smile and feel better then wander into the ether.

WW: You and HE reflect that same relationship, hang shit on one annother but are there when it counts.

My mates and I have always been the same, you know something has gone horribly wrong when they start being nice to you.

4:11 PM  
Blogger TidalGrrrl said...

This was perfect, Aidan! I am still chuckling. :)

5:38 PM  
Blogger lee said...

aidan - I am sorry to hear about francis, the ex-parrot!!!! Well trying to feel sorry, anyway -but after seeing that photo of john cleese there it is rather difficult to feel sorry about anything at all. Did enjoy that tale you related :).

8:39 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

u r just that n MORE!


10:29 PM  
Anonymous Hildegarde said...

Very wise, special and humourous !!

2:46 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Shelly: long see no time, or words to that effect, thanks for dropping by glad i could make you smile.

Lee: He was a mental bird he will be missed.

KEshi: I am just me, nothing more nothing less.

Hildegarde: those three words sum up my father.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Aidan ome ova to my place n test ur detective genes ;-)


8:22 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

**come ova

I mean!

** I am just me, nothing more nothing less.

thats why ur so SPECIAL.


8:23 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

As soon as a man becomes a father, a gene is switched on and he starts telling dreadful jokes.

2:43 AM  
Blogger Within Without said...

Wait, Stace: Does this mean you're PREGNANT?

8:02 PM  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

"It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more.
It has ceased to be.
It's expired and gone to meet its maker.
This is a late parrot.
It's a stiff.
Bereft of life, it rests in peace.
If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies.
It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.
This is an ex-parrot.

"Well, I'd better replace it then."

That was a brilliant tale Aidan. We need to celebrate our brief lifespans here here on planet and hope to bloody hell that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe..or Afterlife if there is such a thing. My Word!

11:46 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

How r u Sir?


10:48 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Keshi: that is the best offer i have had in a long time:)

Stace: how do you tell the sex of a chromosome, easy you pull down its Genes.

WW: NO! kids is a four letter word. I want them but not yet!

HE: Hey been a while:) It is one of the funniest sketches in history.

Keshi: ALive and well :)
(although completely exhausted)

7:18 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

good to hear ur well.

I just woke up after 2 whole days of sleeping with the enemy :)


10:48 PM  
Blogger Within Without said...

What? Francis is STILL on the roof?

9:36 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

why so quiet in here? :(


7:16 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...



5:46 PM  
Blogger Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

I think it is lovely and you have added a rather large smile to my face. Thank you.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Within Without said...

I think Francis must have died by now...

2:54 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

WW: sorry i havnt had a lot to say, well more the means to say it.
Francis has long shed of this mortal coil.

Keshi: Hopefully more noise will be made soon:)

Inside our hands and outside or hearts: Glad you appreciate it. We all need a smile, especially in the darker times of our lives.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

haha! :)

di da di da di da...


7:23 PM  

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