It’s a jungle down there…
Dear Loyal reader(s),
The final phase of any cycling training is of course the most painful…. As Mr Miyagi once said… "Wax on, Wax off" yes ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere before undertaking the ride I must go from this…
Before you come out with it, this is not a sexual oooh my legs are silky smooth thing, this is a preventative action against the dangers of gravel rash thing… in addition to being a sexual oooh my legs are silky smooth thing… And hopefully I will stand a better chance of winning the upcoming work bikini contest.
My first problem with the waxing is of course the name… Nads wax, it is confusing as to where it is to be applied, and if it means what I think it means in I'm in for some hollering.. In addition everything comes in pink; it is hard to feel manly having your legs waxed.
Gravel rash with hairy legs is a concern, the hairs grow back through the scabs, increasing healing time and greatly increasing the risk of infection, so the preventative actions detailed below are required.
I think the over all process is best described in my ten step plan to hair removal.
Step one: Take a shot
Step two: Open box, read instructions, loose interest in instructions, get confused in what you are doing.
Step three: take a shot, ask wife for help.
Step four: try and convince wife you knew what you were doing all along, and that the trail of wax from the kitchen to the lounge room was there when we moved in.
Step five: Pour hot sticky solution onto legs, take a shot, cover with the fabric hair gripers.
Step six: Rip, in one quick movement, the fabric from the leg.
Step seven: Swear, hop and jump, hide leg from woman with wax, take a shot.
Step eight: allow wife to coax you out of the cupboard with beer.
Step nine: take a shot
Step ten: Repeat until legs are hairless, you run out of booze, you decide waxing your chest is a good idea, or any combination of the above.
PS how do women do this all the time?
PPS it is less than a week after this it's straight back on the bike
Labels: Leg wax