Monday, March 12, 2007

It’s a jungle down there…

Dear Loyal reader(s),

The final phase of any cycling training is of course the most painful…. As Mr Miyagi once said… "Wax on, Wax off" yes ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere before undertaking the ride I must go from this…

To this….

Before you come out with it, this is not a sexual oooh my legs are silky smooth thing, this is a preventative action against the dangers of gravel rash thing… in addition to being a sexual oooh my legs are silky smooth thing… And hopefully I will stand a better chance of winning the upcoming work bikini contest.

My first problem with the waxing is of course the name… Nads wax, it is confusing as to where it is to be applied, and if it means what I think it means in I'm in for some hollering.. In addition everything comes in pink; it is hard to feel manly having your legs waxed.

Gravel rash with hairy legs is a concern, the hairs grow back through the scabs, increasing healing time and greatly increasing the risk of infection, so the preventative actions detailed below are required.

I think the over all process is best described in my ten step plan to hair removal.

Step one: Take a shot
Step two: Open box, read instructions, loose interest in instructions, get confused in what you are doing.
Step three: take a shot, ask wife for help.
Step four: try and convince wife you knew what you were doing all along, and that the trail of wax from the kitchen to the lounge room was there when we moved in.
Step five: Pour hot sticky solution onto legs, take a shot, cover with the fabric hair gripers.
Step six: Rip, in one quick movement, the fabric from the leg.
Step seven: Swear, hop and jump, hide leg from woman with wax, take a shot.
Step eight: allow wife to coax you out of the cupboard with beer.
Step nine: take a shot
Step ten: Repeat until legs are hairless, you run out of booze, you decide waxing your chest is a good idea, or any combination of the above.

Hairlessly yours


PS how do women do this all the time?
PPS it is less than a week after this it's straight back on the bike



Blogger lee said...

I told you before that you were a masochist. It must be true.

How do women do this all the time? I give my legs a quick shave every morning in the shower, probably takes less than a minute after all these years of practice.Tried some Nads once on my face once and would never do it again -that fine hair will have to stay! DON'T DO IT!!!! :).

11:20 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

Lee, we're in the middle of the waxing process right now... you would not believe how much hair is coming off those legs!!! Gross. He's handling it quite well though, flinching a little each time... :)

I shave mine in the shower too, soooo much easier and quicker.

2:59 AM  
Anonymous Andrew's Mum said...

Hi you should use Waxeze not Nads, it is much less painful and it is made from natural bees wax. It washes off beautifully in water. Only downside is you have to heat it up.

3:02 AM  
Blogger Jewel said...

Oh my word! This is soooo funny!! I would think that after all of those shots (as in needles or whiskey???? which one? or both?) you wouldn't be feeling a thing!

I'm with you girls! A quick shave and that's that! I've not ever waxed and don't plan to!

You are a real trooper,Aidan! Hey, we want to see pictures of those legs...after wax! *smile*

My dear husband would die as he has quite a bit of hair on every inch of his body. But we definitely won't be waxing him anytime soon. He would never stand for it no matter the reason! LOL

11:15 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...


for the second time

Lee: Not a pleasant experience, Especially when you consider leg wax is made for chicks, with fine little hairs, not 2 inch black monstrosities, i swear the cotton strip looked like a door matt towards the end.

Stace: thanks for that honey, as they say you always hurt the ones you love.... but sometimes you have to ask first

Andrews mum: Ill keep that in mind the next time i do anytrhing this stupid:) now just to work out which Andrew's Mum....

Jewel: Are you sure you wouldnt prefer your hubby with silky smooth legs, Its a lot nicer when snuggling.... so much closer...

4:09 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

LOL Aidan ur sooo funny!

btw from where did u get my pic in that red dress?

**hopefully I will stand a better chance of winning the upcoming work bikini contest.


How do women do this?

well I shave...razor u know...alot easier and alot less painful. I dun care what happens to my skin in 10yrs time but right now it looks good n thats all care abt. Waxing is just eeeeerie!

Good luck Aidan!

5:35 PM  
Blogger Menchie said...

You are a brave man. Very brave.

I haven't even tried waxing yet. Some girls I know take painkillers for it esp when it's a, you know, *whisper* a brazilian.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said... about coming out of the 'cupboard'..this thinly veiled excuse to get a Brazilian Wax all the way down to Argentina is nothing more than posturing...
gravel rash pffft!
I could have pulled a better answer out of my....if you would have used the old aerodynamic excuse I would have totally swallowed it hook, line and sinker...but now I am suspicious...hey if you want to shave go ahead but don't be shovelling this 'gravel rash' crap at me.


12:20 PM  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

NADS is great..and so is depilatory cream, call me a whimp, I am, I would rather give birth to another crying screaming baby than wax :(
Tweesers at the ready for ingrown hairs? Just exfoliate in the shower using one of them exfoliating gloves, that prevents painful ingrowns :)

4:16 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Keshi: I took the shot when you werent looking, great legs by the way:)

Menchie: Brazilian wax confused me for a long time until someone filled me in on the euphemism... I just thought most of south america was hairless...

HE: The waxing is for health concerns about gravel rash, the sexy black dress is for areodynamics, the high heels help me grip the pedals.... i hope this has cleared up any "confusion"

Cazzie: i totaly .....YEEOOOOOOOOOWWWW

4:32 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

I'd better get my dress and high heels back after this bike ride...

7:14 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Well I didnt know u cud get me to pose so good even w.o. realising u were ard :)


8:01 PM  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

What does keshi mean you were ard?
OK I believe you..I shaved my legs a couple of times when I was younger and did a lot of downhill Skiing...and I liked it..alot!
Since I am quite allergic to PAIN I shaved...

so I guess the only guys that get waxed are Drag Queens, Cyclists and Porn Stars...what the..did anyone else hear Ping Pong balls being 'popped' onstage.

btw Which kind of steroids will you be using to increase your stamina and shrink your nads...never realised that downsizing your boys is actually an advantage for Cyclists!

7:35 AM  
Blogger Jewel said...

I am dying laughing reading these comments! LOL Who would have thought a simple bike ride...well, okay, not-so-simple bike ride, would have resulted in such conversation??? LOL

For reasons I can't really explain, I like the contrast of my smooth skin and my husband's roughish skin. Makes me feel more feminine, I think. And besides, his pain threshold is pretty low. *grin*'ve got a keeper here in this Aidan, as I am sure he has in you, too! You're such a sweet couple!!

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Hildegarde said...

So, you are doing this with two, yes : sadomasochism :-) since I don't get the point why the hair has to be pulled out (instead of simply shaved), making all those tiny wounds and then they tell you this skin will heal better if you would fall ?

11:43 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Stace: Ok but i look better in them...

HE: Drag Queens, Cyclists and Porn Stars they were my three possible career paths before leaving highschool.... it is a small world.

Have to admit the legs feel pretty cool:)

Keshi: Ard has me a bit confused to, must be a sydney thing...

Jewel: Its funny how it snowballed, wasnt unexpected, there are some very funny bloggers out there, mot seem to be canadian...

hildegarde: S"o, you are doing this with two, yes sadomasochism" nothing wrong with that:) MOre that the scabs get matted hair in them, it is a major concern with gravel rash....

3:04 PM  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Stace,that is a crack up LOL

8:47 PM  

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