Sunday, January 21, 2007


To whom it may concern,
I am writing this letter as an open resignation from the real world. Please find enclosed the following items, My IPOD, credit cards, and designer underwear. I have found a better position, through a secret portal in my cupboard, to a world full of magic and wonder. With better conditions and better defined boundaries.

In this world it is easy to pick the heroes as they are dressed in white and the villains as they have beards, are followed by sinister music and have shifty eye movements. In our world there are no heroes just people surviving doing what must be done.

In my new world evil is always defeated and the principles of friendship are held in the highest of esteem. Exploitation is only done by the ones with the beards, and those of noble descent truly care for their subordinates. There is no commercialism and people are happy to just spend time with family, money has less value than a beer with your friends in an inn.

The language is simple as long as you remember to add an e on the end of most words. The position is a lot more exciting than my old job in finance, as I get to work with a more diverse section of the community elves, dwarves, wizards, gnomes, and goblins. In addition to meeting new and interesting people I get to quest for damsels in distress on a regular basis, fighting over hill and dale, against a plethora of evil for which I am thanked.

I wish you all the best with the petty squabbles of your common ancestry and hope you can find someone to fill my position as good natured door mat.

Yours sincerely
Aidan

16 Comments:

Blogger Stace said...

Now you understand what I've wanted since I was about twelve years old.

10:57 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Stace: I am 24 and still dreaming of being abducted by faeries, or elves, maybe just waking up to find out i am in fact a Spider god but didnt relise until today.

3:44 PM  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

Well then Spider God you should try LSD...I guarantee that your dreams will all come true..for atleast 6 hours anyway..of course you could always lick Cane Toads in the morning.

I can understand the appeal of living in a fantasy world where good conquers evil because it doesn't seem to work in ours.

You must have been a huge LOTR fan..and how about all of the Artorian tales..did you like Excalibur?

4:17 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

LOL u smarty!

**. In our world there are no heroes just people surviving doing what must be done.

thats so true.


btw Aidan did u know that I have been living in ur fantasy world for years? I refuse to live with these mortal beings who run ard mocking each other just to die one day.


So yeah, u have company ;-)
Keshi.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

The best way to handle reality is to spend as little time there as possible.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

HE: I love Tolkien, Pratchett, Forde, Tad Williams, all the Dragon Lance series... It is my escape from the nine to five...

Essentially romance novels and fantasy are similar. Just replace the word throbbing member with broadsword And bosum with breast plate and there you go.


Keshi: Not a big fan of immortality i would probably just get bored.... Have you read the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy.. A character called WOW bagger the infinitely prolonged... Became bored with immortallity and decided to insult everyone in the universe in alphabetical order:)

6:49 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

LOL! thats so funny :)

Keshi.

6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Aidan, Keep your eyes open. I have rescued one maiden in distress today. Admittidly it was helping an octegenarian alight and dismount from a train but the other passengers were swooning after seeing my heroic endevours.
Andrew.

5:15 PM  
Anonymous Andrew said...

Hi Aidan,
Count me in.
However keep your eyes open. I have rescued one maiden today. Admittedly it was helping an octogenarian alight and dismount from a train, but the other tram passengers were swooning from observing my heroic deeds.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

octegenarian= eight arms and squirts ink right?
Good to hear from you andrew:)

9:04 PM  
Blogger Within Without said...

Dear Aidan:

Your letter is NOT accepted. The real world requires heroes like you with imagination and guile.

Your path is to apply the principles of your desired world to the world you now live in.

Sincerely,

Grand Secretary and Lord on High
The Real World

9:52 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...

WW: i have strange urge to start singing return to sender. Although you mya infact be right, one thing to dream annother to do.

On a lighter note you must have the longest buisiness card on the planet.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Have a great Aus Day tomorrow Aidan!

TC
Keshi.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!
glug
glug
glug
glug

6:45 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...

thanks HE and Thanks Keshi

10:19 PM  
Anonymous SomeOneWhoWantsGood2U said...

That's what the hypocrisy of the western way of life has done to you!
Your feelings are understood and it is because the lack of purpose in your life (not talking about the American dream) a more meaningful purpose an everlasting purpose. Look for it and you will find it, the only thing don’t look in the media (CNN/BBC/FOX/etc.)
Good luck to you all.

11:44 PM  

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