In my dreams I see a beach, it is night time, I can see a few paces in front but from there it all fades to darkness. In front of me I see a trail made of foot prints stretching into the darkness, glowing silver as if lit by the moon, the outline glowing against the darkness. I take a step it lands in the pre made foot print in front, every step lands, as if guided by some unseen force into the pre existing foot steps. I try and hold my feet in position not take that next step but I am pushed on, I reach for the sand to slow the momentum, my actions; futile, the steps must continue on. Every step I take is inevitable and leading inescapably into the ominous darkness.
Please forgive my flair for the melodramatic; however two days ago I was struck with the thought as if for the first time… One day I will grow old and One day I will die. I picture my death bed confession, of social upheaval and the destruction of consumerism at my hand. Then reality kicks in and it will be more along the lines of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
The stupidest part of it all, was what brought the thought on, something so simple. I saw my mother and fathers wedding photo next to the photo of Stace and I on our wedding day. From there I saw a cycle, another life moving forward, the other life slowing down. Eventually my life will slow down, one day my life will end, all that will be left are photos, bizarre blog posts, and my organs transplanted into those who need them.
I have discussed absurdity previously but I see with a whole new clarity, why live why fight for ideals, if one day all that remains is dust. Yet my resolve is strengthened for the same reasons. One day I won't be here to fight, one day only the memories of the fight will remain. All that I loved will one day cease to be.
Live your life, make your obituary as interesting as possible, one day they may even remember that you were here.