Friday, January 12, 2007



In the darkest of times there have always been heroes. Lancelot in the dark
ages, Joan of Arc against the English, people who have always shined through and
been a example of times of peril. Their acts Selfless and noble, fighting for a
cause that they believed in. As we progressed so did our heroes, war created
heroes to bring hope to soldiers facing overwhelming odds, the socialist agenda
created those who would sacrifice a life filled with wanton hedonism: to better
the human race through science (Watson & Crick, Blaise Pascal, Isaac Newton, and
big Papa E), or social progress (Mother Teresa, Bill Gates) or both (Fred
Hollows).

Then along came the action figure; heroes immoratalised in plastic...
Plastic versions of our great heroes, the selfless acts of GI Joe defending the
free world from Communism and sharing. Barbie Dolls showing the young women of
our generation that even the blondest and biggest breasted could still be
doctors and Lawyers. We could recreate adventures and feelings of hope, we could
prove to the prosthetic world that there was a little hero in all of us, and the
forces of evil were no match for our spring loaded Weapons of Mass destruction.

Now our heroes side with the enemy. The biggest offender is of course the Bratz
doll. Selfless acts replaced with consumerism. A compliant consumer, looking the
same as all her friends, with no greater aspirations than to look pretty and
purchase happiness. Gone are acts of bravery; gone are acts of kindness to make
the world a better place. We are left with Bimbos whose sole purpose is too look
like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and consume like everyone else. IS
this the role model we should be giving our youth?

My favorite action figure: The Albert Einstein doll comes with action cardigan
and chalk to fight the forces of calculus. I have a strange feeling that Albert
has been assembled from other products, a troll doll head and the body of a Ken
doll that had let itself go. This is the role model we should give our kids.

Albert Einstein March 14 1879- April 18 1955.
Nobel prize recipient in 1921 for physics, and best known for the theory
E=MC2*(super script and blogger don't mix)
*Better known as Einstein went to the Moscow Circus Twice.*

Which relates energy and mass in the universe and explains how energy is
transferred in nuclear Fission reactions... small loss of mass = heap of energy
due to the speed of light square.

This may also explain why Second hand bookshops become a black hole which no
book can escape.. Knowledge=power=energy=Mass.... Mass distorts the region of
space-time and attracts more matter. Hence why second hand bookshops
(collection of knowlege) take great lengths (cracked floors, dimly lit, and
dank) to not actually sell any books, as it may adversely effect the space-time
continuum.

We are in times of turmoil.... a world of apathy and selfishness. Our world is
slowly destroying itself, evil runs unchecked, people cry out in the night but
no one comes to their aid. The heroes of old are dead and gone, leaving only a
memory of times in which we had hope, now we know there is none left. We need a
new hero; a hero who shrugs off consumerism, who is happy to wear non designer,
who questions everything, who is not content just to watch the world destroy
itself... If he existed would the masses even listen.

Solution: The bureaucrat action figure; more powerful than an electric stapler,
able to chop red tape in a single swipe, equipped with a bullshit awareness
sensor... someone who could reform the system a give us hope once again.

Until then, I will continue to play with Albert and his bizarre love triangle
with Barbie and her open-minded twin sister.

8 Comments:

Blogger Keshi said...

Aidan u make perfect sense here. Our world is indeed getting dumber by the day and evil seems to take over with the passing minute.


**We are left with Bimbos whose sole purpose is too look
like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and consume like everyone else

Spot on! Kids these days know only abt Barbie and Ken...worse BRATZ. And they r turning into brats alrite!


****The Albert Einstein doll

What a very creative and smart idea! see even Keshi hasnt seen that one b4 :(


***Until then, I will continue to play with Albert and his bizarre love triangle
with Barbie and her open-minded twin sister.

LOL and u get cheeky!


u were a beach boy...ooo lala ;-)

Keshi.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bravo!

11:07 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

Trying not to get too depressed while writing it, hence albert and the "cheekiness" :)

sorry about how thwe post got spread.... Whenn i pasted from word blogger killed it... thanks for the feed back:)

I was a life saver slightly different, i have held a bronze medalian i believe 10 people owe me a life debt.


Anonymous: thanks..

12:47 AM  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

The biggest stumbling block is that the internet proves our worst fears..instead of being used to progress out of our primordial swamp of political and religious repression... consumerism and the banality of instant gratification exposes how dumb we really are...we are lazyass little monkeys who horde everything that we stumble upon....

that being said I know that back in the 60s if my GI Joes had to spend their shore leave with Bratz instead of Barbies it would have been way more expensive. Barbie still had a little naivete about her..she was holding out for the right guy and Ken was having issues with his sexual orientation so GI Joe seemed like he was worth the risk..."Gee if I go all the way will he call me?"
Fortunately for Gi Joe his "Master of the Universe" was a 10 year old boy so there was never any doubt about if he was gettin' some...the Barbies however belonged to my sister and needed to be coaxed along...

this is getting creepy so let me end with a simple thank you for shining lights into dark corners.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Stace said...

Consumerism is a new religion. Television is it's prophet, telling us what to believe. Bratz dolls are it's apostles, indoctrinating the unsuspecting. Shopping centres are it's temples, attracting unwitting worshippers in droves. Aidan is it's antichrist!

10:00 PM  
Blogger Aidan said...

HE: sometimes you worry me.. The rest of the time you make me laugh uncontrollably..
There was a fantastic ad some years ago. A dad walks in with his 2 sons playing with dolls one is playing with GI joe and being manly. The other is playing with barbies.
Of course the dad looks worried that his son is "one of those"...

It jumps 20 years in the future With the son playing with GI joe sharing a bedroom with two miliitary guys and the "sissy one" still "playing with barbies. 2 georgeous blondes.

Stace: Bite the head of one babie and everyone thinks you're the anti christ... talk about profiling

10:30 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Aidan if u didnt know I have a thing for Aussie beach-boys :):)

Keshi.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Stace said...

Oi, Keshi, he's a married man!!! hehe :)

10:49 PM  

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