Friday, November 10, 2006

[Deep voice over]
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Theme music plays, applause……

[Host] welcome back, as promised we have a very special guest tonight. The creator of such thoughts as, "Everyone else is having sex bare me", and "I didn’t yet the job because of my religion". Every ones favourite anthropomorphic personification Paranoia.. Welcome to the show.

[Paranoia] It's good to be back…stares… what is that lump on your neck?

[Host]What lump?

[Paranoia]That little grey scaly one, don’t stress i am sure it is nothing cancerous. Guess they all say that at some point, then well you know..

[Host]What, what happens, who says that?

[Paranoia]You know they, them the opposite of us.

[Host]Ah oh ok, moving along… touches neck

[Paranoia]Don’t worry you can barely notice it… stares at neck….. not like that hair piece. Most of the front row has noticed it, the two girls down the end are giggling at it, or maybe it was just that witty remark you made, guess we will never know.

[Host]Re positions hair piece… Last time we saw you was shortly after Cronulla, some of your better work if you don’t mind me saying so, how on earth did you turn people so quickly, I think that’s what people are really wanting to know? It only took two years then people were diving for cover at the sight of a turban, people starting fights with people who didn’t even fit the stereotype, but did just for that day… amazing stuff.

[Paranoia]Actually I can't take all the credit for that one; I had a lot of help from my friends Fear and Miss Information., a lovely set of girls. All we had to do is associate the turban with murder and terrorism, make their customs seem alien and incompatible. The media were great in that one, people like to be afraid and feel like they are winning a war no matter how intangible the enemy. WE had to show vast armies of enemies franticly firing machine guns in the air, not the boring non paper selling Muslims, like Cab drivers, lawyers and surgeons, make the religion look a bit rough round the edges, show the older parts of the Koran, the death and suffering parts… Little saying that start with everyone knows… Then all we needed was one little spark and off it went.

[Host]Surely people would think back to all the Muslims they had known, the non paper selling ones, back before they had always been the enemy?

[Paranoia]Think… think that's were fear comes in. they react first and then think. Self preservation is the strongest natural urge. Fear drives it, the body cannot put fear to good use, as it converts it to anger as the adrenalin rises, it is all so simple.

[Host]Ok playing on racism and peoples small minded tendencies is one thing, but turning people against their own government that is an achievement.

[Paranoia]Hey those two girls that were laughing at your hair piece they have moved on they are now laughing at the purple shirt.


[Paranoia]Don’t mind me I am just observant, I think it is great that you feel that comfortable with your own sexuality to wear purple.

[Host]What's wrong with purple? pulls at collar

[Paranoia]Against politicians and corporations is easy. It comes down to what is easier to believe for the common man, personal responsibility and ones own capabilities. Bad things happen to good people; people get laid off, children starving in far away lands, destruction of the environment. It conjures up ideas of smoky rooms; full of rich, powerful and bored men; plotting and scheming. It is easier than thinking of people like you and I, people with kids, torturers have families; even totalitarian dictators still love their children. It is just a part of human nature to deny what we are capable of. Not to mention everyone loves a good conspiracy.

[Host]What about when I feel the whole world is out to get me, how do you pull that one off?

[Paranoia]Are you trying to be taken seriously as a journalist, I am sure it wont last long.. I just play to the ego of people, you are of course the centre of the universe, even god watches your every action, He keeps tabs on how many times you swear and bat off. If everything revolves around us, why shouldn’t the conspiracy? An example a man on train writing in a blue note book stolen from work, looks at you, smiles and goes back to writing in the book, you automatically believe he is writing about you, not what was out the window behind you.

[Host]We are running out of time, before we go what's next for you?

[Paranoia]Politics there is always room for more paranoia in politics especially around election times, maybe another leadership challenge never know who wants your job Johnny.

[Host]Everyone lets here it for paranoia.

Applause cut to commercial.


Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

You should sell that one to a magazine! What sparked that.
Are you just frustrated with the snail's pace that humans are achieving while trying to outrun the past?
Find a Happy Place, sit back and watch the show. People are guaranteed to underwhelm you every day..although once in a while they do outdo which instance you can be thankful that you were not present.
Bucking Frilliant.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Irene said...

It's my first time to stumble upon your blog and couldn't help but be riveted by the fascinatingly unique way you string your words together to make your point. Keep at it! Happy weekend! =)

6:16 AM  
Blogger Aidan said...

HE: just an idea floating in my head, was meant to be mostly poking fun at the world.. everyone is so scared of everyone else. THANKS HE your praise means a bit too me.
People just annoy me with how ungrateful they are too be alive and inone piece. Thye let the things which do not matter cloud their judgement. Instead of revelling in how amazing it is that we exist. and its improbability.

Irene: Thanks i am not sure if i did have a point... My english teacher hated the way i write. I tend to think a lot faster than i can type or write. thanks for the encouragement.

4:04 PM  

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