Today is the sudden realisation of that I am no longer meant to be a kid… it is now a grand total of 25 days left to go before saying good bye to the single life, sitting around in my underpants and a wasting my life watching the adventures of my fellow bloggers. It is of course 25 days to the wedding, the rings have been bought, although I believe the language of Mordoor would have been more romantic. The flower girl is getting more excited (yes that is possible), the best man is keyed up for the bucks night, the celebrant has been worded up, the photographer is practicing his aim… It is all falling into place. But….
Shouldn’t I feel like an adult…
Growing up, primary school, days of wedgies, wet willies, and songs with the words whoopsa daisy in them.. a time were the Mullet rained supreme as the height of fashion, you could wear bike shorts and not own a bike, a child in the eighties, time passed I filled my head with knowledge, history of Australia, basic mathematics, the deep and disturbing look into the caterpillar psyche which is “The Hungry, Hungry Catterpillar”.. Bows, arrows, toy guns and surf life saving… Maybe once I hit high school I’ll feel like a young man.
High school a time of beatings, long bus trips, noticing girls not noticing me, sex education *snigger*, erratic grades, quake, doom and MIRC. Meeting the best mates I have ever had in my life, most of which I still see. First kisses, well more a saliva exchange program, shouldn’t It happen then the responsibility of somebody heart, shouldn’t one feel more responsible then. First break up, it came down to Blizzard Entertainment’s Starcraft or her, but it was a great game. Search and rescue, carrying corpses, picking up suicides, bits occasionally falling off, face to face with death at the age of 15 surely then… but no I just had stories to make my female friends go green. Flying aircraft, the life of friends and family resting in my hands, mum had to drive to the airfield I would fly a plane by my self for an hour, then mum would have to drive me home, as I was not old enough to drive. The death of a friend, I thought that would change things, I lost a really good friend when I was 16 he was 15, killed by a car collecting money for charity. Still not sure how that affected me, even thinking back now, I smile when I think of his antics, and I still think about the last thing I said to him. I had seen a lot of death, my early days I spent on a bowls club (lawn) helping my father, it wasn’t unusual to loose a friend a week, but they were all in their eighties+ had live rich lives, at 16 years of age it struck me how much promise and potential was lost that day. Even surrounded by death I still did not see my self as a man.
Then the 90s were amazing times, the DVD killed the video star, the murder of the radio star still remained unsolved, boy bands roamed the earth in search of greener pastures. My love affair with Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson began, first concerts and great nights.
Maybe you become a man when Loosing your virginity? It was 15 minutes in pure ecstasy, inclusive of the time to put my clothes back on and eat the pizza.
I thought to my self, after high school, university is what makes you a man. One bad semester, most of which a blur, of big nights and socialising, scrapping some study together in the end passed most classes. Decided uni was not for me, for I joined the Air Force, nothing makes a man out of you like military service, so I was told, so I yelled and screamed and shot plastic targets with high accuracy. DUXed the college, but I still felt the same I was just stronger and fitter.
I saw that you got nowhere in life without that bit of paper, I went part time military, and back to the books, 5 changes in majors in the course. Meteorology, physics, chemistry and finally settling on Molecular Biology, yet my secret love with philosophy, couldn’t let the science nerds know that. 3 years of advanced study, surely then I would be a “man”, I met Stace in my final year, you would think taking 6 months later I proposed,
Me.“will you marry me?”
Stace “yeah ok”
Me “oh I guess we are engaged then”
Engagement parties and the “shock” of friends, surely now I would feel adult, grown up, mature. No shortly after I was swimming in a public fountain. World travel and new horizons, still no change.
Now I am 24, getting married, living away from home, doing grown up things but I still feel like a big kid. I still act like a big kid, I still do silly things for my friends and Stace’s amusement… maybe after I’m married, if not there is always kids…
Now where did I leave those underpants?