Wednesday, May 20, 2009

**** Blows dust off the main page of the blog****

Ripples in a pond.

You throw a rock into a pond, you will see a concentric circles from around the central point. The Circles spread and slowly dissipate (through an inverse square relationship) the further they move from the central point to a point in which the energy approaches 0 and then can no longer be seen.

I had retired from the world of blogging, this is due to multiple factors one of which work, as the stories are either clearly inappropriate, heart breaking, or breach certain confidentiality arrangements. The other is time which is not completely indirectly related to the first.

However today i blow the dust off the blog to explore some ideas. I said i would not go back to this, there was so little time and this took so much, but i needed somewhere i could say what i needed to say.

I talk of course of Chris Cariou, who was to blogging, what George W Bush was to welding.

A man who shared so much of his life with us. His tales of family, of common struggles, his bro-mance with another amazing human being Donn. He truly understood the importance of people in your life, mateship, trust and respect. He showed this through his humour and Humility.

Chris has recently had a stroke. It is amazing how we forget how much people mean, until we nearly lose someone we care about. The reports so far are mixed now it is just the waiting game, for Chris, his family and friends. All our thoughts are with you mate, hang in there.

One event, leading to a chain of events, a central splash radiating out to all areas of what is rapidly becoming a very small pond.


Monday, July 07, 2008

Wow this blog is really falling into disrepair, its not that i am lazy it just i dont have the tie to sit down and blog.

Where i am at now... Well i am 25 and still thinking the same thoughts as were i was when i started this blog... stuck on the concepts of is there a god, do i have free will, why is the world the way it is, can it be changed, why is abbreviation such a long word.

I thought the job i am currently doing would give more answers, however it merely raises more questions, morality is tested, the concepts of justice and the lies we take as truth.

Terry Pratchett wrote an awesome book called the Hog father, in which he makes the point that young people are conditioned to believe in the smaller lies, such as the tooth fairy, Santa clause, in order that they believe in the bigger lies later in life. such as truth, justice and the American Way, or Australian Values. There is so little fairness or justice in the world. Maybe we need to believe in the lies to make the world work, i don't think people could truly go on knowing the truth or maybe it is just easier to believe in the lies.

A few years dedicated to writing and thinking and i still cant find a hard and fast rule, everything has its exception. The natural laws, Physics has it exceptions, quantum mechanics and Newtonian Mechanics don't mesh. Our ideas of biology are continually changing, even mathematics continually advances and changes.

I guess i have a point in here that i am 25 years old and i still know nothing, the harder i look the more questions i find, either the answers i seek are unobtainable or just non existent.

Please note this is not a depressed or down post, just getting some stuff off my chest.



Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Autobots and Deceptacons

Protect or destroy, Good or evil, black and white.

No shades of grey in the world of the Autobots, our whole lives we are shown a world through TV, teachers, scriptures, and books. Good is always rewarded (except for Job where it is ok to treat someone poorly as long as it is for the purposes of gamblng) and Evil is always punished (except where we try to illustrate eternal reward over transient possessions).

Life when I was a child was simple, people were nice, crime existed but was always caught and punished, life made sense.

Optimus Prime, noble, honest, kind, loyal, selfless in actions would, if he existed today be stuck in a middle management position, up to his eye balls in debt, and . Megatron evil, disloyal, ambitious, dastardly , uncaring, would be the head of a multinational corporation surrounded by money and prosperity.

Now here I am very lost within, fighting morality, still hoping and praying for the simple black and white days of youth, answers to why bad stuff happens, and why shit things happen to good people.

I see a world dying, horrid senseless acts, for money, for street cred, and worse still just for kicks. People trying to live up to a US gangsta image, we have become obsessed with image to a point we follow any image put in front of us.

I want to feel the way I did as a child, hope, oportunity, and innocence. Instead of work, worry, and the harsh realities of life.

**i talked to Stace**

I just looked at an image of a two people black and white, side by side riding a bike up a hill. I feel like crying looking at the picture, freedom of the road, thoughts of my father and life I left behind chasing something I may not even be able to obtain...

Somedays it is just really hard to make sense of it all

Friday, April 25, 2008

Been a bit stumped for topics so i decided to learn something about every word in the dictionary and try and relate that back to the world around me.... This may be a complete train wreck so please bare with me.


A (black adder the Third) - Impersonal Pronoun it doesn't really mean anything

A (Queensland) - How one ends a sentence in northern Australia, "So you're from Queensland A?"

A - Without eg.- Agnostic, Atheism, Within A.

A - Singular (ie. one , not two, nor three, four is completely out of the question unless you are subtracting three.)

A - The first letter of the Alphabet

A - Musical note amongst the lines of Evelyn Goodwins Butt Deserves Framing, and FACE which make up the spaces on lines for musical notation.

A (with a small circle on top) - Angstrom an atomic measurement equal to 1*10^-10 of a metre, ie. really bloody small. Used in measuring the diametre of George Bush's brain as well as atoms, atomic bond lengths, and electromagnetic radiation.

A -a fictitious Grade applied to school work, as opposed to the grade of "please see me after class" which was applied to my work.

To quote Black Adder

Black Adder : AB
Balrick: "A Buzzing Thing"
Black Adder: Baldrick i mean something which starts with A B.
Baldrick: Honey? Honey starts with a bee.


Monday, April 21, 2008

I thought my first post back would write itself, there is so much i want to say.

Life up here is so different. The people are different the roads are different, the weather, nothing is the same as the life i left behind. It is scary and auxilerating at the same time. So much lost, the safety net, the friends, old habits and routines. However there is so much to gain, new friends, new adventures, new stories, new ways of seeing the world.

Everything i have been through in the last 6 months is shaping the way i see the world. Sudden shock of learning the world you live in is just a sugar coated topping, that the world beneath that is harsher than you could ever imagine.

Paradigm Shift:

Is changing the way we use information to view a situation. This is best described in the following analogy. (sorry about the vulgarity)

Imagine a small boy reahing up his Grand mothers skirt you see this from a distance, grandma does not seem upset by it and is actively encouraging it.. Perversion is generally your first thought.

Now someone tells there is a bee in nanas skirt, and she is alergic, boy goes from potential deviate to hero.

That's a Paradigm Shift.

That is what i am undergoing, no not geratric entymology, but a change in the way i interpret the world around me. I am hoping this is for the best.

I am still trying to come to grips with so much up here, i am always challenged at work, i am making a lot of mistakes, getting used to new roads and not getting lost. For those who have been to our nations capital this is an easy thing to do.

Any hoo this is my life right now, sorry this post is slightly self indulgent but i am just trying to see the world clearly and give you a heads up into my world at the moment.

tales of physics, chemistry and a perfect life to follow


Sunday, April 20, 2008

Just when you thought it was safe to enter the Blogosphere....

He is back from the dead

Stay Tuned

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I am not one for long winded goodbyes, however this is to be my last ever blog post.

I am leaving for a new job in a couple of days where I will not have net access, nor the time to comment or post. I am exceedingly excited, Stace will not be accompanying me on this new course and I may not see her for the next 3 months.

I have never been good at saying goodbye generally I just disappear save the scandal til the end, leave without saying goodbye. I used to joke about not wanting o be present at my funeral, the truth is I didn’t want to be the only one there. Now as I grow older I realise that people do care, people do notice when I am not around, and it makes walking away a lot harder. However adventure calls, a chance to change the world, to be a good person and make a difference to world which is in desperate need of change.

To all that have posted here thank you for your support, Keshi for your humanity, Within Without your sense of justice and family are a rarity in this day and age, Menchie for showing how you can be successful and a mum, Lee a life with family and Monty Python, Whitesnake for not being afraid to be flawed and imperfect I will miss your honesty, Cazzie for showing history can be fun and listening to my pointless tales, Jewell who I feel is almost a second grandma to me, Shelly angry but alive, Paul who gave me a lifetime of thought In a single post, and Homoesapeons whose writing and life always challenged and provoked my own preconceived ideas. To anyone I missed I am sorry this was written in a hurry, but to all of you, thank you I will miss you all, thanks for showing me your lives and I wish you many more happy posts.

Take care out there to all of you…


Up until three years ago I felt like my life meant nothing, that I was running around in circles lost and incomplete, kind of like a man with only one roller-skate on. My final goodbye is for my beloved wife, without who none of this would be possible, I love you Stacy, I will miss you, if you need me I am only a phone call away…

Thanks for the second skate….

Thanks to Chris Hall and Stabbing Westward for my final song…The song is called Angel.

I believed that love was sacred
As I dove blindly into her sea
You see, that warm embrace felt more like drowning
As endless waves crashed over me

She was an insatiable black hole
Feeding off my mind and off my soul
I find love humilating
Sick and desperate need that drains me
God I hope I never feel again

But I've never been loved by an angel
I've never felt anything so pure
I've never been loved by an angel
Until tonight your heaven filled my room

She showed me love could lift me higher
With a kiss she reparied these broken wings
She revived my fading spirit
Restored my faith in everything

I have never felt I had a home
Even in a crowd I felt alone
I'd almost given up on life
I'm fully determined now
And never thought I'd ever feel again

I believed in nothing
But you believe in me
I thought that life was worthless
But you told me I'm a star

Wish me luck:)